I miss my dad .

It is already 15 days that we have been fasting this years Ramadhan and within 15 days we will be celeberating the Idilfitri .Unlike the previous years ,this Ramadhan I had not gone to any Pasar Ramadhan ( Ramadhan Market ), I also had not gone shopping for the Idilfitri celeberation.I do not feel the joy of going to such markets and do not feel like celeberating the Id.Most of the time there are only two of us ( or 3 if it includes our grand daughter Alisya ) in the house. The breaking of fast in our house is not as lively and cheerful as when all our children were at home .Saiful Aizad and his wife and Syazirul Azman our working sons normally reach home after the breaking of fast because more often than not they were caught in traffic jams on their way home.

Although I am not working , I feel time runs so fast that I hardly had enough time to go out window shopping or do other activities . Mind you , I also have to attend classes at the University of Malaya during week ends .Then during week days I have to do some revisions and read reference books.

I remember when I was a kid I never had the feeling of the festive celeberations.The festive days were similar as any other days .No new clothes or shoes .The only 'nice' clothes we had were just the school uniforms. The only difference was perhaps we had chicken or beef for our meals on Idilfitri's day .

We were not sad because we knew our parents could not afford to have more than that .Infact we were thankful to Allah because there were others who were worst than us .To console myself I used to tell myself that my festival would only be when I am successfull in my exams and be able to continue my studies .Luckily for me I won a scholarship (Federal Minor Scholarship ) when I was still in Form 1 .The RM 30.00 per month was enough for expenses for me to continue schooling .Otherwise I might have to quit before reaching Form 3 . After Form 5, I was again lucky to be offered a place at the College of Agriculture ( today known as Universiti Pertanian( Putra ) Malaysia),Serdang with a scholarship from the Ministry of Agriculture .

I did not depend on my old man to finance almost my entire education and that perhaps enable him to support my brothers and sisters for their education .I am not saying that I am not grateful to my old man .He had guided me on the right path , given me sound advices and a good parent .He passed away on 8th. March 2000 .I miss him . May Allah bless him and place him in Heaven . Amin .

The Carnage of Muslims by enemies of Islam.

Watched the BBC news via Astro today 26th.Oct.2004 at 2200 hrs.which showed 78 Muslims in Southern Thailand were killed by the Thai authorities after a peaceful demonstration over the arrests of 6 Muslims on suspicion of involvement with terrorist actvities .Most of them died after being arrested due to suffocation after being thrown into fully packed police / army trucks to be sent to the army camps for interrogation . Ironically it was reported earlier that only 6 people died after clashes with the security forces .

The carnage by the Thai army on Muslims especially during the fasting month of Ramadhan is too much and cannot be accepted especially by all Muslims. The Thai govt. is not sensitive to the plight of Thai Muslims of South Thailand who have been neglected for a long time .There is not much development there and the Muslims are living in poverty.

It looks like that there is a concerted effort by enemies of Islam around the world led by the Bush administration of USA , masterminded by the Jews to punish and humiliate Muslims .The Muslims are suffering in Palestine,Iraq,Afghanistan Chechnya,Kashmir,Bosnia and most recently in Southern Thailand. The excuse for their action is always - the Muslims are terrorists .Of course ,they become terrorists to defend themselves. What else can they do without any reliable arms to fight back .You don't expect them to just remain quiet, do you ?

I would like to remind all Muslims to be wary of the enemies of Islam.They may smile at us but be careful because at any time they may turn around and stab us on the backs. If you are planning for a holiday avoid Thailand ,USA ,Australia ,Singapore and of course Israel, because these countries have been known to support the US.

Let us pray to Allah for His protection from the enemies of Islam.

I pray to God for my 2 daughters.

Sunway College , Subang Jaya always remain in my memory as the place where my daughter Eileen had to slog for her A-Level Exams in order to gain a place in a medical school in UK/Ireland .Each time I pass-by I would always remember the place where every week I would pick her up or send her back to her hostel .It is a posh college which is affordable only for the elites or the rich . Admittedly ,I would not have afford to send my daughter there if it had not been for the schoolarship awarded by the Public Service Department of Malaysia .Although it is a good college ,nevertheless I was always worried during the two years she was there - worried over her studies whether she could make it with straight As in her A-Levels ( because with that result only would guarentee her a place in a medical school in the UK/Ireland ). But this daughter of mine never seems to worry at all . She kept on doing her 'routines' - visiting her friends , window shopping at Mid- Valley , chit-chatting for hours over the phone ( her own calls came up to almost RM.200.00 the last month before she left for Ireland ) . She was too close and more attched to her friends than to her own family without realizing the fact that friends are only around when we are well off and successfull ,while family/parents are always around irrespective in what situation we are in .

However I must commend her because she is an intelligent girl although a bit 'malas' . I know she is intellgent because she scored A for her Mathematics . My girl , in medical school you can't afford to be lazy any more because there are so many things to learn and to remember .You have to study hard .

( By the way Sunway College Subang Jaya is also known for the many suicidal deaths. On 18th Oct.2004 another student by the name of Khairi Nawawi , 22 years the son of a doctor from Johor Bahru was found dead at 7.15 pm after falling from the 19th floor of the hostel apartment .)

Now that she is finally in a medical school in Ireland , most of the worries are off my shoulder . However , I would be lying if I am no more worried about her . It will only be completely off my shoulder once she qualifies or graduates as a doctor. Although she is a smart lady but smartness alone cannot guarantee success . I pray to God that He will always protect her and guide her on the right path.

My youngest daughter Ezreen is following behind her sister's footsteps in the postive way . Unlike her sister she is very hard working , homely type and has few friends . Her trial SPM exams showed a remarkable improvement .She has just attended an interview for an overseas MARA scholarship . Discreetly, she also wants to be a doctor specialising in pathology . I hope and pray that she would be successful in her interview and her SPM exams and her ambition .

Our pet cat Brunny is missing from home .One morning(3 days ago) after 'sahur' (last meal before fast ) my wife let him out of the house to ease himself . From that moment onwards he was not seen.We searched everywhere but was never to be seen .He could have lost his way or eaten by the python .

My only wish - to see my chidlren achieve success.

Today is the 3rd. day of fasting this year . As a veteran I do not find any difficulty in fulfilling this obligation . Infact beasides fasting I also perform the ' tarawikh ' prayers at the mosque and followed by the ' tahajjud ' and ' hajjat ' prayers at night . I hope God will always protect us and bestow upon us wealth and happiness in this world and the world hereafter .

As a human being on this earth I am satisfied with what I have been bestowed with by God for I have almost got what I have hoped for . As a career person I got the rank that I had wanted to retire with , having a good pension , possess some property to sustain with life after my retirement so as not to lower my standard of living .I do not want to look so hopeless after retirement when I am no more earning a good salary . I planned my life when I was still young and due to my diligence , prudence and hardwork , I managed to make some profitable investments . Naturally ,I do not worry too much reaching the retirement age .

My only wish is to see my children growing up and achieving success in their pursuits for good education and to be successfull in their life . To me ,their success is very important - more than anything else .Infact , if I am given a choice, I am willing to sacrifice my career for the sake of my children's . I have reached my optimum in my life while they are just beginning and have many more long years ahead of them .

To my children I may appear too fussy because I pay too much attention and worry too much about their exams results . They should understand that what I am doing is for the good of their future .I want them to have the best in their life . They must be better off than me , then only there is success .Otherwise there is none and nothing to be proud of . Children now a days undergo such an easy life , unlike ours those days . They do not have to face hardships and poverty and as such they think everything that comes are easy and claim they have their rights to have them .They do not want to find out how their parents had to struggle from scratches till they reach their present status .I do not know whether they are thankfull to us or not .

Although I am 57 , I am not outdated . I equipt my self with knowlege especially the latest technology in the use of computers and the internets . I am not old fashioned . I keep abreast with time . I surf the internet daily and read almost all the international news online . I know what is happening not only in Malaysia but also around the world .

Besides I am also a part time Syariah Law student at the University of Malaya .

So , who dare call me an oudated person just because I am retired .

Bad week

A few days ago I received an e-mail from our daughter Eileen who is studying medicine in Ireland. The message sounds a bit nasty and being an old man of course I feel a bit hurt .It was due to my comments before she decided to move house from the UCD campus residence to a residence outside . ( Infact she had earlier requested for my comments /blessings ) . I merely asked her to consider certain things before making decision to move out . Any way I told her the final decision was hers . She is a bit hot tempered . I feel she should change her approach towards others especially if she is to become a doctor .

I do not know why this week has been a bad week for me .I also had a misunderstanding with my wife .She wanted my help but at the same time she tried to be a bit bossy .I could not accept that and we had a quarrel .Till today we have not spoken to each other .

Kangar Trip

We left Shah Alam after ' Subuh ' prayer at about 6.20 am. We stopped at Sungai Perak to refuel and to have breakfast .We continued our journey and reached Kangar at about 12.30 pm. and straight away checked in at the Putra Palace Hotel . At about 6.30 pm we left Kangar for Beseri to attend a ' hajat ' prayer organized by MRSM Beseri and the Parent Teachers Association for the success of our children in their SPM forthcoming SPM exams . We performed the ' Maghrib ' prayer , ' Hajat ' prayer , recitation of ' Yasin ' and 'doa' and finally the ' Isyak ' prayer. After that a packet of rice a piece of chicken were each given to those who attended .At about 11.00 pm we came back to our hotel followed by our daughter Ezreen Farina who is a student at MRSM Beseri . She will be sitting for her SPM in 3 weeks time.

On 9th.Oct.2004 , after breakfast at about 7.40 am we came to the State Muzium ,Kangar to attend the Convocation Ceremony of our daughter at MRSM Beseri . It was raining heavily .The convocation was officiated by the Acting Raja of Perlis and the Raja Puan Muda of Perlis .After the ceremony we were treated to a lunch .

In the evening we had our dinner at a favourite restaurant in Kangar .

On 10th.Oct.2004 at about 11.30 am we checked out from the hotel and sent our daughter back to her College .We left Kangar abt about 1.20 am. on our journey back to Shah Alam . We stopped in Sungai Petani to refuel and reached Shah Alam at about 8.40 pm .feeling exhausted .

Visiting Klang

I and wife went to Klang to inspect our new home which is being built on a piece of land which was bought from PKNS in 1998.It had been postponed many times due to administrative problems . This year ( early August ), I really made up my mind that the project has to start by hook or by crook .God willing the project is well in progress and hope it can be occupied by June or July 2005 .

While in KLang we went to the shop in town to buy a few things .As expected the prices of most things had been increased.Some of the things were not directly connected to the petrol increased price and yet the shopkeepers took the opportunity to increase the price .When confronted and asked why , they replied that all things are connected to the petrol increased price .So it is true that most people said the government is not able to control price increase spree.

We will be going to Perlis early tomorrow morning to visit our daughter who is studying at MRSM Beseri .Parents were invited to attend a 'hajat' prayer for our children's success in their SPM . It would be performed at the Beseri Mosque. We are expected to be there till Monday .

My Jottings today

I created history today because I set up my own blog today . I hope it will provide me an opportunity to express myself where so far I have been finding it difficult to do so .Sometimes I do feel very lonely now adays and I hope this blog would keep me occupied . I have been trying to write before but all failed .From today onwards there is an avenue for me to do so .I hope it would also be a source of reference for members of my family to know and understand me further.