Eileen is back to her campus in Dublin.

My daughter Eileen left KLIA for Dublin,Ireland at 2330 hrs 4th August 2006 .For three long months she had been relaxing too much in Malaysia .I was a bit worried because she is a Medical student overseas and yet ignored her books during that long ' hibernating period ' , a habit she could not leave . She seems to be obsessed with fun forgetting that real life is not actually like that .Friends would be around only when we are bouncing up with success and they would shun us away if we are otherwise .Therefore in order to have a sustainable long and real friendship we must first of all , ensure ourselves of a position where we would sit and stand on par with that of our friends .In other words we must first of all be a successful person so that no one would look down upon us .Although it sounds silly , but believe me that is a fact of life . Being an elder and have undergone the tribulations of this worldly life ,I can safely vouch that this fact is undeniable . Ask any man/woman of my age and who has undergone 'real' life , I can bet they would be of the same opinion as mine .

Well , now that my daughter has gone back to campus , I hope she would no more rest on her laurels but instead start cracking to regain back the lost 3 months of precious time. She must remember that she is just entering the doors to a challeging future and she should not loose her way to find the exit to success .As the old saying says ' Success does not come easy and one has to really strive to achieve it ' .

As parents I want the best for my children and I would sacrifice everything for their success .Even if God suggest that ,I would not be so successful in life ,if I want my children to be successful people , I would heed to the suggestion . All I have worked for in my life , are all for my children and I do not know what more they would ask from me.

There were times I was really hurt ( feelings ) by my children's behavior . No one knows that I was crying in my heart . I felt I had failed as a parent to educate them to be good human beings , God fearing boys and girls and children who are thankfu to their parents sacrifices .Only God knows how I felt - so hopeless . I console myslef by forgiving them and telling myself that they were still young and immature .

I love all my children. God knows that .

My son's wedding at our house in Klang - a success.

My son's wedding ceremony at our place was on 26th.August 2006 .Planning a wedding was a very hectic and worrisome one .I was worried there would be not enough guests to fill the seats ,I was also worried whether the food would be enough or not and I was worried whether the guests would be satisfied or not with our treatments and all sort of worries .

Any way on D-day ,when guests started rollng in , I began to feel confident that everything would run smoothly . The majority of my relatives I invited came. They came as far as Jerantut ,Ipoh and Teluk Intan . I was happy that they came . Friends too came as far as Kota Bahru, Muar ,Melaka and Ipoh .I was also happy and appreciated their presence .

The neighbours too including our Chinese neighbours came . Infact my immediate neighbour , a Chinese gave me a big angpow ( RM.550/- ) , the biggest given by an individual on that day.

My brother Muttakin and my wife's relatives played the major role in making the wedding a success . I am thankful to them .

But as expected , my mother , my two sisters and a brother ( Samson ) who belonged to their camp were not present . My relatives present , kept on asking me about their abscence and I tried to defend them giving excuses that they would arrive a bit late although I knew I was not telling the truth . Finally ,when I could not avoid it anymore when asked by my uncle ( my mother's brother ) I told him that my mother could not leave her cats hungry . Infact that was the reason given by her when she told me that she would not be attending the wedding when I came to see her on the 9th.August 2006 . I knew he was a bit unhappy . I was also sad and full of remorse . I did not quarrel with them and had not had a misunderstanding with them. Deep inside my heart I knew they were abscent (despite of being officially invited) because they listen to the advise of my mother who told them not to go . Believe it or not that was the situation in our family . We are now divided . We are not as before .

The wedding went well . Even one of the members of the Penang entourage commented to me that it was well organised .

I am grateful to Allah.

The wedding at the bride's place in Penang

On 19th.August 2006 we left Klang for Penang to attend my son's wedding at th bride's place. We came in 5 cars comprising of 1) me and wife and bruther in law Mahadi and wife 2) Brother in law Hassan ,wife, Pak Mail and his wife 3) En.Agos and his family 4) Brother Muttakin and his family 5) My son Azman and daughter Eileen . We reached Penang at about 3.00 pm. and checked in at the Crystal Suite ,Bayan Lepas . A long lost friend ( my former detective in Segamat ) Jamaluddin Ismail joined us .He came along with his wife ,son and daughter in law . have not met him for almost 20 years . I am thankful to my my former officer in the Narcotics Dept. in Bukit Aman ,DSP Zainal Abd.Aziz the OCPD of Serdang for helping me to trace the whereabout of this long lost friend . I am glad I could renew this frienship.

At about 5.00 pm we came to a mosque in Gelugor where the 'akad nikat' ( the solemnising of the marriage ) was to take place . There was a slight delay due to some unforeseen reasons .Any way everything went on smoothly after that .

We were then treated to a brought forward dinner at the bride's house . According to most of our entourage the curry was superb . The smell of the curry remained on our hands all day long even after it has been washed .

In the evening except for a few females who went to the bride's house to attend the ' majlis berinai' ceremony most of us did not go anywhere as we were then tired .

On 20 th.August 2006 at about 1.00 pm we checked from our rooms . We then proceeded to the bride's house for the 'majlis bersanding' . We were welcome by almost the 'mamak community' ( Indian Muslim ). Even the kompang group comprised of mamak children and the kompang songs too were very peculiar , perhaps the kompang beat were also of mamak songs. My daughter in law is not 'anak mami' . Her father and mother are Malays originally from Ulu Langat,Selangor . Her father was adopted by a mamak family from Penang . That was how she became integrated into the mamak family . Sometimes I could not believe it that I would have an extended family of mamaks . It was God's fate . We could only plan , He disposes .

The feast was a very modest one and I could understand it.They are not so well-off and I am glad that my son chose a wife not based on wealth but perhaps for true love . I know where I came from ( my parents too were not well off ) and I am glad to Allah for bestowing upon me a little bit of wealth and happiness . My religious education have always reminded me not to look down upon people who are so lucky as we are .But I hate people who are lazy and do not make any effort to help themselves .

After lunch, at about 4.30 pm we left Penang and reached home at about 8.00 pm.

On 21st.August 2006 while I was at the TESCO Klang to buy some groceries my wife called me.She was crying over the phone telling me that my brother in law Hassan had been admitted in the CCU ward at the University Hospital,P.Jaya after a heart attack while sudying at the Shah Alam Library . Immediately we drove to P.Jaya to see him at the Hospital . My sister in law Rozie ( his wife ) was not around as she was in Trengganu . We waited at the hospital for a few hours before being told by the doctor his condition was stable .We then relived and left the hospital .

For the next few days we would be very busy making preparations for my son's wedding .

My nephews and nieces ,unfairly treated.

On 9th.August 2006 we went to Sabak Bernam to visit my mother and invite her to attend my son's wedding due to be held on 26th.Augsut 2006 although I was a bit pessimistic she would attend. Lately our relationships was a bit strain due to differences of opinion . Any way as a mark of respect we came back for courtsy's sake. We stopped at Haji Latiff's house to invite him and his family too.She told us she would not be attending as she could not leave her cats hungry. (As if the cats were more important than the wedding of her grandson.)

My intention of going back was for the sole purpose of inviting my mother and nothing else. As usual she tried to take the opportunity to force me into agreeing to her ideas which I see as unfair to my brothers ( minus my sisters ) . As a mother she is not a fair mother . She has always been favouring her daughrters only. Even some of her grand children ( my brother's children ) are being deprived of her love and attention. I felt something was not right . I voiced out my feelings and she did not like it . From that time on our relationships became strain .Any way despite of that, I still came back to visit her although not as often as before .

What I did was not for my advantage .It was for the sake of my brothers and their children whom I felt have been unfairly treated . To her, her grandchildren are those only from her daughters and not from her sons . It hurt my feelings whenever she talk bad of my nephews and nieces .( My brothers children ) My brothers have been complaining to me about this and their children are not too happy to go back to our kampong .Once I told her that my daugher Eileen Farhana was going to Dublin study Medicine, she remarked " Oh , she would be touching all the dirty things of patients ". Instead of feeling proud that a member of her family for the first time was going to be a doctor ,she had that remarked. I had a shock of my life when I heard that coming from her mouth .Sometimes, I just could not believe that my mother would harbour such an attitude .Believe it or not that is the fact . Even her relationship with her only brother has also turned sour since the death of my grandmother .I do not know for what reasons . I pray to Allah that she would realised her mistakes and would turn over a new leaf .

I think I am suffering from 'ghout' .

My leg is still in pain. I still can't bent my left leg and feel pain when walking around. I begin to suspect that it is not due to the sprain . From the symptoms noticeable it could be due to 'ghout' .It was due to over consumpton of sea food . And I now remember it began from the dinner treat that my son Azman gave me on Father's Day. I ate quite a large sum of prawns on that evening . I should be careful about what I eat especially at this age . They say there is no cure to 'ghout' except to control my food . Oh what a disgusting life if I don't enjoy my food .

A sprained leg restricted my movement.

I have been having a sprained leg at the knee for the past three weeks . It all started after a morning walk at the Taman Rakyat near my home . At first I thought it was because of the seafood that I took ( because I have been suffering from a slight ghout too ) .Normally it would last about 3-5 days for it to heal after the seafood or internal organ intake . Now it is almost 3 weeks my leg does'nt seem to get better . Now I begin to suspect , it could be a sprain muscle as a result of a hard walk . I have missed by daily subuh prayers at the local mosque and I have missed my morning walk too . I begin to wonder too whether I could continue with my morning walk after this - when my sprained leg is healed .

What more in a few days I would have to drive down to Johor Bahru to send my youngest daughter Fareen to start her 2nd year University at UTM . I do know whether I could make it . I hope and pray my leg would be healed then . Any where I could take turn to drive with my wife and my other daughter Eileen who is back from Dublin for a long holiday .She came back on 6th.June 2006 and would be flying back to Dublin in early September .

After having into this predicament now I realised how important is our health ,especially the use of our leg . Without the legs our movement obviously would be restricted and would not be free to move around as we used to be . Worst still we would not be able to perfecly perform our daily obligation ( prayers ) to God .

Father's Day brings old memories of my dear father.

Father's Day 18th.June 2006 brought old memories of my dear father .Although he passed away about 6 years ago the memory seems very recent .An old fashioned ,strict father but that never meant that he loved us less . I guest I have some of his traits in me . Too careful in his spending so as to have some property left to us when he he died . I often advised him that he should not do that because we did not need that . I want him to enjoy the remnants of his life , to buy anything he liked , to dress decently and to go anywhere he loved to . But he did not heed to my advice . He did not want to depend on his children to take care of him if he would be bedridden .When he passed away he had more than RM.100,000 in Amanah Saham Bumiputra and about RM.60,000 in Tabung Haji . Besides that he left us about 20 acres of coconut plantation .He never enjoy the fruits of his labour .

I guess I have some traits of of my late father . I do not expect anything from my children .I want to have some property to back up my pension allowance . If any untoward incident happens I would be able to stand on my own feet to face it .As such like my father, I am also quite careful in my spending .

Today's Father's Day I got a treat of pizza from my son Syazirul Azman . He is the only one who seems to care and remember this old man , his father .

Thank you Azman .

Wedding feast at Kg.Perak,Jerantut .

On 2nd.June 2006 (Friday) we left home and proceeded to Jerantut, Pahang to attend my cousin's daughter's wedding . The wedding was not so much in my mind but the opportunity to meet my cousin sister whom I have not seen for almost 50 years was the real agenda. I have not been to Jerantut either and so the trip was treated like a holiday for the 3 of us ( my wife and daughter Farin and myself ) .We took the highway road KL-Kuantan and exit at Chenor to proceed via Pusat Bandar Jengka . Jengka is synonimous with Felda and so the oil palm plantations . All along the road from Chenor to Jerantut were full of oil palm trees .There was hardly any village seen . Pusat Bandar Jengka was a small sleepy new township . Nothing much to be seen in this town except that there was a UiTM branch campus . My wife quipped that if any of our chidren were offered a place at the UiTM campus in Jengka she would have rejected the offer . It is too far away and so secluded from the hustle and bustle of the city . When we reached Jerantut it was about 2.30 pm .We stopped to inquire where was Kg.Perak , the village where my cousin sister lived .We wanted to recky the place so that it would be easier for us to locate the house when we go there the next day for the wedding .Surprisingly no body seems to know where Kg.Perak was . Obviously it was quite far away from Jerantut town . We then took the Jerantut-Maran road to search for Kg.Perak . It was a lonely winding road . I wonder why my cousin sister and her husband could have gone to such a place to live , a very backward place while their former place was already developed . Just imagine 50 years ago it was very much backward than today . It then struck my mind that they could be looking for some land for farming . The mentality of the Banjarees people then was, if you have more farm land , it would guarantee your family of prosperity .( Since they did not inherit much from their parents ,they decided to open up new land in the jungles of central Pahang) . After stopping a number of times to make inquiries finally we reached the destination , Kg.Perak . As the name denotes almost all the people who lived there were orginally from Perak . There were only about 10-15 houses in the village and not much people living there .We saw some people doing the ' gotong royong' preparing for the feast . We did not stop and we turned back towards Jerantut to search for a place to stay for the night .We came to Tekam Village Resort not far away but unluckily the place was fully booked . We were recommended the Mercu View Resort at Bandar Pusat Jengkas , about 17 KM away .This means we had to turn back to Jengka . We reached the resort at about 4.30 pm . The hotel rooms were fully booked and we had no choice but to be satisfied with the chalet . Wasn't it amazing to find out that at such an 'ulu' place like this , all the hotel rooms were fully booked ? I was told by the receptionist that most of the people who stayed there that day were attending a wedding in the Jengka area .

The next day at about 11.30 am we checked out from the resort and proceeded to my cousin sister's house . There were about 50-60 people in attendance . Might be that was the standard of people who normally attend the wedding feast there. On reaching the house I met a cousin brother from Shah Alam who was also to attend the wedding. After that I was ushered to have my lunch inside a dining hall . The ladies were separated from the men . While having lunch I spoke to some people there and from our conversation I knew that the majority of the people living in the village were Banjarees and were originally from Perak . They came there to open up new land for farming. While having lunch I saw a medium sized lady whom I suspect to be my cousin sister . Before approaching her I asked from some people around if she was the host . After having confirmed of her identity ,I approached her and introduced myself . Obviously she could not recognised me . Once she recognised me, she began to tell of our past history to the ladies nearby . She had lost her youthfullness and were already ageing . Any way I am satisfied that I have met her . I then introduced her to my wife and my daughter ,Farin . Then I went to seen my cousin sister's husband in his room as he was already unable to walk . From far I could recognise his face. He has put up some weight .We chatted for some time of our past history .The house in which they were living was also a Madrasah( school /surau ) where my cousin's husband taught the Quran and matters on religion to the people living there , since he was also an Ustaz ,Ustaz Abas.There I also met my cousins Hasan and Kamal both of them from the Kuala Lumpur and Klang respectively . I also met some people who came from as far as Batu Pahat . They were close relatives of Ustaz Abas .

At about 1.30 pm I bid farewell and goodbye to them while wondering when we could meet again . The journey home was without any hitch and reached home safely at about 5.00 pm . In the evening the three of us suffered purging / stomach poisoning and were almost bound to our toilets till morning with little sleep . What a pity ?

Tragedy strike Indoneasia again .

Just a couple of months ago tsunami rampaged North Sumatra killing more than 100,000 lives .Tragedy struck Indonesia again . This time the earth quake which till now had taken away more than 3,000 lives . It was earlier forcasted that the Merapi Volcano in Central Java would erupt , but who knows instead , the earthquake that struck first. It is all the work of God and nobody could stop that. It is not that God like to punish but it is all 'qadak and qadhar ' There could be a 'hikmah' out of that tragedy .

Coming to think of it how lucky we are that we do not have to bear with any disaster in this country . Ours is also a problem that is , facing with rising cost of living . I guess Indonesians too are also having the same problem . Theirs is worst still with the disaster . They have been having constant threats of the disaster so much so that they couldn't care less about it any more .They just leave everything to God -' whatever will be ,the future not for us to see keseirra-serra . ' as one of the favourite songs of the 70s says .

' Alfatehah ' to the dead and hope they would rest in peace and be among the faithfuls who are blessed by Allah . Amin .

Today we attended two weddings at a stretch . One was just a few houses away from us while the other about a kilometer from our house . At the second house I met a number of old colleagues while we were in the Royal Malaysia Police . Thus we renewed our friendships whom would have been lost forever . It brought back old memories of yester years . How grateful I am to meet them ,otherwise I would have been very lonely . All of us are ageing now and the reunion was such a thing that we need so much . I am compiling the list of old collegues and planning for a reunion at my house .

Next week we are going to Jerantut , Pahang to attend the wedding of my cousin sister's daughter . I have not met this cousin sister for almost 50 years . I am looking forward to see this cousin sister because she was the one who tended to my needs when I was in Primary School .She was just about 3 years my senior . When I was in primary school she was the one who bought food and drinks for me during recess time . She was also some sort of a protector for me from the school bullies . We used to play hide and seek and other games and after a tiring game she would pluck young coconuts to refresh ourselves . Thus I am grateful to her .She migrated to Jerantut Pahang after her marriage and after falling out of favour from her mother ( her mother remarried her own uncle ) , although her husband was also from Perak . Any way her mother had passed away .

TNB electricity price hike , a heavy burden to fixed income people.

Beginning 1st.June ,Malaysians would have to fork in more from their pockets to pay for the increasing electricity bills . Another burden the people to shoulder not long after the recent fuel price hike .Yesterday the government announced a whorping price hike of almost 12% of electricity tarrifs . It was only a few days after the Sarawak Election where the BN government was returned with a comfortable more than 2/3 majority , although it loss 9 seats to the opposition . It has been anticipated that the government would announce the price hike after the Sarawak Election . This is the price the people of Sarawak and Malaysians have to pay for allowing the BN to return to power . The electricity price hikes would definitely lead to another inflation to the economy and would affect consumers . The government was naive when it stated that the price hike would not affect the lower income people . As a result of the price hike the price consumer goods would increase and and the entire population would have to bear with it .Analyst said that al least a 10% increase in consumer goods and services is expected . Stop treating the people as if they are so stupid as not to know simple economics .

What I cannot understand is that TNB has been making profits year after year .As a result of the fuel price hike it had only reduce it's profits by an insignificant margin . What is TNB trying to proof ? After all it is a government company and so it belongs to the people too .

Fixed income people like me would have to tighten the already tightened belts .Life is no easier as I had earlier expected . Datuk Sri Najib , the DPM told us to change our life style . What life style he expect us to lead when we are already living without a style ? It is easy said than done especially when he is earning 10-20 times more than us .

I thought I could enjoy my retirement for the rest of my remaining years . Now it looks like that I am not enjoying al all , except worries over how to cope up wih tomorrow .

Today I had the opportunity to watch the much publicised film entitled ' The Devinci Code' at one of the cineplex at Bukit Raja shopping complex . It was a very enlightening film especially to us non Christians . The film obviously denigrate the Christian religion . Whether we like it or not it also affect us Muslims because Jesus or Isa is one of the Prophets that we Muslims respect very much .The film showed us that Jesus Christ was just an ordinary human being and thus it is impossible that he is the son of God as claimed by the Christians . It was a good film and I do not mind going for a second show .

Is the Law only applicable to the lower echolon of the society ?

What happened in the Malayasian Parliament recently was something we Malaysians should be ashamed of. This so called MP for Jasin lately had been vocal on government servants actions especially of the Royal Customs and Excise Department .We all thought he was sincere in his comments .It came out to be that he had a hidden agenda against the Department . We also thought he was a sincere hardworking MP but far from that he is a person who should not be trusted . It seems that apart from being an MP he was also doing business as a forwarding agent for the import of smuggled timber logs from indonesia .( Indonesia bans the export of timber ) .When the Customs took action against his company for contravening the Customs Act , he approached the Customs officers and told them to close one eye on the case . When the Customs Department refused to kowtow to his request he lambasted the Customs Department in Parliment for being ineffective and etc. ( It is now revealed that his company ,Binyu Sof Enterprise was caught 14 times for the same offence and each time was compounded by the Customs ) .It so happened , his episodes with the Customs came to the knowledge of reporters from the the New Straits Times and it was published as a hot topic of news . When asked to comment on the matter Dato Mohd.Said b. Mohd.Yusof ,the Jasin MP explained that he was merely bringing the grouses of a bumiputra importer whose timber was seized by the Customs Department . Later it was revealed that he was not telling the truth . Infact he admitted at a press conference held outside Parliment that the so called bumiputra importer was he himself .The opposition leader in Parliment Mr.Lim Kit Siang took the opportunity to table a motion to bring the Jasin MP to face a Parlimentary Disciplinary commitee for misleading the public and bringing disrepute to Parliment. His motion was however supported by Dato Shahrir Abdl Samad MP for Johor Baru and also the Back Becnchers Club Chairman who through his conscience felt that it was the right thing to do but unfortunately without the support of his members .Feeling agitated and ashamed for the members of BBC , Dato Shahrir left the House and tendered his resignation as Chairman of the Back Benchers Club .
When asked during his arrival at KLIA from Jamaica PM Abdullah Badawi supported the action of Dato Shahrir . Surprisingly the next day there was a twist of the turn when the PM announced that Dato Shahrir was wrong . Obviously he made the decision after hearing the briefing from his Deputy ,Dato Sri Najib Tun Razak .Worst still no action was to be taken against Dato Mohd Said due to the fact that the motion was rejected by Parliment and instead Dato Shahrir would have to face an UMNO/BN Disciplinary Committee for supporting an oppostion motion . He also revealed that that the BN had made the decision that it's MPs should not support any motion of the opposition .
What sort of leadership our country is having ? What sort of transparency that he was bragging about ? No wonder Dr.Mahathir was not very happy with what is going on in the country . BN leaders used to say that the opposition would oppose everything the government does even if it is good for the people and yet when Dato Shahrir supported a good motion of the opposition ,he was penalised .The government is obviously not doing according to what it is preaching.
In the first place the Jasin MP had obviously committed an offence under the Corruption Act for interfering with the Customs Department's work , the same so called offence commtted by the former Deputy Prime Minister Dato Sri Anwar Ibrahim for interfering with the Police work . If Anwar Ibrahim was charged for the offence ,why is the Jasin MP being spared ? Where is the talk about transparency and eradicating corruption in this country ? Or is the law only applicable to the lower echolon of the society while those in the upper echolon could do whatever they want ?

Quick JB trip.

On Friday 27thApril 2006 we went to JB to pick up our daughter Fareen from UTM .She would be starting her semester holidays for more than 2 months . On 29th April 2006 she would be sitting for her MUET exams at the Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Seksyen 9,Shah Alam . Our grand daughter Alisya followed us to JB. We reached JB at about 7.20 pm and put up a night at my mother in laws place .

We did not have enough time visiting relatives as we had to come back to Klang before 29th.April .

We left JB at about 2.00 pm .After picking up Fareen at UTM we proceeded to come back to Klang .We reached home at about 7.30 pm .

The next morning we sent Fareen to her MUET centre at Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan,Seksyen 9,Shah Alam .She was there from 7.30 am till 1.00pm .

A wedding reception fit for the very rich.

Last night we attended a wedding reception at the Concorde Hotel, Shah Alam. It was hosted by my wife's distant relative who happens to be staying in Taman Sri Andalas ,Klang .Well since it was held at the hotel ,it was quite a lively one . The place was superb but the food was not as good and abundant as if we are to have it at our own home .I feel it is not worth it for the price of RM.68.00 per head .If it is for 500 people ( 50 tables x 10 for a table )it would cost RM.34,000/-. If one is very rich then it should be alright , but what if it is a hard-earned money , would you simply want to throw it away within a few hours ? Or if it is borrowed money wouldn't you find it difficult later to repay back the loan ? Just for the sake of glamour and praises from some , you would put yourself in an embarrasing situation after that .Is it worth it ? Worst still if the marriage does not last long .According to Syariah the purpose of the wedding reception is to announce to the public that our daughter is married and one should not make any more proposal to her . A modest feast can be made for friends and neighbours to mark the occassion . It is also an occassion for us to renew our friendships. There should not be any extravagent spending for the purpose .Having said that , does not mean I am totally against the idea of having a wedding reception in a hotel . If I have the extra bounty which I want to share with other people , I would also have it there . Why not ? It all depends on our own situation .Any way that would be my last choice because I would prefer to have more people to have a share of it .

At the end of the reception I met two friends , former sub-ordinate officers with whom I had worked with once , in Klang .One of them is now retired while the other is doing his Masters at UKM . They are staying in the same Taman not far away from our house in Klang .There you are , I have just renewed my friendships with two of my old colleagues .

We came back home at about 11.20 pm .

We do not know what is in store for us in the future. Only God decides .

It has been more than 3 months ( to be exact 105 days from 2nd.January 2006 ) now that we are living in Klang.We are adapting ourselves to this place and I feel not much different from that of Shah Alam.Life as a retiree is still lonely , without much contact with the outside world. Even friends are shying away from us except for the very few special ones .But because most of them are also old and getting worn out ,they too are less to be seen .I guess that is what life is all about .Once you are old and cosidered less useful to society you are slowly discarded from them .But I am determined that I do not belong to that category . I believe I still can be useful although perhaps to a different set of the society .I hope I can be of use to the spiritually minded society .I am working towards that . Once I complete my Pengajian al Quran at the University of Malaya I hope I would be able to teach the young kids around the neighbourhood to read the Quran . May be this is the last I could do to serve society . I may even volunteer myself to teach in the third world countries such as Cambodia and Vietnam etc . Infact I have registered myself with the United Nations via the internet to be a prospective volunteer worker .

Yesterday we went to Yassin's ( my cousin ) house in Sec.23 Shah Alam for a normal visit since he has been inviting us many times to see his new house .When we arrived he was not in .His daughter told us that Yassin's mother ( my auntie ) from Sungai Besar was in.She was there for a day's visit . So I decided to come in and saw my auntie .She was lying in bed because she had a stroke about 3 years ago and ever since has been confined to her bed .Oh God , please don't let that happen to me or to any member of my family . It must have been hell for her to be confined in bed as a result of the stroke . It must have been hell too for the person who is taking care of her daily needs .Even during that short visit, she was complaining about the ill-treatment that she received from her daughter with whom she is living in Sungai Besar and who is taking care of her .Her other children refuse to take care of her giving excuses that they are working and having no time to tend to her needs .What a lame excuse ! As I said earlier once you are old and more so become a burden to others , no one would want to be associated with you .Even your children would refuse to take care of you .I do not want to be a burden to my children either and would rather die than suffer like my auntie .Well as the Quran says only God decides on ' qadak ' and ' qadar ' .We do not know what is in store for us in the future .We , His servants could only pray for his blessings .

From Shah Alam we proceeded to Sungai Buloh to buy some grass to be planted on the coumpound of our house .We decided to do it ourselves instead of asking somebody else .It is much much cheaper to do it ourselves .The 'snake' Indians would charge us a few thousand ringgits when in actual fact it would only cost a few hundreds .( We were once cheated by these snakes ) .I still remember when I was in secondary school ,we were told of an English proverb that says ,' If you see an Indian and a snake , you must kill the Indian first before you kill the snake ' , which only shows that the Indian is more dangerous than the snake . In other words never trust an Indian .Well , I hope not all Indians are like that .

We came back with our ' kembara ' laden with grass , soil and fertilizers .I had to be extra careful driving home because the ' kembara ' was almost overloaded . Any way we reached home safe and sound although I almost had a bad cram in my right leg .

We could only plan but He ( Allah ) disposes .

Yesterday 29th.of March 2006 I attended an appointment with my personal doctor at the Tanglin Clinic , an outpatient division of the General Hopital ,Kuala Lumpur.I was surprised when told that apart from suffering hypertension I also have a slight diabetis. The doctor asked me to reduce my weight as a preventive measure .I am really worried because I have tried all means to reduce my weight and all failed . No wonder of late I always feel tired and having pains in my joints . Any way the doctor told me that since my last appointment with him 3 months ago , my weight had reduced by 2 kgs. Now , that news was a bit comforting .That was perhaps because lately I have been jogging at the Taman Rakyat Sri Andalas ever since we moved in to this new place .Nonetheless ,he still referred me to a dietician for councelling . My appointment date would be on 4th April 2006 .

The people of Klang especially the Chinese are very health concious . I could see hundreds of cars parked around Taman Rakyat every morning .They jog almost every morning and it looks as if they are having a fiesta in that area .They are in groups some doing aerobic , some dancing ,some doing the taichee and etc. Do not want to be left behind , I ( tumpang semangkok ) join them .Our new house is very convenient for that purpose because I just could walk from our house without having to drive to the place . I hope I would continue jogging until I could really reduce my weight .

Since moving to Klang ,I have been making habits to pray every subuh prayers at the mosque nearby .I have found solace and could put my total concentration in my prayers .After my prayers I normally come home for a small breakfast before sending our grand daughter Alisya to school. It was agreed upon between me and my wife that I would send and pick Alisya to the morning school and she would send and pick her to the afternoon school .( Alisya is also attending Sekolah Agama situated not far from the mosque in the afternoon ).Only after sending Alisya to school that I could go for my jogging which normally would last for about an hour .I would sweat heavily after that .

My life now is very routine . Sometimes I get bored too and wanted a break from home . But situations do not permit me to go because there are still unfinish businesses to settle . Soon Azman our second son would be getting married .It is not an easy task .The preparation has to start from now . The schedule is August 2006 and it is not a long way to go .It is not fare for me to leave everything to my wife to handle.

It looks like I have to postpone again my intention of going to the exotic places .Well, that is life . We could only plan but He ( Allah )disposes .

The internet is accessible from our new house today

At last today the 23rd.of March 2006 , the internet access is made possible from our new house in Klang .For the past 3 months or so each time I wanted to surf the internet I had to go to our old house in Shah Alam.It took almost a month for the Telecoms to make the internet accessable from our new house .Even that I myself had to make complaints to the Telecomes head office in Kuala Lumpur .It took me only 2 days to make that possible .The application was actually made by our son Syazirul Azman .Being an ex Telecomes subsidiary staff I thought he could handle everyhthing . Being an ex Police officer ,I hate to delay things .I want fast action and do not want to cause inconvenience to the public .To hasten actions I had to be blunt to them . That was my style and it remains so .Any way everything is okay and I am back to my computer to fill my past time as a retiree .

For the past 3 months I felt handicapped being denied the use of the computer .From now on I can get back to read the latest news from Independent news medias throught out the world.I also can access to knowledge and informations .

8th.of March will always be in my mind .

8th.March is a date that I will never forget till the end of my life .Do you know why ? That was the day when my beloved father passed away. He died after a long illness suffering from the slow killer - deadly disease called ' Parkinson ' . He was suffering from that desease for a number of years without knowing it . He went to the local clinic and the stupid doctor there simply gave him a different medicine or perhaps just a pain killer instead of referring him to a specialist . It was only when I brought him to a specialist in Kuala Lumpur that I knew he was suffering from ' Parkinson ' . He was diagnosed with it and given medicine and periodically had to go for medical check up in Kuala Lumpur. Unfortunately my mother perhaps after listening to some stupid advice from her sister-in law ( my father's sister ), persuaded my father not to take the medicine so as not to be ( so called ) dependent on them .Infact at times she even hid his medicine away from him . Because of the irregular medicine intake , my father 's condition worsen .He was admitted to the Universiti Kebangsaan Hospital in Cheras, but it was then already too late . I was then working as the OCPD of Port Dickson and had to rush up and down between KL - PD . Before his death he was brought to my sister's house Fadzilah in Sunway Garden,Petaling Jaya . I could still remember before his last breath he asked for me as if he wanted to tell me something . I came nearer and told him that I was near him .But he was unable to say anything . Till today I am still wondering what he was trying to tell me .Perhaps he just wanted to tell me to take charge of the family . However , if that was what he meant, " I am sorry dad , I have failed you . I just could not control the ship if it has two captains . Each time I try to steer the ship to it's course , the other captain would do the other way . If that is the situation how am I going to take charge of the ship ( family ). Rather than commiting further sins I might as well give up .I am sorry dad .It is not within my means ." You all might wonder who is the other captain ? I am not going to reveal this .God knows most .

If only I could be with him again , I would give him the best that I could afford .My regret is only that he was unable to witness the succeses of my children . I knew he wanted so much that one of his children would become a doctor .He did mention to me that my cousin's daughter was a dentist and indirectly he wished that his offsprings too could be one . I hope my daughter Eileen would not fail his wishes .

Although my dad was a stern man , but I knew he loved us all .I really respect his grit , hard work and dedication to bring us up . As a mark of respect to my late father , I built my new house with dedication to my late father . I pray to Allah that he would rest in peace and be amongst the faithfuls in Heaven .Amin .

A hefty price hike of petrol drives fixed income people crazy .

I have not been writing in this column for quite some time because I was then busy after we moved in to our new house. So many things to be done and the internet is still not made available there yet. Each time I want to read my e-mail ,I have to come to our old home in Shah Alam .As such I hardly have enough time to think and to write. Today , immediately after my classes at University Malaya , I drop over in Shah Alam to find time to write .

Last week on the 25th.February 2006 we had our joint house warming / Alisya's Birthday party at our new house . It was attended by about 100 people comprising of our old neighbours in Shah Alam , new neighbours , friends and relatives and also Alisya's friends . There were sumptious food like satay , mee curry ,ketupat ,roti jala and the kuehs wich we ordered from the local supplier . Alisya collected a large collection of presents including a bicycle which I bought for her .She was so happy .Unfortunately I had forgotten to take pictures of her cutting the cake .

That night we had a great shock because some parts Shah Alam was badly flooded. Worst hit were places like Taman TTDI , Seksyen 13 including Giant ,Makro ,stadium icluding Alisya's apartment . Aizad's new car - Proton Gen 2 was half submerged and had to be towed to the workshop for repairs .( Till date his car is still not ready ).About 2,000 people had to be evacuated . The Menteri Besar of Selangor dared not show his face for fear of being booeed by the angry residents . He was so anxious to declare Selangor as a ' Negeri Maju ' , but it's residendents still have to face with the floods - what a shame .

On 1st.Match 2006 the so called people friendly government announced a hefty price hike of petrol ,diesel and gas . Petrol was increased 30 sens per litre and this would really burden the people .Not only that , because as usual the increase in price of petrol would be followed by the increase in price of food items . Economists predicted that the inflation rate in this country this year would go up as high as 30% . Fixed income people especially pensioners like me would be worst hit . We would have to tighten our belts or else we would end up diluting our savings or worst still we would be at the mercy of the loan sharks . What most Malaysians do not understand is that Malaysia is an exporter of oil and yet we have to pay very high for it. To pacify the people the governemnt would always compare the price of oil in Singapore and Thailand whose per capita income is much higher than us. What a stupid comparison .The fact is the government has been wasting alot of money unnecesarily . New roads and bridges has been found to be cracking and had to be repaired using the rakyat's coffers . Government's agencies like MAS, Bank Islam and many more are suffering a deficit and and is on the verge of bankruptcy. They are being rescued using the rakyat's coffers . Where are all the money has gone to ? Definitely into some one's pocket . Now is it fair for the rakyat to bear it too ??? I am fed up talking about this because it will never end even till the cows come home .

I thouight I could retire in peace and to enjoy my pensions .But it looks like I would have to find employment to suppliment my income .

Wake up man, wake up from your fantasies .Our future is at stake .

My wife have been complaining that she find it difficult to purchase 'Time Kontact' card from the regular Indian shop that she use to purchase. She has also been scouting round to all the 7 Eleven outlets in Shah Alam and also of no avail .She need the card to have a cheaper phone rate when phoning our daughter who is studying in Dublin . At first I didn't pay much attention to her complaints .But then when I realised that she has not been in contact with our daughter for some time , I began to search for the card . I contacted Time.Com HQ office and they told me to go to the BP stations . So I went to all the BP stations in KLang and Shah Alam and failed to get one .Not only that , they told me that they have ceased to be a dealer .That's funny .

This morning I saw a front page advertisement in The Star of Time Kontact which offer super low rate till the end of February 2006 . That is even funny ?? So I contacted Time.Com HQ and made my complaints . Their own Customer Service Officer made calls to these outlets and proved it was true that the cards are not in the market .The officer then called me to go a 7 Eleven outlet in Seksyen 24, Shah Alam . As we were on our way to Shah Alam we stopped at the 7 Eleven . To our amazement we were told by the shopkeeper that he had the last card and even that it was just for RM.20.00 .We inquired if there would be any more cards in the future and he told us no more . For what reason , he never told us . This is weird ??

I was thinking to myself no wonder most of the Bumiputra companies in our country goes bankrupt . Bank Islam , MAS , Metramac and many more are on the verge of bankrupt . Why ?? Definitely there are flaws going on in the organisations . The 'big' officers/managers only sits in their porch offices . They do not know what is going on in the market . There could be some sabotage from within which they fail to detect. When the Malays are going to realise that the community's future is at stake ? Most of of them are living in fantasies . Perhaps they have been watching too much of TV3's Akademi Fantasia that their lives are so engrossed in fantasies . Wake up man , wake up from your sleep and work hard , not only for you but for the community . We would end up beggars in our own country if we are not careful. Look at the other communities , they are forging forward silently without us realizing that .I was so sad till I did not realize that a few drops of my tears fell on my lap-top . If only the Malays work had as I did for almost 33 years , how nice the Malays would be in 10-20 years time .I am not bragging about myself but it was a fact that I slogged for 33 years to get what I got today - from a poor helpless kampong boy to be what I am today is not an easy feat .I did not say that . Some of my kampong mates said that each time I met them .I managed to struggle out from the poverty bracket .

It is our holy duty to protect Islam .

Last night my wife and me attended a kenduri ' bercukur rambut ' of the grand child of our front neighbour at Taman Sri Andalas ,Klang . It was quite a grand feast attended by about 50 people including the imam of the mosque from the neighbourhood .We had the opportunity to know these people .Most of them were quite friendly except for one or two .Normal behaviors of the Malays who are not happy with other people who are getting more prosperous than them.
I sat for my last paper of my Quranic studies at the University Malaya this afternoon . I feel quite confident that I would clear all papers . I' ll have a long holiday after this ( till 28th.Feb.) and hope to go for a short holiday . I do know whether I can make it this time because we have yet to fully settled in our new place .
Off late I have been very angry and feel disgusted with the behavior of the non-Malays especially the Indians in this country .Their NGOs and their political figures have been getting overboard by demanding that the Perkara 121 (A) of the Federal Constitution be ammended so that the Syariah Court would ceased to have any power and thereby being subjected to the Civil Courts .All because of one individual by the name of Moorthy or Muhammad b. Abdullah who converted to Islam before his death .The conversion was rejected by his wife and family.There was a dispute over who would bury the deceased .The Syariah Court finally mad the decision that he deserved a Muslim burial .Unsatisfied ,the wife applied to the Civil Court for a decision but the Civil Court made a ruling that it has no jurisdiction over the matter.As it is today the Syariah Court has its own sanctity and that they are not subjected to the Civil Courts . This should remain so depicting the special place of Islam in this country as the official religion of the nation . Culminating from the above scenario ,10 non Muslim Ministers of the Federal government of the PM sent a memorandom to the the Prime Minister demanding the Constitution be ammended . As usual the feeble ,boneless and weak Najib ,DPM almost succumb to the demand by announcing that the Constitution would be ammended . ( if this man becomes PM ,he would sell the Malays stock and barrel including himself to the non Malays ). Luckily , the PM was quick and firm when he announced that the Constitution would NOT be ammended. Subsequantly , the 10 non Malay ministers withdrew the memorandom .
As Muslims it is our holy duty to defend the sanctity of our religion for the well being of our future generation . Do not being selfish by having an attitude that that is not for us to care and leave everything to the politicians . If we have good and resposible politicians , well and good . What if we have those who only thinks of enriching themselves only, then we are in for trouble ?

Back to Shah Alam to check my e-mails.

I returned to Shah Alam this morning to settle some bills at the banks and Celcom here. I am taking the opportunity to check on my e-mails .Wow , ther were more than hundreds of unread mails .Any way most of them were junk mails .

I have just loaded on to my 4 wheeled vehicle some things required at our new house . Imagine , I was all alone doing that. So exhausted and tired till I almost collapse .Any way being trained to experience challenges ,I manage to overcome all that .Even though I am almost 60 , I am still strong as a bull .Any way frankly , I noticed the difference in my strength lately . I am not the usual I was who use to be so tough .

Recently an old friend from Klang whom I knew when he was still a kid ( today he is an up and coming successful businessman ) , offered me a 50% share in his company . Since I knew him for a long time - infact I was the one who use to advise and guide him , he seems very sincere in offering me the business partnership .Although , I can survive without getting involve into any business , I reluctantly accepted his offer for the sake of filling up my free time and to help my partner run the business .Our business involves the pruchase of vehicles from the banks and insurance companies which they are selling at much below the market price .We would then do just a little bit of touch up before they are sold to the second hand car dealers or any prospective buyers .

Well ,I am getting hungry and there is nothing edible in this house. It is almost 2.30 pm. , I have to go back to Klang to have my lunch .

Getting use to life in Klang.

We are now settled in Klang .I am sure my wife and our grand daughter Alisya are happy too living in our new house .Every time we came back to Shah Alam we brought more of our belongings to Klang .We also bought new things to the new house such as the couch and the book shelves . Soon it would be filled up . Slowly I am getting use to the new place .The telephone and the astro aerial has yet to be fixed to our new house .For the time being we are watching the small TV which can be made possible via the internal aerial .Any way we do not have much time to watch TV . My only regret is that I am unable to surf the internet .Each time I want to do so I have to come back to Shah Alam .Any way this will not be for long because the Telekom had promised to fix the line withing two weeks .

Alisya seems very happy with her activities . She is quite busy too . In the morning from 7.30 am till 12.30 pm. she attend the National School while in the afternoon from 2.30 pm. till 5.30 pm. she attend the Religious School . Then she has to do her home work . She has got very little time to watch TV except on week ends .She is a smart girl and I know she is very intelligent .I hope she would grow up to be a successful career lady .

Last Tuesday was Hari Raya Haji or Idil Adha . We celeberated the occassion in our new house . Any way Farin did not come back because the public holiday was only for a day .She would be coming back for the Chinese New Year holiday at the end of the month .This morning she called up to inform us that 3 of her university friends including a boy would be putting up a night at our house .They would be going back to Alor Star .

First night in Taman Sri Andalas,Klang .

Last night was for the first time we slept in the new house .My wife and grand daughter Alisya had a wonderful experience . As we were still tired as a result of doing some cleaning and unpacking , we slept soundly .The TV was yet to be fixed , so we wanted to sleep early .However ,we could not perhaps because of difficulty in adjusting to the new environment .

One thing that I noticed about the new place is that all the houses in this area were well lighted till morning .So much so , we found out that it was not necessary for us to light up our house .However we did not want to be indifferent and so we lighted the back portion of our house .

This morning for the first time I sent Alisya to school in Bandar Bukit Tinggi, Klang as their parents are working today .She was very happy about going to school .She looked very confident and very much looking forward to be in her school .Infact , she refused my offer to send her right to her class .She told me she could handle herself .

In the evening we came back to Shah Alam as we wanted to take some important things that we had inadvertently left .We would be spending the night in Shah Alam and would send Alisya to her school early in the morning .

A huge burden is off my shoulder .

Today I feel relieved . A huge burden which I have been shouldering for the past one year is released . We managed to move in into our new house , at least the big things like the furnitures were moved in although we have yet to move in physically . Any way I consider myself as having moved in . This was made possible due to the kind assistance of an old friend from Teluk Gong, Klang . He loaned us his lorry to ferry our things from Shah Alam to Klang .Infact he drove the lorry himself .Not enought with that , his two grown up sons gave us a helping hand . ( Earlier I tried to get assistance from another so called old friend for some helpers but was turned down at the last minute ,of course wih some execuses ) .I am very grateful to this old friend .It is rather difficult to find kind and helpful people now a days especially now that I am retired .Usually they shun away from us particularly when we are in need .Although the lorry was not that big , through his experience he managed to arrange the things carefully so as not to waste any space .It was enough for a trip . The small things would be sent in batches via our cars . The whole things would be carried to the new house within a short time . Since my eldest son Aizad would be staying in our old house , we are not in a hurry to carry all the things. Some would be left behind . Aizad would be renting out his apartment and he has promised my wife that he would be handing over 1/2 the rental to her . My wife was happy with the arrangement because she would have the opportunity to be in the house and would continue to be in close contact with her old colleagues which she treasured so much .I knew about this because she was hesitant about moving in to Klang .

Infact personally , I am too a bit sad about leaving Shah Alam . It is only natural for us to feel that way since we have been staying in Shah Alam for more than 25 years .Well , we should not be over sensitive about that .The house is ready and we have to move in .This is my dream house , a house with a compound of its own and comfortable enough for our family especially when we get together for the week end .( I intend to make it compulsory for my children to come back and stay together for the week end. This is for the sole purpose of ensuring a good and cordial relationship persist amongst them and their children) .

Our grand daughter Siti Nuralisya is now registered a Year 1 student at Sekolah Kebangsaan Bukit Tinggi,Klang and also at the Sekolah Agama Taman Seri Andalas ,Klang .Her orientation was on the 31st.January 2005 and her class would start officially on the 4th.January 2006 .

The new house is ready for occupation .

We were at our new house in Klang almost the whole day. This time Aizad and his family gave a helping hand .Unfortunately , Azman prefered to sleep - his bad habits of getting up late ,don't seem to improve .We managed to paint the interior of the house which were dirtied by the workers while fixing the wiring and the ceiling .Now , it looks once again new .I plan to paint the exterior part of the house in the next couple of days .Only the front part look a little bit worn out . I can easly paint it within a couple of hours only .In the mean time work done on the toilets were done this evening - the last item of the house which were contracted out off the main contractor .I am almost an expert in the fixing of the toilets because I personally oversaw the work . The rubbish too were also taken out in 3 lorries to be thrown away . Infact the house is ready for occupation .Our big problem now is moving our big items like bed , referigerator ,tables and chairs and so forth from Shah Alam to the new house .The small items can be brought in bit by bit in our cars .Infact we are not in a hurry to move in if it had not been for Alisya's ( our grand daughter ) new school session .( I managed to get her admitted to Sekolah Kebangsaan Bukit Tinggi ,Klang after going through tremendous hassle ). The wardrobe is still not ready and in the mean time I reckon we have to make do with whatever is available . I am confident that we would be able to move in either at the end of the month or the latest before the 4th of January 2006.

Oh God,please fulfill my wishes .

My wife has gone to JB to accompany Farin who was going back to her college .They left by bus this evening together with my wife's sister and her daughter Cicit and a nephew who lives in JB .I am now left alone in my room feeling very lonely .

Inspite of the fact that Cicit was staying in our house for a few days , Farin still did not talk to her .It seems that both of them were shy with each other .I tried to advise Farin but it only end up in her crying for no acceptable reason . She is now a university student but still behaves like a kid. I purposely sent her to a boarding school for her upper secondary school so that she could mix and socialise well with friends . Education is not only about passing exams but it should also mould a student to become to become ladies and gentlemen so that they would be able to fit and assimilate themselves into society .Of course ,we should have some element of shyness but not to the extent of impeding our social life . I do not know when she would change .She don't seem to accept any advice .I could only pray to God so that she would change .

My ungrateful contractor abandon his work to complete our new house in KLang .He was obviously not happy with me for pushing him to complete the work early .Luckily ,it is almost completed except for the final touches . I have to make an alternative arrangement to do the final touches .God willing it would be ready by the end of the month for us to move in .I am very much looking forward to settle early so that I could plan for my next course of action.Since my retirement I had to put on hold all my plans because of the new house .I plan to travel once everything is settled .I have always wanted to go the exotic places of the world. I must do this when I am still healthy . Soon my age would reach sixty .I only hope that I would still enjoy good health .Oh God ,please fulfill my wishes .

In Penang for Azman's engagement .

It has been a busy week for me . Prior to our move to Klang , I have to do the final touches to the house so that it would be as presentable as possible when we move in at the end of the month . At the same time I have to go to the schools in Shah Alam and Klang for the transfer of my grand daughter's school - the National school and the agama school to Klang . During the week end we drove up north to Penang for the engagement of my son, Azman .On the 17th.December 2005 we left Shah Alam in 4 cars - Aizad and family in his car , my brother Muttakin and family in his car , Razali , Roha , Khairil's wife and Fuzi in his car while me and wife, Farin and Mahadi in Azman's car . We checked in 3 different hotels - me and wife , Farin,Azman , Mahadi and wife and Razali and Roha at Sri Intan ( a Telecom's apartment lodge ) at Tg.Bunga, Aizad and family at Bayview Beach Hotel ,Batu Feringgi , while Muttakin and family at City Bayview Hotel . Sri Intan was a nice and cosy place by the sea with a nice sea view .Each apartment with 2 rooms . We stayed in 2 apartments . At night we had dinner at a renown nasi kandar shop .

The next day around 12.00 noon we checked out from our rooms and proceeded to Kg.Sungai Gelugor, Penang . We could not find the house and had to get assistance of a man from the house to guide us to the place .On reaching the house we had a shock because we were surrounded by mamaks ( dark skin people ) .The village too was dominated by the mamaks because practically all the people there were mamaks . I told myself , wow because of Azman's marriage , we now have mamak relatives .A little bit strange , Azman's fiancee was the only few fare skin people in the house .Any way , this is fate and we have to accept this as God's decision . What matters most is Azman's happiness .

I began by introducing our members of the entourage before I handed over to Mahadi as my spoke person during the the ' peminangan ' .The dowry would be RM.8,000 serba satu and the engaement would be for a year .We were then treated to a decent nasi kandar lunch , cooked by their family as a ' gotong royong ' . Almost every body in our entourage have nice words for the cooking . I do not know why they like it very much .After the ' doa ' we excused ourselves . Before we left Penang we came to Muttakin's hotel to have a taste of the food and cakes given by Azman's fiancee's family in the ' hantaran balas ' . Muttakin extended his stay in Penang for another day while Aizad put up another night at Bukit Merah .

We left Penang around 5.00 pm. and reached home at about 10.00 pm .

Exam is a way for me to assess myself .

My Pengajian Al Quran exams is on 21-22 January 2006. It is just about a month to go . I am used to exams . It is almost part of my life .I have been taking exams almost through out my life ever since I left college . It started with with my Lower Law Exams , in 1970 ,Higher Law Exams in 1976 , Higher School Certificate Exams in 1977 which I took as a private student , Diploma Public Admin UITM 1980 - 1984 as an off campus student , Bachelor in Jurisprudence UM 1995 -2001 as an off campus student , Syariah Law 2002 -2003 UM and currently I am pursuing Pengajian Al Quran at the University of Malaya where I am one of the oldest student . I treat exams as a challenge . I feel proud for passing any exam especially when I can beat the young people . Exam makes me always on my toe and it is a way by which I can assess myself and how I perform from time to time . It also keeps me busy especially now that I am retired .It is also a sense of direction for me as a target for me to achieve . Otherwise my life would be like a ship lost in the ocean , sailing aimlessly .

I have alot to remember especially in the Tajweed Paper . To make things easy ,I design charts and formulars ,so that I can remember easily and enable me a longer power of retention .On the walls of my room there are numerous charts and formulars .I also make sure that I do my revision daily . I do not study at the last minute . I always keep myself ready to face an exam at any time I always keep in mind that my purpose in studying is not the exams but because I am interested in the subject . I always keep a small note book in my pocket where I can refresh memory whenever I wish so .

The trouble with young students today ,they do not have self discipline .They do not study and revise daily .They study at the last minute .As university students they are not only expected to do well in exams but should be ready to be tested at any time .They should not expect to be treated like school boys and girls .They enjoy too much and they do not plan .In everything we do , we must plan.Without planning we will not achieve total success . So , is in life . My years in the Police have taught me about planning and discipline for which I am very grateful .

I keep on studying till today is not only that I am just hungry for knowledge , but I also wish this would inspire my children to study hard and achieve success in their lives .Moreover , there is a ' hadith '( sayings ) of the Prophet Muhammad Rasulullah ( pbh.) that says ,whoever dies whilst in the pursuit of knowledge , he or she dies as a syaheed ( worldly syaheed ) .The call by the government of a life long learning is very relevant to our religion Islam .I am just doing that .

That's me taken by Alisya.

 

Farin and Alisya

 

Alisya at the balcony of our appartment in PD.

Our new house in Klang.

 

Shah Alam would always be in our hearts .

Our days in Shah Alam are numbered . We would soon leave this town to settle down in Klang.Although Klang is just a few miles away and about 10-15 minutes drive , still I feel sad having to leave Shah Alam .We first came to Shah Alam in December 1978 when I was transfered from Johor to Bukit Aman,Kuala Lumpur. Our first house was in Seksyen 11. Shah Alam then was just newly developed and we were one of their pioneer settlers .We witnessed for almost 27 years how Shah Alam developed from a small town to a city as it is today.There was a break of our stay in in Shah Alam for about 3 years ( 1984-1987 ) when I was transfered to Banting,Kuala Langat to head the department there. Nevertheless we came back to Shah Alam to stay in a new house in Seksyen 8 .And we stay put till today .

It has been my dream to stay in a bungalow house with a big compound enough for me and the children/grandchildren to run around . In 1984 I purchased from PKNS a piece of land in Taman Sri Andalas,Klang at a very reasonably cheap price ,with an intention of building our own house .Actually ,I wanted a piece of land in Shah Alam but was instead offered this land .I had no choice ,rather than to loose an opportunity to build a bungalow .I accept it and bought it .Luckily the state government ( although it was stated in the agreement that I was to build the house within a year ) did not insist on me to build the house then ,otherwise I would not have the means to build one .Probably they overlook the matter .

Building the house was no easy feat. I had to face alot of problems and challenges in getting the plans drawn and having it approved . Only then I knew how difficult it is to deal with the various government departments . Every body seems keen to have an opportunity to ' get something ' out of me .It got stuck for almost 2 years .Till I had no choice but to get the good office of a politician to get things done .

The house is almost completed and it would be ready in a month's time .Whether we like it or not we have to move in before the school new term begins because Alisya ( our grand daughter ) would be going to school ( govt. run school ) for the first time .We are moving there with mixed feelings of sadness and happiness . Sad for having to leave the town that has almost grown along together with our children and happy for we would be staying in a bigger and more luxurious house.My wife would be most sad for she would be loosing some good friends here .Obviously she made alot of friends through her surau activities .

I have also made my resolution that is to lead a slightly different life ie., I want to be close to the community there and to make the mosque as a place where I would frequent as often as I can .I would also resume my morning jog .

Any way we would still come to Shah Alam off and on because we still have our interests here . Although we would no more be staying here , Shah Alam would always be in our hearts .

p.s. We will be going to PD today .We have not been there for almost 3 months .Alisya would be following us.We would stay for a night there .I hope Farin would follow us too .

Prayers for Dr.Azhari Hussin and his colleagues.

I would like to state here categorically that I am not a terrorist nor am I a supporter of terrorist activities . I do not agree with the way bombs being exploded in public places where innocent people are the victims especially when they are fellow Muslims .I would not mind if the victims are really enemies of Islam .I just cannot understand why these people are willing to kill and hurt fellow brothers in Islam . Any way they could have their own reasons .It is not for me to decide whether they are right or wrong .Only God knows .

The past few days ,the killing of Dr.Azhari Hussin ,the alleged Jemaah Islamiah leader and bomb maker ,captured newspaper headlines in Malaysia and Indonesia and perhaps through out the world too .It was especially so in Malaysia because he is a Malaysian and a former lecturer of University Teknologi Malaysia .He sacrificed his luxurious life for what he believe as a jihad - a religious cause . I am not questioning his belief but what I am trying to highlight here is that the world which is being led by the US and it's allies today has to be fair to Islam and the Muslims if they are really serious about eradicating terrorism . The killing of Dr.Azhari or for that matter even if it is Osama bin Laden , will not stop dissatisfied Muslims from being suicide bombers .The loss of Dr.Azhari could lead to the birth of tens or even hundreds and thousands of new Dr.Azharis .The US and it's allies has to realise that they are not being fair to the Muslims especially in their policies towards the Palestinians ,Iraq and Afghanistan . I can bet to my last dollar that the majority of the Muslims around the world believe so . I believe the US and it's allies knows this too .They simply ignore this fact because it is now an open secret that they have a secret agenda against Islam .

Putting aside his mistakes , as a fellow Muslim I still pray to God so that Dr.Azhari and his colleagues would be accepted by God as jihadists ( fighters for a good cause ) and their souls would go to heaven . Amin .

Farin and Alisya.
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My Idilfitri celeberation

On Hari Raya morning as usual I and Azman went to the State mosque in Shah Alam for the Idilfitri sunnah prayer . After the prayer we went to the Muslim cemetry in Seksyen 21 Shah Alam to pay our respect to my late father who passed away on 8th.March 2000 .I read the Surah Yassin , recited the doa and poured scented water on my father's grave . I hope my father would rest in peace .My only regret was ,I was unable to be close to him during his life time due to our strict traditional upbringing . I am sad because my late father would not be able to see my daughter Eileen graduate as a doctor , because it was his wish that one of his grandchildren would qualify as a doctor . However , I believe his soul would be happy because his wish is being fulfilled ,insyallah .

It has been my practice as soon as I reach home after the Idilfitri prayer , I would sit on the sofa to enable my wife ,children and grand children to shake my hand to ask for forgiveness . The young and unmarried would get an angpow from me which normally would not be less than RM.50.00 .Of course Alisya ,my grand daughter would get the most because apart from getting one from me ,she would also get from her uncles ,aunties and grand mothers .

This year's Hari Raya /Idilfitri has been the worst for me . I expected to celeberate it at our new house which turned out to be a futile .The house could not be completed in time .As a result of that I did not have the mood to celeberate it . I did not invite any one . As expected only one old friend ( Ah Lam from Klang ) came to the house although I received a number of phone calls from my non Muslim friends hinting me to invite them . I told them that I am not having an open house this year .

On the second day morning of Hari Raya we ( my wife ,Azman ,Farin and I ) went to Sungai Air Tawar,Sabak Bernam to visit my mother . Only my brother Samsun and two sisters were there . As it was a Friday , I went for the Friday prayer at the Sungai Air Tawar mosque .I am stranger to this place because I never stayed there . My family moved here when I had already left to work somewhere else .We did not stay for the night there and went back to Shah Alam in the evening . On our way back we made a short stop over at Batu 38,Sabak Bernam to visit Hj.Abdul Latif who is a close relative . We reached Shah Alam around 9.00 pm.

On the third day of Hari Raya morning, 5th November 2005, we ( my wife , Azman ,Farin and I ) proceeded to Johor Bahru . The main purpose was to send Farin back to her university ( UTM ) at Skudai,Johor and at the same time to visit my mother-in-law in Johor Bahru . When we reached Johor Bahru ,we checked into a hotel -Crystal Crown , while Farin and my wife stayed at my mother-in-law's house at Melodies Garden ,JB .In the evening we went to my brother in-law's (Zainal) house . Incidentally ,Hassan ,another brother in-law and his family from Subang Jaya was already there . As usual since Zainal is a good chatter , we chatted until 2.00 am .

The next day ( 6th.November ) evening we convoyed in 3 cars to visit relatives around Johor Bahru ,till late in the evening .However ,Azman ,Farin and I escaped the last two houses by an excuse to do some shopping at Holiday Plaza . In actual fact ,we did not do much shopping except for Azman who bouight some pirated VCDs .After dinner there we came back to our hotel room .Farin stayed with us for the night .

On 7th.November 2005 we checked out from the hotel at about 11.45 am and came to my mother-in-law's house to pick my wife . We then sent Farin to UTM . Very few students came back because classes would start only on 10th.November 2005 . Her room mate has yet to return .Farin preferred to return early because she wanted to prepare for her semester exams which would start next week . One thing peculiar about her ,unlike her sister Eileen , she is very hardworking and have a strong determination to succeed. I think she is aiming to earn a first class degree to enable her to straight away proceed for her Masters and Phd's degree .

We left UTM at about 1.40 pm . and reached Shah Alam at about 5.30 pm.It was a pleasant journey without any hitches .

Malaysia mourns the loss of it's First Lady.

Today Malaysia mourns the death of it's First Lady, Datin Endon wife of our Prime Minister,Dato Sri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. After almost 3 years of fighting the disease of breast cancer finally this morning ( 7.55 am ) she succumbs to the deadly disease .She passed away peacefully at the PM's residence,Sri Perdana in Putrajaya. By her bedside were her beloved husband, two children, son-in law , daughter-in law and her mother Datin Mariam Abdullah.Eighteen days ago she returned from the United States where she was treated of the disease .She was laid to rest at the Muslim cemetry at Presinct 20 ,Putrajaya attended by local and foregn dignitaries. Among those who came to pay their last respect were Crown Prince of Brunei Darussalam ,President Arroyo Macapagal of the Phillipines, Premier Lee Hsien Loong of Singapore and the Deputy PM of Thailand .

What is the morale behind this tragedy ? How wealthy you are , how powerful you are ,how good is your doctor that attends to you ,how well known you are ,how well you are loved ,no one could go against God's fate . When the time for us to die has come ,we'll have to go .All living things has to suffer death .No one is exempted . Therefore we must always be ready with enough good deeds , not to go against God's wishes -committing sins and fullfill our obligations to God such as performing the daily prayers etc. Prophet Muhammad (pbh.) once said via the Hadith ' You must do good deeds as if you are going to die tomorrow '.So we cannot say we are still young and there is enough time to do later .No one knows when we are going to die except God .

Cancer is a killer disease .Breast cancer often attacks women and chances of a cure is very slim. Medical practitioners has yet to find the diognose of the deadly disease. God mentioned in the Holy Quran that there is a cure to all diseases .Only that human beings has yet to discover it .Now, I would like to challenge all Medical practioners and would be practitioners to put all efforts available to find the solution to the problem, human beings has been facing since Prophet Adam (pbh.)

It must be very painful for us to loose some one who is very dear to us .I cannot bear to loose my loved ones especially my wife who has been my closest companion for the last 35 years .Especially now that I am retired ,where my activities has almost been restricted to my home. I do not have any other companion or friends to talk and joke to except my wife . One may say ,' Oh ,you can always remarry '. Not as simple as that .By remarrying, that doesn't guarantee happiness .Further, we have to take care the feelings of our children .I'd rather remain single ,than to have another burden on my shoulder.

Oh God, please do not take away my loved ones .

Beware of the fake Quran (The True Furqan)

Last Friday during the Friday Prayer Sermon at the State Mosque in Shah Alam , we had the shock of our lives when told that a new Quran called ' The True Furqan ' are now in circulation through out the world to confuse Muslims with the ultimate aim to lure Muslims into Christianity . As we all know ' Furqan ' is another name for Quran .

Reaching home after the prayer , I immediately rushed to my lap-top computer and surf the internet to verify the information that we received during the Friday prayer sermon . I manage to surf the relevent website and it was confirmed that ' The True Furqan ' existed .It was actually authored by an Arab Christian now living in the US who was sponsored by President Bush and by the Israeli government. After perusing through a few pages , I don't need to be an expert to identify this fake Quran .

Surprisingly , Kuwait became the bastion for distributions of this fake Quran to other countries . In Kuwait it is even being distributed to school children in government schools .On second thought , I am not surprised this is happening in Kuwait or even perhaps in Saudi Arabia . If you all remember not long ago during the Iraq War these are among the Muslim Arab countries which conspired with the US and it's allies to wage war against Iraq . Kuwait was especially indebted to the US for rescuing her from President Saddam's invading army .It has come to this stage that these Arab nations had stooped so low to President Bush even to the extent of almost destroying their own religion . It would not be too long when these infidels would enter the holy city of Mecca just as what had happened to our 3rd.holiest mosque al Aqsa in Baitumaqdis/Bethlehem . Even today US has already had a Military Base outside Riyadh , just a few hundred miles from the Holy City . Who knows that their millitary spies had not entered the Holy City ? Can you expect much from the Arabs who claims that they are entrusted by God to be the custodion of the Holy City ? There is nothing stated in the Quran that they are the custodion of the Holy City . They too ,is not the largest Muslim community .Today , Muslims in Nusantara ( Malaysia and Indonesia ) is the largest Muslim community in the world . In my humble opinion ,the Holy Cities ( Mecca and Medina ) should be administered by OIC .

Now it is confirmed that the enemies of Islam is trying their best to destroy our religion. They have now resorted to the despicable act of inventing a fake Quran to confuse us .A young child or someone with limited knowledge about Islam would slowly be lured into believing the fake Quran .That is why they are targetting school children and adults with limited knowledge of the religion .We Muslims have to unite and consolidate our solidarity to fight against our enemies . We should not emulate the Arabs for they cannot be trusted .We cannot depend on them for they are known to have conspired with our enemies .

Today ,it is almost 2 weeks of fasting this year's Ramadhan .As the previous year we are a bit lonely especially during the breaking of fast .Most of the time only the two of us are at the table for the breaking of fast because Aizad and Azman are seldom at home .Normally ,they breakfasted in the car and only reached home well after breaking of fast time.Luckily , Alisya is around . She becomes our companion to talk and joke to .

Our new house could not be completed in time for Hari Raya .We have to celeberate this year's Hari Raya somewhere else - may be in JB .

Pakistan and Kashmir shaken by eathquakes.

Pakistan and Kashmir have been devastated by the deadly earthquakes. It is estimated about 40,000 lives perished in the tragedy . It is heartening to hear of such disaster and more so they are all our Muslim brothers and sisters . Sometimes I wonder why Pakistan and Kashmir with the majority of the population are Muslims ,have to suffer the disaster this time especially during this Ramadhan .There could be a 'hikmah' or reason from God on why the tragedy this time has to be on the people of Pakistan and Kashmir .After some thought , I reckon that it could be a reminder from God not to conspire with the enemies of Islam . As we all know President Musharraf has been a US stooge in its campaign to destroy Islam .He has also been licking President's Bush's arse in return for a few thousands US dollars to help finance his shaky government . He is responsible for arresting a good number of mujahideens / freedom fighters and turning them over to his 'master' - the US resulting in them being detained without trial at the infamous Guantanamo Bay Prison .His sins does not end there , he is also responsible for the closure of a number of Madrasahs ( Islamic institution ) which was accused by the US for planting seeds of hatred against them and as training grounds for terrorism . As in Malaysia and other countries Madrasahs played a pivotal role in the dissemination of our religion Islam . This fact has been feared by the enemies of Islam which they believe could hamper their campaign to weaken and eventually to destroy the religion .Thousands of students including some from Malaysia had to abandon their studies . Other countries including Malaysia especially under Dr.Mahathir used the same reasons to clamp down on the Madrasahs activities . Thailand for that matter is trying her best to close down Madrasahs in Southern Thailand , as part of it's campaign to weaken Islam . Pakistan which was known as one of the favourite destinations for students of Islam, is left with nothing but stooges of the West . All the goings on in Pakistan could have infuriated God and as a signal to human kind made the earthquakes to happen . This is also a reminder to all Muslim countries especially the Arab kingdoms not to stoop so low to the West , more so to be lickers of their arse . These countries should be the guardian of Islam but instead allowed themselves to be used by the super powers as a tool to destroy another fellow Muslim country , as in the case of Afghanistan and Iraq. But Arabs being typical Arabs are well known for their lack of awareness on the importance of unity and solidairity among themselves .They are always suspicious of each other and can never remain united. That is the main reason for their defeat by Israel during the Gulf War of 1967 .Before the advent of Islam , the Arab community were known for their ruthlessness and lawlessness . If the religion of Islam did not come to them through Prophet Muhammad (pbh), they would have been worst than what they are known today . President Jamal Abdul Nasser of Egypt , President Haffiz al Assad of Syria and President Muammar Gadaffi of Libya tried to unite the Arab community but all failed . I suppose only a non Arab strong leader could unite them in the interest of Islam .

One would ask what is the part played by the OIC ( Organisation of Islamic Countries )to unite the Muslim countries ?As the name suggest " Oh, I see ." , I guess nothing much can be done as long as the Arabs are not united .They are the main obstacles to unity and solidarity .

Taking opportunity of this holy month of Ramadhan ,I pray so that God would guide leaders of Muslim countries to the right path and not to succumb to the lure of the enemies of Islam.