My wife in Hospital.

Yesterday 14th.May 2007 my wife was admitted to the Tengku Ampuan Rahimah Hospital ,Klang . She is now at Ward 7C and her left eye is due to be operated on 16th.May 2007 . Her eye-lens is to be replaced by a synthetic/artificial one. Lately she had been complaining of her failing eye sight .I advised her to get a medical treatment .At first she was hesitant about the operation but after the doctor's advice she agreed on it . The eye-lens cost RM 450/- . Any way it is just a minor operation and she is scheduled to be released from Hospital on Friday .However , according to the doctor's advice she should not bow her head down for the next six months . This includes she would not be able to do the ' sujud ' while performing her prayers . This is to prevent the new eye-lens from being displaced . She still can perform her prayers while seated on a chair/stool . However all these would not stop us from our China trip .

While my wife is hospitalised , we would be taking our meals outside , except for dinner when Shidah ( Azman's wife ) would cook for us after she got home from office . Farin would do all the washings and sending Alisya to her afternoon school .

So far all of us can cope with our daily chores without any hitch . Our only hope is that my wife would undergo a successful operation .

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day

It means nothing to me now

It has all gone away

Due to greed and without sincerety .

Attempts made to come back to the good old days failed

No one seems interested having good cordial relationships

Smiles and nice words spoken were just mere for show

Rightousness and good deeds are nil .

On a ship there should be only one Captain

But in ours , many are scrambling to be the one

The ship would sink if there are more than one (Captain)

It would also sink without one (Captain) .

I have given up - saving the ship

Attempts made were looked upon with suspicions

I have given up hope

And let Allah decide on it's destiny .

Mother's day come and go

I long to celebrate it again just like before

Rejoice , food , laughter with my siblings

What a pity, it is just left in my dreams .

Visit to Johor Bahru .

On 1st.May 2007 we left Klang in our new car for Johor Bahru .On the way we stopped at Muar for 4 main reasons ie. 1) to test-run our new Merce on a long journey , 2) to visit my late father in-law's grave at the Muslim cemetery at Batu 6,Jalan Bakri ,Muar , 3) to pick up our daughter Farin from the University Technology at Skudai - she is coming back for a long holiday and 4) to reminisce my old days in Muar , that was the place where I starterd my career as a young Police officer and the place where I met my wife .

On reaching the cemetery ,like our previous visits we could not locate the grave .I almost gave up of finding it . I then recited the ' alfatihah ' by the sides of the road.Feeling not satisfied we walked further and began searching again . Again we almost gave up again .We then got into our car and was going to leave the cemetery .Before we we reached the exit we decided to search again for the last time . Then finally my wife found the grave and I was so thankful to God for He has fulfilled my wish to visit the grave of my late father in-law .It was on the third row from the road and under a shady tree . I recited the ' alfatihah ' again and thank God again for I've finally found the grave of my late father in-law who was a very kind man . A fine man and a happy go lucky person . I can't remember how many years he has left us but the memory of him is still fresh in my mind . I told myself that I would be visiting the grave again whenever we past Muar .

After that we came back to Muar town to have lunch at Tanjong ( the seaside ) . The food was delicious and it was also cheap . After having filled our tummy we then proceeded to Johor Bahru .

We reached Johor Bahru at about 4.00 pm. and checked into Crystal Crown Hotel , not far from my mother in-law's place . After our ' Asar ' prayers we came to my mother in-laws place .She was still confined to her bed and could only walk with the help of a crutch .

In the evening we visited my brother in-law Zainal at Majidee Park ,JB .

The next day we visited my wife's sisters at Taman Nongchik and at Taman UDA before we picked up our daughter Farin at her hostel . My sister in-law , Shidah took a lift on our car to go to Kuala Lumpur .We reached Klang at about 7.30 pm .

My fellow Malays ,when would you want to think wisely ?

The Ijok state assembly by-election is over . As expected the BN won - of course after much worst dubious tactics . Sometimes I wonder do democracy really still exist in this country . The election was conducted not in a fair manner . The Election Commission is nothing but just a tool of the BN government to claim the world that Malaysia is still a democratic country .Infact it just sounds hollow . Complaint of injustices and wrong doings were taken lightly and not given notice at all . Can you beleive it that the Chairman of the Election Commission shamelessly declared that development goodies prior to an election is not corruption . Why suddenly roads ,streets and even lanes were tarred almost up to the entrance of houses in almost every corner of Ijok ? Why potholes on roads at Taman Sri Andalas,Klang not being refilled ? Obvioulsly the reason is that there is no election in Taman Sri Andalas . Roads and streets in Ijok were suddenly lighted at night as if there were nightly fiestas through out the campaign period in that small shanty village . Suraus and Mosques in Ijok were given a new look - recently painted , fences put up and compound tarred. Houses were visited accompanied by handouts either in the form of cash or in kind . Infact anything asked by the people there would be entertained .All in all the government spent more than RM 36 million just for the purpose of winning the recent by-election .Where do the money come from ? It is not from BN's fund . It is from the taxpapers , contrary to most of the kampong folk's belief . Isn't that misuse of public fund ? Isn't this is against the Election procedures ?And isn't that an offence ?

The number of voters turn out was the highest in history - 83% . This is highly suspected . The high in percentage could be due to phantom voters that were imported by the BN. Electoral List showed quite a substantial number of dead people were still on the list of eligible voters.Loads of outstation buses carrying Wanita/Putri UMNO from outside the state as far as Perlis were sighted in Ijok .( BN explained that they were either the party's observers or campaigners ).If that is so why the need to bring them down to the polling stations on polling day . Most people would not believe this . My experience in the last General Election strengthens my belief .Prior to the 2004 General Election we received a letter from the Election Commission bearing a Malay lady's name ( unknown to us ) address to our house in Shah Alam informing of her place of voting . I believe she was a Putri UMNO member from some where , imported to vote in our area . If it was not for the purpose of voting what the heck she used my home address for ? That was one classic example of a suspected phantom voter . What about other house addresses used by other phantom voters ,which the house owners never dare to reveal ?

Isn't this an insult to the faculty of our mind especially in this context to the people of Ijok . I thought the Malays especially those that belong to my generation are now educated .Most of them I believe have had at least a SRP or a SPM certificate or at least have attended secondary school . They should be able to think wisely in exercising their rights . But what a pity their thinking are still the same as that of their forefathers . Infact I don't think they think at all . They simply blindly beleive what the BN machineries fed them although they have been neglected for almost 15 years . That is a predominantly a Malay area and yet the BN put up a MIC candidate . I am not being racial here but merely trying to thwart accusations by most Indians in this country that they are being sidelined and made second class citizens by the government. I am disgusted and disillussioned with the Malays in Ijok who are still unfazed by the 15 years of neglect by the previous MIC representative . Just see after this , Ijok will be forgotten and will only come to the lime-light again if there is another by-election . Most Ijokians would remain poor and continue to live in pathetic conditions . There is a kampong there ( I have forgotten the name of the kampong which was shown on TV3 ) that always remain flooded all year round and it would remain so till the cows come home . You ( Ijokians ) have made your choice and you all have to bear with it . God have mercy on the people of Ijok .

I am not a member of the opposition party . Infact I do not think that they are capable of ruling the country . What I want is just more oppositions in the State Legislative Assembly and in Parliment as a check and balance . Otherwise the government in power would arbitrarily do whatever they like according to their whims and fancies . Eventually the rakyat would suffer . As it is , the rakyat is already suffering , having to face with escalating prices of essentials. Most government servants and other fixed income earners have to resort to moonlighting . They have got no choice , otherwise their families would not have enough to eat and clothes to wear .

My fellow Malays , for heaven's sake when would you want to think wisely ???

Farin came back to renew her International Passport

Our daughter Farin was on a week's pre examination leave - the leave to facilitate the students to make preparation for their final exams .However we requested her to come back to renew her International Passport .At first she refused to come back but after much persuasion ,finally she relented . She came back last Thursday and the next day we went to the Immigration Office in Shah Alam . We managed to renew the passport within a day . Farin did not want to waste her precious time and she went back to her campus last Monday . She told us that she wanted to prepare herself for her exams . So ,we allowed her to go back .She would be coming back at the end of the month for her long vacation .

I am happy that she always pay particular attention to her studies . My wife used to call her in the evening and she would always be in the library .She would answer the phone whisperingly so as not to disturb other students .She likes to study in the library ,a practice she discovered and started while at MRSM Perlis .

We would be going to China on a ' 8 days Muslim Tour ' starting on 9th.June 2007 . We would be accompanied by our daughter Farin .This is also a present to her for her good performance in her studies .

My grand daughter Alisya in her baju kurung and tudung holding her cat.

My new car bearing number MBK 80.

My new car , a C 200K Mercedes Benz.

I took possession of my new car today .

At last today I was able to take possession of our new car . The car was registered at the Malacca JPJ office .Thus it bears the number MBK 80 . I like the number 80 because it brings me luck . All our cars except my son Aizad's , bears the number 80 .The numbers are JDC 80 a Perodua Kembara ( which will be used by our daughter Farin at UTM Skudai ) , BEX 80 a Honda Accord ( to be used by my wife ), BFN 80 a Peugeot 305 ( my son Azman's car ) and our latest car , MBK 80 a C 200K Mercedes Benz . I managed to get the number MBK 80 through the good office of our brother in law Hassan who is now attached to the JPJ headquarters in Kuala Lumpur for a nominal fee .

It is my dream car . It has been my wish to own the car .I waited 4 years to own it. Today ,I finally fulfilled that wish . I am grateful to Allah for all the bounties that He has bestowed on to us and our family .

Istana Pagar Ruyong -the descendants of Negeri Sembilan's royalty comes from here.

My wife and me at Istana Pagar Ruyong,Bukit Tinggi, Indonesia.

My wife at the Malim Kundang's (Indonesia's Si Tanggang) site,Padang,Indonesia .

Azman is now an IT entrepreneur .

On 30th.March 2007 ,my son Syazirul Azman came home a happy man because his application to be an IT entrepreneur was successful . He was given a grant by the government after his proposal was able to convince them . With this means that he is also given access to the Multemedia Lab at the University of Multimedia to do his work .

In the beginning I was a bit pessimistic about the venture but since he is so optimistic about it , I hope and pray to Allah that he would succeed .After all who would not want to see his children succeed ? One thing I notice about my son Azman he is confident that he would succeed as an entrepreneur . Inspite of my constant reminder to him ,he resigned from a good paying job which paid him almost RM4000/- a month about a year ago . ( After that he was doing nothing at home except attending his MBA classes at UiTM during the week end ).Not that I do not like him to be a successful businessman but after hearing from some businessmen of the tribulations and difficulties faced by them ,I was a bit hessitant to allow him to venture into something that is unknown. Any way since he has made his decision I could only pray that he would succeed .

25th.March is Malaysia's Police Day .

Today the 25th.of March , is Police Day .It is the 200th year since the Declaration of the Police Charter in Penang in 1807 .It is the day to be reminisced by all Policemen and ex policemen .It can also be regarded as a big and important day for the Policemen in Malaysia .Every year we would renew our oath of allegiance to the Police and the country .After being with the Police for almost 34 years , I cannot help but feel as if I am still part of it, eventhough I have retired for almost 4 years now .Normally ,on this day when I was the Officer in charge of a Police District , I would inspect the Guard of Honour and witness the march past of my policemen and officers, together with members of the public who were invited to attend the celebration . I would then stand on the dais and read the 'Perutusan Ketua Polis Negara' followed by the taking of oath ceremony . Then we would have a sumptious breakfast together .Other activities would ensue which normally last for a month .As OCPD I would be very busy .Those were the good old days .

Although there were ups and downs during my 34 years of career in the Police , I have no regrets joining it . The Police had given me a career opportunity by which I rose from the rank of Inspector to be a senior officer ( Assist.Commissioner ) which I had not dreamt of when I was a kid . With the emoluments from the Police, I managed to feed my family well and educate my four children of which all have gone to universities . When I retired I was also given a generous gratuity and pension, enough for me to sustain till the rest of my life .

However towards the end of my career , I was a bit sore with the senior officers in power then ,with the way they treated me . A number of occassions I was denied my promotions just because I was not in their good books .By that I mean I refused to be their henchmen into activities that were against my principles . I would rather be not promoted than be doing something that was against the norms and religion of which I would be answerable to God .During that era, promotion was not based on merit .Cronyism was the game of the day .( perhaps cronyism was inherited from the government of the day that rule the country ). Hardwork and and dedication were not to be reckoned . Many frustrated officers opted for early retirement .I too nearly did the same .But love of the uniform and police work held me back till my compulsory retirement in 2003 .

The Police of today is no more like the good old days .Public perceptions is at it's lowest ebb.The public do not respect the Police like they did before and it is always often looked with suspicions .It all began in 1998 during the Anwar debacle when the Police were too eager to protect the government in power of the day . Peaceful demonstrations were met with harsh and violent actions . The Police were not sensitive towards the feelings and expectations of the public .Violations of human rights were the order of the day .

It is high time that the Police should change with times .The Police should be cautious and professional in their actions .After all peaceful demonstrations are allowed as stated in the Federal Constitutions .Why should the public be denied of an avenue to express their dissatisfactions with the government ? They are also trying to safeguard our interests including that of the poorly paid policemen when they voiced up their oppositions to the imposition of tolls and price increases of petrol etc. The Police should not treat the demonstrators as their enemy . They should only take action when there is a disturbance of the peace . How are the Police to gain the confidence and cooperation of the public ,which is a very essential element to ensure Police success, if it continues the antagonizing policy . It is heartening to see as shown in the TV ,how the Police in Korea , France ,Germany and many developed countries handled the demonstrators .They did not retaliate even to the extent they were thrown with hard objects .They are very professional .I do not know when our PDRM would regain that standard again ?

We are left with only a kitten .

At about 10.30pm on Friday , my front neighbour called me and told me that he saw a dead cat after being knocked down by a car on the road infront of our house. I thought it was a stray cat that was knocked down. Any way my neighbour insisted that I came down to see it for myself .So I came out and there to my surprise and horror ,I found out that it was one of our little kittens.The mother cat was kneeling over her dead son as if in mourning while the other kitten was running around besides . All vehicles that passedby slowed down to avoid the cats .Immediately I called my son Azman to remove the dead cat away to be buried while I also asked his wife Shidah to take away the remaining cats inside the house .

Normally the kittens would never leave the compound of our house .I do not know that evening how the two kittens happen to be outside the compound of our house .They obviously must have followed the mother cat to the front neighbour's house to look for her mate .What a stupid and irresponsible mother cat .Now , we are left with only a kitten with that stupid mother cat .I am sad because I began to love the two kittens .They were an active pair and they would run and played hide and seek .Well, that is what we call fate .

I have my regrets too for allowing the cats to sleep outside the house that day .

Matta Fair at PWTC - 17th. - 19th. March

Last Saturday I went to the PWTC Kuala Lumpur to scout round for a good deal at the Matta Fair which was held from the 17th. till 19t.March . This was the the first time that I went to such a fair . I went solely for two purposes .One was to inquire if I could buy a return ticket from Dublin - KL and vice versa for my daughter Eileen to come back to Malaysia in June and the tickets to be picked up in Dublin and secondly to book a tour ( Muslim Tour ) to China for the three of us comprising of myself , wife and daughter Farin . I came early in the morning and the place was not yet packed . By afternoon the crowd was getting bigger which made movement inside the hall a little bit jammed .

On my first inquiry about the return ticket Dublin - KL , they told me that it was possible to buy the tickets but not on the Matta offer .In other words it would be by the ordinary price .Because of that I decided to send the money via telegraphic transfer to my daughter's account in Dublin for her to buy the tickets there . Any way on the tour of China , I did the booking to go to China for 9th of June trip ,via May's Travels .I am very much looking forward for this trip because I have been planning for it for a long time . I hope to see the Muslim's historical places there .

Our two little kittens had been missing .

For the last two days we have been on a frantic search for our two little kittens which had been missing .One was a totally black little cat and the other a dirty looking one just like the mother cat. One evening ,they suddenly went missing . This time I knew that I was not responsible for their disappearence although my wife at first suspected that I could have abandoned them somewhere .Although I had been contemplating to throw the two cats away because they were not good looking and one of them was also a female , I did not want to do it in the near future . I wanted to wait a little bit later when they are already big and able to fend for themselves. Could it be that the two cats had the premonition of what was going to befall on them and because of that they ran away ? I do not know .Only God knows .

I suspected that the two cats could have gone to the back lane outside of our house and was picked up by some naughty boys who took them away . They then could not find their way home .It has been four days now and they are still missing .My only hope for them is so that they are happy in their new home ,if they have a home .

The moral behind the story is that , do not think that an animal especially cats could not read what is behind our minds . That is why old people used to say , that cats were our Prophet's close companion and very much loved by him .

Oh God, if I had committed a sin , please have mercy on me.Amin .

Cat's matter .

Recently our cat ' Sihitam ' ( a name given by our grand daughter Alisya ) gave birth to 4 cute little kittens .Hence there are are now 5 cats in our house . This is too many . What matters most to me is that the stench smell of cat's faeces has become unbearable . The moment one step into the kitchen where the cats normally hang around , one would feel the terrible smell . Obviously my wife was already tired of cleaning the cat's faeces and unable to clean all .

Sihitam the mother cat kept on going looking after her husband at our neighbours house ,opposite ours . One morning I saw her went over twice looking for her husband .I got fed up with her because I knew in no time she would get pregnant again . I do not want our house to be a factory producing cats . Without telling anybody I caught hold of Sihitam and locked her in my car's rear boothe. Then I drove the car to the public play ground not far from our house with the idea of abandoning her there . On reaching the place , I changed my mind because I pitied her - she would not be able to find food there . I then drove the car to Taman Sri Andalas old town and at the back of a row of food stalls , I abandoned her there . As soon as I opened the car boothe ,out jump Sihitam .I was sure that there would be ample food supply for her there .I then left and went home .

I was determined not to tell any one especially Alisya . She would become hysterical if she found out about that .Noticing that Sihitam was not around my wife asked me , but I pretended as if I do not know about it. Finally after being interrogated by her like a police woman did, I admitted I had abandoned the cat somewhere . She was not angry over the missing cat because she was also fed up with having to clean the cat's faeces every day .

However in the evening my son Azman noticed the the mother cat was not around and asked my wife about it .At first my wife refused to tell him but after a while she had to give in . But she did not tell him the exact spot where it was abandoned .The same evening Azman and his wife went out on a frantic search for the mother cat . Of course their effort were all in vain .

The next day Azman asked my wife again for the exact spot where the cat was abandoned . After much pestering she finally revealed the place . In the evening Azman and his wife went out again on the look out for the mother cat .At about 9.00 pm they spotted the mother cat in the padang not far from the food stall . After a short chase ,they finally managed to catch the mother cat and brough her home . The mother cat was kept in their bedroom for two days without our knowledge .In the mean time Azman complained to my wife over my action in abandoning the mother cat and my wfe told him that I would not mind keeping the cat if she is castrated .

So on the second day Azman and his wife brought the mother cat to a private veterinary clinic in Petaling Jaya to have her castrated . After the castration she had to be admitted in the clinic for a night for observation . The next evening Azman brought the mother cat home .

On seeing the weak mother cat ,I regretted my action although I did it with good intention .Now that she is castrated I do not have to worry about her getting pregnant again .

This year's Chinese New Year - modest one .

As expected this year's Chinese New Year is a quiet one .This is probably due to the slow in the economy in the country. Contratry to the government's claim that the economy is vibrant, most of the people thinks otherwise . Perhaps it it true that the country's export has reached a RM trillion , but it is only the exporters who are getting the benefits . Ordinary people such as the domestic traders , farmers , factory workers , government servants and pensioners like me have nothing to benefit at all . The government is using that figure to appease the people so that they would not pressure them to demand anything that is hard for them to fulfill .It is also to sustain the ' feel good ' situation , perhaps in preparation for the next General Election. These are positive signs of an impending General Election . They have to hold the election before April 2008 in order to deny Anwar Ibrahim taking part in the election . ( He would then be eligible to do so ) . Most Malaysian Chinese are celeberating the New Year in a modest way . This could be felt by the less in the burning of fire crackers .I had the opportunity to visit an old friend ,Mr. Tan Poh Sim of Kg.Batu Belah ,Klang on Chinese New Year with my wife and Farin . He too shared the same sentiment as mine .

In the afternoon we went to Kajang to attend the engagement ceremony of Encik Agus's second daughter .There I met a few old acquaintances , relatives of Encik Agus . Some of them were surprised why I have not taken up any employment . They even suggested that I get myself involved into business or agriculture. I told them at this age I could not afford to take any risk .I rather keep whatever I have saved than take an uncalculated risk .

On Monday we sent Farin to the Bus Station . She went back to her college at UTM Skudai earlier in order for her to prepare for her exams . It has been her practice to go back to campus earlier than others . I am quite pleased with her performance in her studies . I monitor her performance via the UTM's website and so far she has been maintaining her CGPA at above the 3.00 point . Although she is a MARA express programme student and being one of the youngest student of her class , she is able to be among the top student . This proves that hard work would bring success to anyone .

Today was a very lonely affair for us. Only the two us were left in the house . Azman and his wife had gone to Malacca and Port Dickson for a holiday and Alisya had gone back to Shah Alam.I told my wife not to cook anything . We had our meals in town .

My good neighbour owned a Merse much earlier than me.

Yesterday (5th.Feb.2007) morning, I went to Maybank Shah Alam to deposit a cheque into my Credit Card account .After that I went to Naza Motors showroom in Petaling Jaya. My intention was to see the carnival sales of Mercedes Benz cars .I had been longing to own a C 200K Mercedes Benz . When approached by one of the sales personnel , I requested to see the said car .Unfortunately there weren't many cars of that model around . I just manage to see one such vehicle - an unregistered 2002 model which was priced at RM 208,000/- . It was slightly expensive when compared to the market value . A C180K 2006 model cost RM.190,000/- at Cycle and Carriage .However it's already registered and used as a demo car . After spending about an hour there I decided to come home and would go to the Klang showroom later .

On my way home ,I received a call from my wife informing me that she saw a Police vehicle at our neighbours house ( opposite our house ) . She suspected something had happened there .On reaching home I noticed that the Police vehicle had left and I called Capt.(R) Muhammad to inquire what had happened in his house . He told me me that between 9.00 am and 11.00 am. while he was out in town ,some one ( one or more persons ) had broken into his house through the back window and ransacked the house . He has yet to know what was missing because his son had not returned home . According Capt.(R) Mat , this was the 5th. time that his house was broken into . He thought when he retired from his job it would be safer since he would spend most of his time at home and could look after his house while his wife and son were out working .

In his case probably the suspect had observed his routine .He has a bad habit of leaving the house at about 9.00 am to have breakfast in town .He would normally comes back at about 11.00 am. The suspect took this opportunity to break into his house .

While at his house I saw a brand new C 200K Mercedes Benz ,a 2002 model parked in his driveway . I asked him whose car was that and he told me that he had just bought the car the day before from Pantai Bharu Holdings , Jalan Kapar , Klang for RM.170,000/- . I told myself obviously he had beaten me .I thought I would be owning the car earlier than anybody else in our area . I am not trying to compete with anybody but it just shows that I am not the only one who would be eyeing to own the prestigious car . There is nothing wrong for a retired person like us to enjoy the comfort of the so called prestigious car at the end of our life time . After all we have been slogging for almost 30 years to earn that . Definitely we deserve that .Wouldn't anybody agree with me ?

Any way last night I had to remain awake to look after the security of our house . I went to sleep at about 2.00 am and even that I woke up 3-4 times .Each time I would come out to the balcony to observe anything suspicious .

Obviously ,I am a bit worried .

Hj.Amunuddin and Hajjah Suraya's son got married today.

This afternoon I and wife attended a wedding reception of my old friend's son at Dewan Komuniti Taman Tun Dr.Ismail,Kuala Lumpur. Haji Aminuddin and wife Hjjah Suraya are old friends whom we have known each other since the early 1970s when we were then residing in Segamat ,Johor. Aminuddin was then working as an Assist Manager of an estate in Segamat .Infact then they were not yet married .They were in love and had difficulties in getting married because of opposition from both families . Suraya was hiding in our house for some time before they finally got married . We are glad ,although Suraya was a Chinese convert ,their marriage remained till today and they have a son and a daughter .The son got married today .Infact the son was Azman's year mate at the Universiti Utara Malaysia .

Haji Aminuddin worked in the plantation sector and was transfered to Kluang and later to Sabah where they remained a good number of years until he retired about 2 years ago .Our relationship remained cordial and we kept in touch from time to time . They now settled down in Taman Tun Dr.Ismail,Kuala Lumpur . I am glad to have a family friend like Aminuddin and Suraya .

Good health is a priority to me .

My grand daughter Siti Nuralisya has been sick for the past one week .Her cough is not receding and at night her body teperature is high .Despite of that she goes to school except for today's 'Agama School' where she is a school prefect . She told us she couldn't go because she was not feeling well . I did not mind becasue I thought I wanted to bring her to the clinic again this afternoon .I brought her to the clinic for the first time last Thursday. At about 4.00 pm I told my wife to get ready to go to the clinic. However she told me that Alisya was getting better and thus not necessary for us to bring her there . I was still not happy with her assumption because Alisya might be okay in the afternoon and could be having fever in the evening . I had a tough time arguing with my wife over this .In the end I had to give in and wait for another day .

I am quite particular about my children and grand children's health , especially Alisya . She is our only grand daughter .She is everything to us . Her welfare is my priority . I hope she would be better by tomorrow .

Tomorrow I would be sending my wife to Kuala Lumpur to see our family doctor for her routine health examination .We are now approaching 60 and I insist that both of us have a regular medical check up . Although it is a bit far away from Klang , we have been comfortable with our family doctor . They know our health history well because they have monitoring our health for some time .

Although my left knee has not fully recovered , I am able to walk without feeling pain any more .However I still could not walk for long distance and for a long time . The x-ray report on my knee showed that I am at an early stage of osteoporasis , the degeneration of the bone .It is a process of ageing and I have to bear with it . Ageing cannot be avoided . To avoid getting worst I have to be very careful not to injure my bone especially my knee . I must also continue taking health supplement. Fortunately , recently my sister in-law in Los Angeles sent me a very good 'joint supplement' -( Kirkland -extra strength Glucosamine HCL 1500 mg/Chondroitin Sulfate 1200 mg manufactured in California ) which is better than the one I took earlier which was manufactured in Dublin .My weight is also one of the reasons for my bone problem .According to my doctor I must reduce my weight . I am now more determined to do so.

I need a grand son to continue my offspring.

I woke up early this morning to perform my subuh prayer.As I was walking from my bed to the toilet I thought it would be a lonely day for us in this house today because our grand daughter Alisya had gone to her parent's place in Shah Alam to spend her week end.I had invited her earlier to go to Port Dickson with us today to attend a wedding of my former officer's daughter .She refused. I could understand her because she wanted to spend the week end with her parents .Alisya is now 8 years old and she is still the only child of my eldest son, Aizad.Poor Aizad .Indeed I am poor too because I still do not have a grand son who would continue my offspring on this earth and the here after. Who would be my 'makmum' ( followers ) to lead in my prayers .It had never occured to my mind to ask from Allah to be bestowed with grand sons .Normally after prayers I would ask from Him for successes for my children in their studies , our prosperity and good health forgetting to ask to have grand sons .What an oversight or I was taken for granted ? I have to come back to God for His help .He is our savior and He is merciful . And so after my subuh prayer,for the first time I prayed to Him so that my daughter-in-law ( Alisya's mother ) would soon bear us a grand son ,who would continue my off spring on this earth and the here after.

Islam under attack again.

Today is Idil Adha. After the Id prayers straight away we ( me and my son Azman )went home .We are celeberating this years Idil Adha with our family in our home in Klang.It is a quiet one without any visitors .
This year's Id is a sad one for all Muslims .Islam is under attack again by the West .The execution of Saddam Hussein in a way is a great blow to Islam too. I don't deny the fact that Saddam was a dictator. It is a fact also that he did some good thngs for the people of Iraq. He managed to unite the forever feuding Shiites and the Sunnis. After Prophet Muhammad died the Arabs had never been united. Leadership such as Saddam was imperative for the unifications of Iraq .Without him Iraq would have fallen apart into states for the Kurds ,Shiites,Sunnis and others. Iraq need a strong personality like Saddam Hussein . Look what is happening to the present administration (puppet government of the American and it's allies ) in Iraq today .Killing and anarchy is the order of the day.
Recalling the trial of Saddam Hussien ,he was obviously not given a fair trial .He was tried by the Kangaroo Court of the puppet government of Iraq . In between trials one of Saddam's lawyers was killed by armed men belived to be the government of Iraq's secret Police .What was worst still, in the middle of the trial the presiding Judge was removed because he appeared to the prosecutuion that he was for the defence. The West has always maintained that the Syariah Laws are barbaric and cruel and yet they allowed Saddam Hussein to be tried by that Law . Why ? This is just to demonstrate to the world the bad side of Syariah Laws and Islam -Syariah court is a kangaroo court. How many Muslims realized this fact ? Surprisingly ,some men and women together were seen jumping and singing in the streets ,so happy over the latest debacle without realizing that they had fallen into the American and the West's trap.Looking at the present trend ,Iraq can never be united .
Mr.Bush was so keen to introduce the West's style of democracy as if it is the only form of government suited to all countries . Why was Iraq was not given the freedom to choose its form of administration ?When Hammas won the election (West's style of democracy)in Palestine , why punish the Palestinians by imposing certain restrictions on the Hammas government until it was almost on the verge of collapse ? This only shows that Mr.Bush and the West were not sincere in introducing democracy to these countries .Obviously they have certain agendas - to stop any emerging powerful leadership that could be a rival to them and to weaken Islam .
I wonder why the Arabs do not realize this ? Some Arab governments such as Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Jordan are willing to be stooges of the Americans and the West.They allowed themselves to be used by the Amrericans and the West to go against fellow Arabs and Muslim brothers .During the Iraq War ,Saudi Arabia allowed it's soil to be used by the allied forces to attack a fellow Muslim country . A fellow Arab couild never lead them because they are always envying each other . Perhaps Malaysia couild .Why not give it a try ?

Watching BBC News I was sad at the behavior of the Shiites singing and dancing (men and women who were in their purdahs ) in the streets of Baghdad rejoicing over the execution of Saddam Hussein .True Islam , do not teach it's followers to brood vengeance on their perpetrators .Passion and respect for others even to the enemies should always be maintained . Only God should punish .Not for mankind to decide .

Getting worried on the arrival of the new year .

It's year ending soon . Christmas was yesterday and soon it would be new year ( 2007 ) .Normally people are getting excited and looking forward for the occassion . Oddly I am the opposite .There is nothing to look forward .Infact I am worried ,not because I am getting older but because of the uncertainty of the future .Prices of goods are getting dearer.Toll fees had just been increased effective January 1, and it would definitely snowballed to more increases of the price of goods .The stupid Minister of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs said it would not affect any increase in the price of goods .So far what has he done to curb the price increases ? Being a pensioner I have a fixed income and my buying power is getting less . Working government servants would probably get a pay increase soon to offset the rising in inflation . Who would come to our rescue ?We would normally be neglected by the government .Who would care to the senior citizen's plight who has always been regarded as a burden to society ? Who says a pensioners life is a blistfull one ? Yes ,people like former Prime Ministers or Ministers would probably enjoy because they get 4 or 5 pensions .Besides they would probably have accumulated a sizeable amount of property .

When I come to think of the future I would probably end up being not able to sleep, worrying over it .Infact I tried to shift my mind to something else , but I just can't .Some how it keeps on coming to my mind . And I sympathise with those pensioners who gets lesser pension than mine and with children still in colleges and universities .I wonder how they cope with the situation . I know quite a handfull of them seeking employment .After over 30 years of struggling working to feed a family and when the time to retire one has to find another job .I wonder when is he going to rest .He would probably be working until he dies .Now, is it fair to him ? I would like all young people to ponder over this .

Lifelong education should be practiced by all.

Year 2006 is ending soon .Most people are looking forward for the new year .But not me merely because my final exams is getting near. I have to pass ,otherwise I would not be getting my scroll. Although it would not matter much to my furutre because I am not getting a job after this, it would be a document that I could be proud of. It would prove to my children and grand children that an old man like me could still study and perform . I am also proving to the Malaysian public that a lifelong education is practicable .Islam too professes that one should seek knowledge till death .On this context knowledge does not mean only religious knowledge.It includes any knowledge that is beneficial to mankind. According to the Hadith if one dies whilst seeking knowledge , he or she would die a martyr.

I am planning to continue with my lifelong education by taking a course - Executive Diploma in Syariah Laws after this . I hope I could be an expert on Syariah Laws.To some I may sound crazy .They could be asking ,' What the heck this old man is trying to prove ? '. I am not trying to prove anything , I am just seeking knowledge which I did not have the opportunity when I was young .I enjoy attending classes ,learning new things and reading is a past time hobby for me .Rather than sit at home wasting my time I might as well do something useful like this .After all I do not hurt or annoy people .

I am handicapped without a computer .

I am alone at home today .The others has gone to Kajang to attend Shidah's cousin sister's wedding. I am taking this opportunity to borrow Farin's laptop to update my blog .I have been without a computer for almost a year ( since my laptop broke down last year ) . Any way I have just bought a new PC last Friday from Pikom at PWTC which should be ready for delivery in a week's time .I was not keen buying another laptop after realising it's difficulty in repair and updating it .

Well , computer is already a necessity , without which I feel a bit handicapped .Normally I surf the internet to get the latest news and to read from independent media which have got nothing to hide .I also do it to update my blog which I have been having since 2004. I hope one day I could publish the blog into a book for my children and grandchildren to read and to understand my feelings .

My shop in Pandan Indah and my apartment in USJ Court 10 Subang Jaya has been vacant since 1st December 2006 .This means I am short of cash by RM 2500/- every month . The shop's tenant decided to move to Damansara Mutiara,PJ after having rented my shop for more than 10 years while the tenant ( an Indonesian woman ) at the apartment has not been paying rentals for 3 months and we have got no choice but to evict her .I hope I'll get new tennants for the shop and the apartment as soon as possible .Otherwise we would have to tighten our belts for the next few months until new tenants move in .

My knee problem is getting better ever since I took Viartril-S pills .I could now walk properly without feeling pain any more .However I still could not bent my knee especially during prayers.I perform my obligations by sitting on a stool .I should be able to bent it in a few weeks time .I feel so sad because I have not been able to perform the subuh the prayers at the nearby mosque for almost 3 months .

Now I truely realized the importance of good health .There is no use having alot of money to spend if one is not healthy .You cannot really enjoy life . I pray to Allah that I and my family members would be bestowed with good health as well as other bounties . Amin.

Holiday at Port Dickson for my grand daughter.

It's school holidays .I feel duty bound to bring some joy to my family especially to my grandchild Siti Nuralisya .So I decided to to go to Port Dickson .After all it's a long time since our last visit to our family apartment in PD. This could also be a present for my grand daughter for achieving second place in her class in the Year One Final Exams this year .So on 25th November 2006 after my class at Akedemi Pengajian Islam,Universiti Malaya , my wife , daughter Fareen , grand daughter Siri Nualisya and myself left home for PD . On reaching our apartment at Sunsine Bay Resort , we noticed there were already many visitors . The swimming pool was almost filled with people and there was hardly any space to squeeze in my grand daughter . I then told my grand daughter to be there early the next morning to get a space for her to swim .

In the evening as usual we felt as if being in a Chinese New Village . The techno-music was played full blast without due consideration for others.

The next morning my grand daughter cancelled her plan to be at the swimming pool as she wanted to follow me to the sea side .We went for a dip and swim by the sea side for a couple of hours until my grand daughter got tired . We came back to our apartment to have a second breakfast. We then just watched people at the seaside from the apartment balcony .

In the afternoon we came to town to have lunch at the KFC .As I was still full and skipped the lunch , I decided to go shopping at the local supermarket .

The second evening at the apartment was a bit quiter because most of the holiday makers had left .We could sleep peacefully .

The next morning I brought Alisya to the swimming pool . There wasn't many people and she could swim as much as she could .However she was not satisfied and forced me to bring her to the sea side for a further swim there .After a couple of hours we came back to the apartment feeling hungry .

We left PD for home around noon .After a brief stop over at the TNB office to pay the electricity bill we proceeded for home .

I felt releived and peaceful while at PD . Away from the hustle and bustle of city life brought peace and tranquility to me . Infact I do not mind to make PD as my permanent home later on when I am slightly older .

I sent Azman to the airport this early morning . He is now in Alor Star for some business deal.I hope he is successful in his venture .

A short holiday in Padang and Bt.Tinggi,Sumatera.

We left home at about 5.00 am on 6th.November 2006 in order to be on time for a flight to Padang, Sumatera,Indonesia .The Air Asia flight was supposed to take off at about 7.55 am but was delayed for about an hour due to technical problem .We found out later that it was because the door to the cockpit could not be opened .I was a bit worried because anything could happened to the second hand cheap air carrier during our flight. However , I felt relieved when we landed safely at Padang airport after about an hour's journey .

At the airport we were received by a getleman called Oyong . Apparently ,my son's ( Aizad )father in law contacted him to wait for us . Oyong was the guide and driver for Aizad's father in law when he visited Padang earlier and he recommended this person to be our guide and driver throughout our stay in West Sumatera. He drove a 4 wheel drive Toyota vehicle .He took us to a restaurant and had an early lunch .Wow , the food at the Nasi Padang Restaurant was superb and never had I tasted such a tasty food .

After lunch we were taken to our hotel - the Pangeran Hotel or Prince Hotel .They said it's the best hotel in Padang but according to Malaysian standard it's only an 2 or 3 star . Worst still it was under renovation and it looked a bit messy . The whole evening we did not go anywhere but stayed in our room as we were tired and sleepy . We had our dinner in the hotel but the food was horrible .

The next morning after breakfast we began our trip visiting places of interests .We went to Pagarruyung and visited the old palace of the Minangkabau king .It was quite a distance from Padang Town .On the way we could see padifields and lakes which were very scenic . We also went to the place where the legendry story of Malim Kundang ( equivalent to our Si Tanggang ) took place . It was near the seaside and we saw stone figures which looked like that of a ship and the man called Malim Kundang begging forgiveness from his mother .

We had lunch at a restaurant on the highway to Bukit Tinggi .The food was also good and cheap . We reached Bukit Tinggi at about noon and did some shopping at the bazar. The weather was slightly cool due to it's location on top of a hill .My wife was busy looking for 'telekung' because that was the only thing that was cheap there . She also bought cloth for making dress for her favourite daughter in law -Azman's wife .Alisya got a nice tudung while I just bought a sarong .

We were about to go back to Padang when our vehicle could not be started. The Indonesians were in the habit of mixing their petrol with diesel in order to save on petrol. This time the percentage was too much .My driver suggested we put up a night in Bukit Tinggi but I insist to go back to Padang because the hotel bill there was already paid .In the end he gave in and the car was sent to the workshop to have the infiltrated petrol removed .After filling with a new petrol we started our journey back to Padang . Before reaching our hotel we stopped to have dinner at an ikan bakar restaurant . The food was not that good except for the ikan bakar .We reached our hotel at about 8.00 pm .

On 8th,November morning after breakfast , the driver picked us up to go a round town because my wife wanted to buy keropok buah malinjau . We had lunch at a stall by the sea where the fish was very fresh - only one dish that was the fish .It was superb and satisfying .It was also very cheap.

In the evening we rested in our hotel room watching TV.

The next morning at about 6.00 am we checked out from our room to go back to Malaysia .Before reaching the airport we stopped for breakfast -lontong Sumatera ( comprise of ketupat and sayur pucuk paku ) .What a weird 'lontong' ?

We left Padang airport at about 8.00 am. and reached KLCT at about 10.30 am .Azman picked us for home.

On the whole it was a not so enjoyable holiday .Nothing that fascinate us there . It was just like our country .The thing that is a bit peculiar is that all the busineses were controlled by the local Minangkabaus .The Chinese were not seen doing reputable businesses .

Any way I think ,I should have gone to a place foreign to us ,like China or Australia . That should be our next destination .

Hari Raya Idilfitri in Klang .

Although we are now staying in Klang we did not go to the mosque nearby our house to pray Sunnat Idilfitri this year . Instead I and my son Azman decided to pray at the Grand Mosque in Shah Alam .I decided to do so because after the prayers we wanted to pay our respect to my late father at his grave in Seksyen 21 Shah Alam .At the mosque the situation was almost like the previous years . There were quite a conspicously large number of Indonesian and Bangladeshi workers . The locals who were present were those who came back from other places .This I could notice from their car number plates and their unfamiliar faces .

Surprisingly at the grave there was not as many crowd as the previous years . This could be due to the fact that the people knew of the situation like last year where there was a massive jam. To avoid the jam they could have stagger the time to visit the graves or they could have gone a day earlier .

Immediately after reciting surah Yassin at my late father's grave , we came home . Not long later some non Muslim friends came to the house . There were quite a number of them and we were busy entertaining them till about 5.00 pm. I was quite happy because there are people who still care for me .

On the morning of second day of Hari Raya , Azman and his wife left for Penang . Before leaving Azman's wife surprisingly gave me and my wife angpows containing RM.100 each . I refused to accept but she insisted .So ,I and my wife had no choice but to accept . Ever since staying with us she gives my wife RM.200 each month and she also sometimes spend buying the kitchen requirements . A real big contrast to Aizad's wife .

After that we were quite busy because quite a number of children on bicycle came to our house to collect angpows.

In the evening my sister in law ( Samson's wife ) and her children came to the house . According to her ,my brother Samson had gone back to the kampong .Earlier they visited my father's grave in Shah Alam . I noticed that they are not in good terms with my brother . For some unknown reason their houe in Taman Bukit Teratai, Ampang was auctioned and they are now staying in her late mother's house in Kg.Pandan .I do not know where my brother is staying.

Later my brother in law Mahadi his wife, daughter Asrina, husband and children, Roha , husband and son came . The house was a bit rowdy for some time . They left at about 11.00 pm .

On the third day of Hari Raya we were quite free because no one came .So we could sleep . Although we heard our gate bell rang ( the children came to collect angpows ) we did not open it because we were so tired .

Today is Friday .I am fasting today -Puasa Enam . Till now no one comes . Tomorrow morning we would be going to Johor Bahru to send Farin back to her university . Although her leave is till next week , she decides to go back earlier to study for her exams which is scheduled to be on 6th Nov.2006 . I pray to Allah so that she would be successfull with flying colours in her exams and achieve her ambition to do her Masters in the UK .

On 6th November 2006 I and wife would be flying to Padang Indonesia for a short holiday .

Do not dream like Mr.Mat Jenin .

Today is Deepavalee. I just stay at home .I am now all alone by myself because the rest ( wife, Alisya, Azman and his wife ) has gone to Shah Alam to do some shopping .I told them not to buy unnecessary things because this year's Hari Raya would be a quiet one , unlike when I was still working when I still have many friends .Now that I am retired , who would want to be a friend to a retired person ? A retired person is of little use to most people .( Not all of course ).That is a fact which I have for long accepted . Soon perhaps a retired person like me would be of little use to his family too . I am ready to anticipate the unexpected . I am not surprise too when I am too old and be a burden to the family I would perhaps opt to stay in an Old Folks Home .Not the government one of course , may be the private one where one has to pay . Or may be I may choose to stay alone in my seaside apartment in Port Dickson . Any way I hope I do not have to be into that predicament because I still love my family .

Age has turned me into a wiser person .I am not like the old days when I was so looking forward to Hari Raya. I feel Hari Raya is just like any other days .Nothing special .I am also not looking forward to going back to my home town.This is especially so, ever since I decided that I no more have a home town . Morover my children are grown up and where I am residing is their home town .I have to be home during Hari Raya because my children need a place to come back to .

Oh, I have to stop for a while because the gate bell is ringing . An old friend , Mr. Tan Poh Sim is coming to visit me and wish me Hari Raya .They would not be able to come for Hari Raya because they are going to visit a relative in Singapore .

Mr.Tan Poh Sim and his wife who came to the house just now kept on praising about our house .They were impressed with the plan and told me that I had built a nice comfortable home . Of course it is so because I took pains to see other houses and incorporate all those elements into mine .And the cost too was not cheap because I had to spend almost my entire life's savings on it .Any way it was money well spent and I do not regret it because it is something like my dream come true achievement . It was my dream that I would one day reside in a bungalow house of some standing . Any way I still have other dreams which I must achieve before I die - ie to own a Mercedes car , to see the world and plus other upgraded dreams .

I would advise my children that they should have dreams like mine . They should have a target or vision which they must achieve within a stipulated time .By that way ,they would steer their vision to a direction and would not go astray .This is important, so that they would always work hard to achieve their vision .It also work as a catalyst for motivation .Otherwise one would not know what he is working for . Once you have achieved a certain drean try to upgrade your dream so that there is always a dream . But do not dream like Mr.Mat Jenin .( dream of fantasies ).

The medicine for my knee is very expensive .

After taking a bottle of ' Viartril-S - Glucosamine Sulphate ' which was recommended by my doctor , I feel a bit better on my left knee.At least I could walk though slowly .Actually the recomended dosage was 2 capsules each time and 3 times a day .But because of the Fasting month I had to limit it to 2 times a day only ie.once after ' sahur 'and once after iftar .According to the recomendations I should take the medicine for 3 months and after an interval of 2 months, I should continue taking if there is a need to as recomended by the doctor. A bottle contains 80 pills and if I take in 3 times a day it would only last only 13 days . A bottle costs RM.119.00 .What an expensive medicine ? ( I guess I have got no choice if I want to walk as before ) . This could be due to the fact that it is manufactured by ' Rottapharm Limited ,Dublin ,Ireland . Perhaps it could be cheaper in Dublin . ( If my daughter Eileen who is studying Medicine in Dublin happens to read this blog ,perhaps she could inquire how much it cost in Dublin ).

For this year I had not performed a single tarawikh prayers in the mosque . Unlike the previous years I hardly missed a single tarawikh prayers . All because of my knee problem.I feel a bit hopeless having missed the tranquility of the prayers in the mosque . Due to that also my wife had only gone once to the mosque because she felt lost without me .Any way despite of that I had not missed my tarawikh prayers . Because I perform it after isyak prayers in my room and of course while seated on a chair .Well, as Prophet Muhammad said , if you cannot do it standing, you can sit and if you cannot sit you can do it while lying down and if you still cannot do it , do it with your eyes and even if you cannot do it , do it in your heart .This shows how important is prayers to Muslims .Normally I do not perform the witir prayers after that because I normally wake up around 3.00 am or 4.00 am to perform the Tahajjud and Hajjat prayers. After that , then only I perform the Witir prayers .

Is Doom's Day really approaching near ?

Without realising it ,today it has been 17 days now that we have been fasting during this year's Ramadhan .It also means that I have been fasting 4 times ever since I retired from my job. Wow , time runs very fast without us really realising it . This also means that age is also cathching up with me . I cannot rest on my laurels any more . I have to do whatever I am suppose to do before I could never do it .

The other day I watched a Religious ( Islam ) programme on TV whch reminded us to prepare ourselves for Doom's Day which is approaching near . Scientists have also predicted the comet is on it's way towards Earth and would collide with Earth somewhere in 2009 .The exact date ? I do not know and I do not want to know .According to the Quran Doom's Day would happen on a Firday .( Even if the prediction by the scientist is not true ,we as Muslims should be ready to face any eventualities ) .It really worries me . If this happens , it would be the end of the World . All of us would perished .According to the speaker minor Doom's Day ( Kiamat Kecil ) had actually taken place on this Earth. An example was the Tsunami which hit various parts of the world. Now, are we prepared to face God when all human beings would be awaken from death and then judged for all the wrong doings and good deeds that we have done while we were alive ? Oh , I am not . I have to fulfill my obligations to God and do good deeds to mankind as much as I can before I am ready to be judged . Oh , God please protect me from evils and guide me to the right path so that I would not only enjoy good life on this Earth but also in the life after . Please give me good health so that I could perform all my obligations fully . Please cure my knee so that I could go to the mosque to perform my obligations .

This Ramadhan we feel a bit lively especially during iftar because of the presence of my new daughter in law . Being a lady she is quite helpfull to my wife in the kitchen . She would wake up at about 4.30 am to help cook the food . At times even my wife had forgotten to wake up . Luckily my daughter in law had already prepared the food for the sahur .Otherwise we would miss the sahur and went hungry the whole day.

As for Hari Raya , we would be celebertaing it in Klang only . Perhaps we would go to JB later because on the 10th of Hari Raya we would be flying to Padang/Bukit Tinggi ,Indonesia .

We deserve a good holiday.

My left knee is getting better now ,although I am still unable to pray at the mosque because I cannot sit properly in the ' tahyat ' situation . Any way I still perform my obligations including the 'tarawikh' prayers at home . I hope I will recover completely soon . After having going through this ordeal now I realised how important is our leg , without which we would not be able to enjoy life fully. This too brings back my memory to that of a cousin of mine who is of the same age as mine and who is now bound to a wheel chair . He has been in the predicament for more than 5 years . He was a graduate teacher and has been an active person .For no obvious reasons he has to suffer that way . Well that is God's will . I invited this cousin of mine to my son's wedding recently and a few days before the wedding day he called me and told of his situation. I have not seen him for more than 20 years although we were quite close when we were young. I hope to visit him in his house in Teluk Intan one day.

Yesterday I received a call from a tennant who is renting my shop in Ampang .He told me his business was badly hurt and thus could not afford to continue renting the shop .He would be moving out at the end of December . This means I will have to find a new tennant , otherwise I would be loosing more than RM 2,000 per month . I think I will not be finding it difficult to find a new tennant as it is in a hot spot area . The only difficulty would be to find a good tennant who would be a good paymaster .The present tennant has been renting the shop from the beginning the shop was bought , that was about 15 years ago and he has been a good paymaster . According to him the building industry is badly hit by the inflation situation in this country and he has no other choice but to close shop .

From 6th.November till 9th November 2006 I and wife would be going to Bukit Tinggi, Padang,Indonesia for a short holiday. I have booked the tickets today and it has been confirmed .I think we deserve a good rest after all the hard work playing host to our son's wedding .We are not bringing anybody this time because we do not want to be disturbed .

My plan is to go to China after Hari Raya.

On 18th.September 2006 I sent my wife's car ,the Proton Kembara to my favourite workshop in Shah Alam to have the engine repaired .There was leakage either the engine oil or the gear oil. The car had to be kept overnight at the workshop for the mechanic to identify the leakage .Finally ,it was confirmed that the leakage was from the gearbox .No wonder the gear oil was almost empty. For the repair it cost me RM 768.00 . Then the mechanic pointed to me that the tyres were almost bald and told me it was dangerous especially during the rainy season . The 4 tyres cost me another RM.680.00 .All in all I had to spend RM. 1448.00 on the Kembara . What to do ? The car is a necessity and I've got no choice.It looks like I cannot keep money any more because there is always something to spend . Time is not like those days when I was still working , I always have at least RM. 10,000.00 in my current account. Luckily I have some income from rentals of my property . If I were just to depend on my pension alone I would not survive during this difficult time of inflation .

In a few days time on 24th.September 2006 we would be starting our fasting month ,Ramadhan . It would be for the first time that we are are going to fast in our new home in Klang .I hope we would fulfill our obligation to God with sincerety and with His blessings .

I am planning to go to China with my wife after the Hari Raya .The plan was postponed a number of times . I hope this time it would go through .

I am not suffering from ghout.

On 14th.September 2006 I went for my appointment with my doctor at Tanglin Clinic,Kuala Lumpur. I was surprised when the doctor told me that the pain on my left knee was not due to ' ghout ' . He told me that it could be due to the ' liquid ' in between the two knee bones was getting dry and that they were hurting each other . Any way to confirm his opnion I was sent to the X-ray Department to have my leg x-rayed . I will get to see the report only after a week.In the mean time I still feel pain on my left knee and could not walk and stand for a long time .How could this happen to me while I was such an active person before . I reckon my weight has got a part for the predicament which I am in today .I am determined to reduce my weight as advised by the doctor .It was not that I did not make any attempt to reduce my weight. Infact I tried very hard but I could not overcome my desire for food . Any way after this I should be able to overcome it .

On 16th.September 2006 although I had to walk slowly and slightly limping ,I brave myself to drive to Akademi Islam, University Malaya to attend my weekly class .I just could not afford to miss my classes .I need the knowledge and that's the place where I could get them .That day I also got my semester results . I was so happy because I passed all my papers and more so I manage to score 2 As . I am now in my final semeseter and hope I would do well in the final exams which is due to be in December .

Today is Sunday .No one is in the house except me and my wife .Feel so lonely .

Eileen is back to her campus in Dublin.

My daughter Eileen left KLIA for Dublin,Ireland at 2330 hrs 4th August 2006 .For three long months she had been relaxing too much in Malaysia .I was a bit worried because she is a Medical student overseas and yet ignored her books during that long ' hibernating period ' , a habit she could not leave . She seems to be obsessed with fun forgetting that real life is not actually like that .Friends would be around only when we are bouncing up with success and they would shun us away if we are otherwise .Therefore in order to have a sustainable long and real friendship we must first of all , ensure ourselves of a position where we would sit and stand on par with that of our friends .In other words we must first of all be a successful person so that no one would look down upon us .Although it sounds silly , but believe me that is a fact of life . Being an elder and have undergone the tribulations of this worldly life ,I can safely vouch that this fact is undeniable . Ask any man/woman of my age and who has undergone 'real' life , I can bet they would be of the same opinion as mine .

Well , now that my daughter has gone back to campus , I hope she would no more rest on her laurels but instead start cracking to regain back the lost 3 months of precious time. She must remember that she is just entering the doors to a challeging future and she should not loose her way to find the exit to success .As the old saying says ' Success does not come easy and one has to really strive to achieve it ' .

As parents I want the best for my children and I would sacrifice everything for their success .Even if God suggest that ,I would not be so successful in life ,if I want my children to be successful people , I would heed to the suggestion . All I have worked for in my life , are all for my children and I do not know what more they would ask from me.

There were times I was really hurt ( feelings ) by my children's behavior . No one knows that I was crying in my heart . I felt I had failed as a parent to educate them to be good human beings , God fearing boys and girls and children who are thankfu to their parents sacrifices .Only God knows how I felt - so hopeless . I console myslef by forgiving them and telling myself that they were still young and immature .

I love all my children. God knows that .

My son's wedding at our house in Klang - a success.

My son's wedding ceremony at our place was on 26th.August 2006 .Planning a wedding was a very hectic and worrisome one .I was worried there would be not enough guests to fill the seats ,I was also worried whether the food would be enough or not and I was worried whether the guests would be satisfied or not with our treatments and all sort of worries .

Any way on D-day ,when guests started rollng in , I began to feel confident that everything would run smoothly . The majority of my relatives I invited came. They came as far as Jerantut ,Ipoh and Teluk Intan . I was happy that they came . Friends too came as far as Kota Bahru, Muar ,Melaka and Ipoh .I was also happy and appreciated their presence .

The neighbours too including our Chinese neighbours came . Infact my immediate neighbour , a Chinese gave me a big angpow ( RM.550/- ) , the biggest given by an individual on that day.

My brother Muttakin and my wife's relatives played the major role in making the wedding a success . I am thankful to them .

But as expected , my mother , my two sisters and a brother ( Samson ) who belonged to their camp were not present . My relatives present , kept on asking me about their abscence and I tried to defend them giving excuses that they would arrive a bit late although I knew I was not telling the truth . Finally ,when I could not avoid it anymore when asked by my uncle ( my mother's brother ) I told him that my mother could not leave her cats hungry . Infact that was the reason given by her when she told me that she would not be attending the wedding when I came to see her on the 9th.August 2006 . I knew he was a bit unhappy . I was also sad and full of remorse . I did not quarrel with them and had not had a misunderstanding with them. Deep inside my heart I knew they were abscent (despite of being officially invited) because they listen to the advise of my mother who told them not to go . Believe it or not that was the situation in our family . We are now divided . We are not as before .

The wedding went well . Even one of the members of the Penang entourage commented to me that it was well organised .

I am grateful to Allah.

The wedding at the bride's place in Penang

On 19th.August 2006 we left Klang for Penang to attend my son's wedding at th bride's place. We came in 5 cars comprising of 1) me and wife and bruther in law Mahadi and wife 2) Brother in law Hassan ,wife, Pak Mail and his wife 3) En.Agos and his family 4) Brother Muttakin and his family 5) My son Azman and daughter Eileen . We reached Penang at about 3.00 pm. and checked in at the Crystal Suite ,Bayan Lepas . A long lost friend ( my former detective in Segamat ) Jamaluddin Ismail joined us .He came along with his wife ,son and daughter in law . have not met him for almost 20 years . I am thankful to my my former officer in the Narcotics Dept. in Bukit Aman ,DSP Zainal Abd.Aziz the OCPD of Serdang for helping me to trace the whereabout of this long lost friend . I am glad I could renew this frienship.

At about 5.00 pm we came to a mosque in Gelugor where the 'akad nikat' ( the solemnising of the marriage ) was to take place . There was a slight delay due to some unforeseen reasons .Any way everything went on smoothly after that .

We were then treated to a brought forward dinner at the bride's house . According to most of our entourage the curry was superb . The smell of the curry remained on our hands all day long even after it has been washed .

In the evening except for a few females who went to the bride's house to attend the ' majlis berinai' ceremony most of us did not go anywhere as we were then tired .

On 20 th.August 2006 at about 1.00 pm we checked from our rooms . We then proceeded to the bride's house for the 'majlis bersanding' . We were welcome by almost the 'mamak community' ( Indian Muslim ). Even the kompang group comprised of mamak children and the kompang songs too were very peculiar , perhaps the kompang beat were also of mamak songs. My daughter in law is not 'anak mami' . Her father and mother are Malays originally from Ulu Langat,Selangor . Her father was adopted by a mamak family from Penang . That was how she became integrated into the mamak family . Sometimes I could not believe it that I would have an extended family of mamaks . It was God's fate . We could only plan , He disposes .

The feast was a very modest one and I could understand it.They are not so well-off and I am glad that my son chose a wife not based on wealth but perhaps for true love . I know where I came from ( my parents too were not well off ) and I am glad to Allah for bestowing upon me a little bit of wealth and happiness . My religious education have always reminded me not to look down upon people who are so lucky as we are .But I hate people who are lazy and do not make any effort to help themselves .

After lunch, at about 4.30 pm we left Penang and reached home at about 8.00 pm.

On 21st.August 2006 while I was at the TESCO Klang to buy some groceries my wife called me.She was crying over the phone telling me that my brother in law Hassan had been admitted in the CCU ward at the University Hospital,P.Jaya after a heart attack while sudying at the Shah Alam Library . Immediately we drove to P.Jaya to see him at the Hospital . My sister in law Rozie ( his wife ) was not around as she was in Trengganu . We waited at the hospital for a few hours before being told by the doctor his condition was stable .We then relived and left the hospital .

For the next few days we would be very busy making preparations for my son's wedding .

My nephews and nieces ,unfairly treated.

On 9th.August 2006 we went to Sabak Bernam to visit my mother and invite her to attend my son's wedding due to be held on 26th.Augsut 2006 although I was a bit pessimistic she would attend. Lately our relationships was a bit strain due to differences of opinion . Any way as a mark of respect we came back for courtsy's sake. We stopped at Haji Latiff's house to invite him and his family too.She told us she would not be attending as she could not leave her cats hungry. (As if the cats were more important than the wedding of her grandson.)

My intention of going back was for the sole purpose of inviting my mother and nothing else. As usual she tried to take the opportunity to force me into agreeing to her ideas which I see as unfair to my brothers ( minus my sisters ) . As a mother she is not a fair mother . She has always been favouring her daughrters only. Even some of her grand children ( my brother's children ) are being deprived of her love and attention. I felt something was not right . I voiced out my feelings and she did not like it . From that time on our relationships became strain .Any way despite of that, I still came back to visit her although not as often as before .

What I did was not for my advantage .It was for the sake of my brothers and their children whom I felt have been unfairly treated . To her, her grandchildren are those only from her daughters and not from her sons . It hurt my feelings whenever she talk bad of my nephews and nieces .( My brothers children ) My brothers have been complaining to me about this and their children are not too happy to go back to our kampong .Once I told her that my daugher Eileen Farhana was going to Dublin study Medicine, she remarked " Oh , she would be touching all the dirty things of patients ". Instead of feeling proud that a member of her family for the first time was going to be a doctor ,she had that remarked. I had a shock of my life when I heard that coming from her mouth .Sometimes, I just could not believe that my mother would harbour such an attitude .Believe it or not that is the fact . Even her relationship with her only brother has also turned sour since the death of my grandmother .I do not know for what reasons . I pray to Allah that she would realised her mistakes and would turn over a new leaf .

I think I am suffering from 'ghout' .

My leg is still in pain. I still can't bent my left leg and feel pain when walking around. I begin to suspect that it is not due to the sprain . From the symptoms noticeable it could be due to 'ghout' .It was due to over consumpton of sea food . And I now remember it began from the dinner treat that my son Azman gave me on Father's Day. I ate quite a large sum of prawns on that evening . I should be careful about what I eat especially at this age . They say there is no cure to 'ghout' except to control my food . Oh what a disgusting life if I don't enjoy my food .

A sprained leg restricted my movement.

I have been having a sprained leg at the knee for the past three weeks . It all started after a morning walk at the Taman Rakyat near my home . At first I thought it was because of the seafood that I took ( because I have been suffering from a slight ghout too ) .Normally it would last about 3-5 days for it to heal after the seafood or internal organ intake . Now it is almost 3 weeks my leg does'nt seem to get better . Now I begin to suspect , it could be a sprain muscle as a result of a hard walk . I have missed by daily subuh prayers at the local mosque and I have missed my morning walk too . I begin to wonder too whether I could continue with my morning walk after this - when my sprained leg is healed .

What more in a few days I would have to drive down to Johor Bahru to send my youngest daughter Fareen to start her 2nd year University at UTM . I do know whether I could make it . I hope and pray my leg would be healed then . Any where I could take turn to drive with my wife and my other daughter Eileen who is back from Dublin for a long holiday .She came back on 6th.June 2006 and would be flying back to Dublin in early September .

After having into this predicament now I realised how important is our health ,especially the use of our leg . Without the legs our movement obviously would be restricted and would not be free to move around as we used to be . Worst still we would not be able to perfecly perform our daily obligation ( prayers ) to God .

Father's Day brings old memories of my dear father.

Father's Day 18th.June 2006 brought old memories of my dear father .Although he passed away about 6 years ago the memory seems very recent .An old fashioned ,strict father but that never meant that he loved us less . I guest I have some of his traits in me . Too careful in his spending so as to have some property left to us when he he died . I often advised him that he should not do that because we did not need that . I want him to enjoy the remnants of his life , to buy anything he liked , to dress decently and to go anywhere he loved to . But he did not heed to my advice . He did not want to depend on his children to take care of him if he would be bedridden .When he passed away he had more than RM.100,000 in Amanah Saham Bumiputra and about RM.60,000 in Tabung Haji . Besides that he left us about 20 acres of coconut plantation .He never enjoy the fruits of his labour .

I guess I have some traits of of my late father . I do not expect anything from my children .I want to have some property to back up my pension allowance . If any untoward incident happens I would be able to stand on my own feet to face it .As such like my father, I am also quite careful in my spending .

Today's Father's Day I got a treat of pizza from my son Syazirul Azman . He is the only one who seems to care and remember this old man , his father .

Thank you Azman .