Exam is a way for me to assess myself .

My Pengajian Al Quran exams is on 21-22 January 2006. It is just about a month to go . I am used to exams . It is almost part of my life .I have been taking exams almost through out my life ever since I left college . It started with with my Lower Law Exams , in 1970 ,Higher Law Exams in 1976 , Higher School Certificate Exams in 1977 which I took as a private student , Diploma Public Admin UITM 1980 - 1984 as an off campus student , Bachelor in Jurisprudence UM 1995 -2001 as an off campus student , Syariah Law 2002 -2003 UM and currently I am pursuing Pengajian Al Quran at the University of Malaya where I am one of the oldest student . I treat exams as a challenge . I feel proud for passing any exam especially when I can beat the young people . Exam makes me always on my toe and it is a way by which I can assess myself and how I perform from time to time . It also keeps me busy especially now that I am retired .It is also a sense of direction for me as a target for me to achieve . Otherwise my life would be like a ship lost in the ocean , sailing aimlessly .

I have alot to remember especially in the Tajweed Paper . To make things easy ,I design charts and formulars ,so that I can remember easily and enable me a longer power of retention .On the walls of my room there are numerous charts and formulars .I also make sure that I do my revision daily . I do not study at the last minute . I always keep myself ready to face an exam at any time I always keep in mind that my purpose in studying is not the exams but because I am interested in the subject . I always keep a small note book in my pocket where I can refresh memory whenever I wish so .

The trouble with young students today ,they do not have self discipline .They do not study and revise daily .They study at the last minute .As university students they are not only expected to do well in exams but should be ready to be tested at any time .They should not expect to be treated like school boys and girls .They enjoy too much and they do not plan .In everything we do , we must plan.Without planning we will not achieve total success . So , is in life . My years in the Police have taught me about planning and discipline for which I am very grateful .

I keep on studying till today is not only that I am just hungry for knowledge , but I also wish this would inspire my children to study hard and achieve success in their lives .Moreover , there is a ' hadith '( sayings ) of the Prophet Muhammad Rasulullah ( pbh.) that says ,whoever dies whilst in the pursuit of knowledge , he or she dies as a syaheed ( worldly syaheed ) .The call by the government of a life long learning is very relevant to our religion Islam .I am just doing that .

That's me taken by Alisya.

 

Farin and Alisya

 

Alisya at the balcony of our appartment in PD.

Our new house in Klang.

 

Shah Alam would always be in our hearts .

Our days in Shah Alam are numbered . We would soon leave this town to settle down in Klang.Although Klang is just a few miles away and about 10-15 minutes drive , still I feel sad having to leave Shah Alam .We first came to Shah Alam in December 1978 when I was transfered from Johor to Bukit Aman,Kuala Lumpur. Our first house was in Seksyen 11. Shah Alam then was just newly developed and we were one of their pioneer settlers .We witnessed for almost 27 years how Shah Alam developed from a small town to a city as it is today.There was a break of our stay in in Shah Alam for about 3 years ( 1984-1987 ) when I was transfered to Banting,Kuala Langat to head the department there. Nevertheless we came back to Shah Alam to stay in a new house in Seksyen 8 .And we stay put till today .

It has been my dream to stay in a bungalow house with a big compound enough for me and the children/grandchildren to run around . In 1984 I purchased from PKNS a piece of land in Taman Sri Andalas,Klang at a very reasonably cheap price ,with an intention of building our own house .Actually ,I wanted a piece of land in Shah Alam but was instead offered this land .I had no choice ,rather than to loose an opportunity to build a bungalow .I accept it and bought it .Luckily the state government ( although it was stated in the agreement that I was to build the house within a year ) did not insist on me to build the house then ,otherwise I would not have the means to build one .Probably they overlook the matter .

Building the house was no easy feat. I had to face alot of problems and challenges in getting the plans drawn and having it approved . Only then I knew how difficult it is to deal with the various government departments . Every body seems keen to have an opportunity to ' get something ' out of me .It got stuck for almost 2 years .Till I had no choice but to get the good office of a politician to get things done .

The house is almost completed and it would be ready in a month's time .Whether we like it or not we have to move in before the school new term begins because Alisya ( our grand daughter ) would be going to school ( govt. run school ) for the first time .We are moving there with mixed feelings of sadness and happiness . Sad for having to leave the town that has almost grown along together with our children and happy for we would be staying in a bigger and more luxurious house.My wife would be most sad for she would be loosing some good friends here .Obviously she made alot of friends through her surau activities .

I have also made my resolution that is to lead a slightly different life ie., I want to be close to the community there and to make the mosque as a place where I would frequent as often as I can .I would also resume my morning jog .

Any way we would still come to Shah Alam off and on because we still have our interests here . Although we would no more be staying here , Shah Alam would always be in our hearts .

p.s. We will be going to PD today .We have not been there for almost 3 months .Alisya would be following us.We would stay for a night there .I hope Farin would follow us too .

Prayers for Dr.Azhari Hussin and his colleagues.

I would like to state here categorically that I am not a terrorist nor am I a supporter of terrorist activities . I do not agree with the way bombs being exploded in public places where innocent people are the victims especially when they are fellow Muslims .I would not mind if the victims are really enemies of Islam .I just cannot understand why these people are willing to kill and hurt fellow brothers in Islam . Any way they could have their own reasons .It is not for me to decide whether they are right or wrong .Only God knows .

The past few days ,the killing of Dr.Azhari Hussin ,the alleged Jemaah Islamiah leader and bomb maker ,captured newspaper headlines in Malaysia and Indonesia and perhaps through out the world too .It was especially so in Malaysia because he is a Malaysian and a former lecturer of University Teknologi Malaysia .He sacrificed his luxurious life for what he believe as a jihad - a religious cause . I am not questioning his belief but what I am trying to highlight here is that the world which is being led by the US and it's allies today has to be fair to Islam and the Muslims if they are really serious about eradicating terrorism . The killing of Dr.Azhari or for that matter even if it is Osama bin Laden , will not stop dissatisfied Muslims from being suicide bombers .The loss of Dr.Azhari could lead to the birth of tens or even hundreds and thousands of new Dr.Azharis .The US and it's allies has to realise that they are not being fair to the Muslims especially in their policies towards the Palestinians ,Iraq and Afghanistan . I can bet to my last dollar that the majority of the Muslims around the world believe so . I believe the US and it's allies knows this too .They simply ignore this fact because it is now an open secret that they have a secret agenda against Islam .

Putting aside his mistakes , as a fellow Muslim I still pray to God so that Dr.Azhari and his colleagues would be accepted by God as jihadists ( fighters for a good cause ) and their souls would go to heaven . Amin .

Farin and Alisya.
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My Idilfitri celeberation

On Hari Raya morning as usual I and Azman went to the State mosque in Shah Alam for the Idilfitri sunnah prayer . After the prayer we went to the Muslim cemetry in Seksyen 21 Shah Alam to pay our respect to my late father who passed away on 8th.March 2000 .I read the Surah Yassin , recited the doa and poured scented water on my father's grave . I hope my father would rest in peace .My only regret was ,I was unable to be close to him during his life time due to our strict traditional upbringing . I am sad because my late father would not be able to see my daughter Eileen graduate as a doctor , because it was his wish that one of his grandchildren would qualify as a doctor . However , I believe his soul would be happy because his wish is being fulfilled ,insyallah .

It has been my practice as soon as I reach home after the Idilfitri prayer , I would sit on the sofa to enable my wife ,children and grand children to shake my hand to ask for forgiveness . The young and unmarried would get an angpow from me which normally would not be less than RM.50.00 .Of course Alisya ,my grand daughter would get the most because apart from getting one from me ,she would also get from her uncles ,aunties and grand mothers .

This year's Hari Raya /Idilfitri has been the worst for me . I expected to celeberate it at our new house which turned out to be a futile .The house could not be completed in time .As a result of that I did not have the mood to celeberate it . I did not invite any one . As expected only one old friend ( Ah Lam from Klang ) came to the house although I received a number of phone calls from my non Muslim friends hinting me to invite them . I told them that I am not having an open house this year .

On the second day morning of Hari Raya we ( my wife ,Azman ,Farin and I ) went to Sungai Air Tawar,Sabak Bernam to visit my mother . Only my brother Samsun and two sisters were there . As it was a Friday , I went for the Friday prayer at the Sungai Air Tawar mosque .I am stranger to this place because I never stayed there . My family moved here when I had already left to work somewhere else .We did not stay for the night there and went back to Shah Alam in the evening . On our way back we made a short stop over at Batu 38,Sabak Bernam to visit Hj.Abdul Latif who is a close relative . We reached Shah Alam around 9.00 pm.

On the third day of Hari Raya morning, 5th November 2005, we ( my wife , Azman ,Farin and I ) proceeded to Johor Bahru . The main purpose was to send Farin back to her university ( UTM ) at Skudai,Johor and at the same time to visit my mother-in-law in Johor Bahru . When we reached Johor Bahru ,we checked into a hotel -Crystal Crown , while Farin and my wife stayed at my mother-in-law's house at Melodies Garden ,JB .In the evening we went to my brother in-law's (Zainal) house . Incidentally ,Hassan ,another brother in-law and his family from Subang Jaya was already there . As usual since Zainal is a good chatter , we chatted until 2.00 am .

The next day ( 6th.November ) evening we convoyed in 3 cars to visit relatives around Johor Bahru ,till late in the evening .However ,Azman ,Farin and I escaped the last two houses by an excuse to do some shopping at Holiday Plaza . In actual fact ,we did not do much shopping except for Azman who bouight some pirated VCDs .After dinner there we came back to our hotel room .Farin stayed with us for the night .

On 7th.November 2005 we checked out from the hotel at about 11.45 am and came to my mother-in-law's house to pick my wife . We then sent Farin to UTM . Very few students came back because classes would start only on 10th.November 2005 . Her room mate has yet to return .Farin preferred to return early because she wanted to prepare for her semester exams which would start next week . One thing peculiar about her ,unlike her sister Eileen , she is very hardworking and have a strong determination to succeed. I think she is aiming to earn a first class degree to enable her to straight away proceed for her Masters and Phd's degree .

We left UTM at about 1.40 pm . and reached Shah Alam at about 5.30 pm.It was a pleasant journey without any hitches .

Malaysia mourns the loss of it's First Lady.

Today Malaysia mourns the death of it's First Lady, Datin Endon wife of our Prime Minister,Dato Sri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. After almost 3 years of fighting the disease of breast cancer finally this morning ( 7.55 am ) she succumbs to the deadly disease .She passed away peacefully at the PM's residence,Sri Perdana in Putrajaya. By her bedside were her beloved husband, two children, son-in law , daughter-in law and her mother Datin Mariam Abdullah.Eighteen days ago she returned from the United States where she was treated of the disease .She was laid to rest at the Muslim cemetry at Presinct 20 ,Putrajaya attended by local and foregn dignitaries. Among those who came to pay their last respect were Crown Prince of Brunei Darussalam ,President Arroyo Macapagal of the Phillipines, Premier Lee Hsien Loong of Singapore and the Deputy PM of Thailand .

What is the morale behind this tragedy ? How wealthy you are , how powerful you are ,how good is your doctor that attends to you ,how well known you are ,how well you are loved ,no one could go against God's fate . When the time for us to die has come ,we'll have to go .All living things has to suffer death .No one is exempted . Therefore we must always be ready with enough good deeds , not to go against God's wishes -committing sins and fullfill our obligations to God such as performing the daily prayers etc. Prophet Muhammad (pbh.) once said via the Hadith ' You must do good deeds as if you are going to die tomorrow '.So we cannot say we are still young and there is enough time to do later .No one knows when we are going to die except God .

Cancer is a killer disease .Breast cancer often attacks women and chances of a cure is very slim. Medical practitioners has yet to find the diognose of the deadly disease. God mentioned in the Holy Quran that there is a cure to all diseases .Only that human beings has yet to discover it .Now, I would like to challenge all Medical practioners and would be practitioners to put all efforts available to find the solution to the problem, human beings has been facing since Prophet Adam (pbh.)

It must be very painful for us to loose some one who is very dear to us .I cannot bear to loose my loved ones especially my wife who has been my closest companion for the last 35 years .Especially now that I am retired ,where my activities has almost been restricted to my home. I do not have any other companion or friends to talk and joke to except my wife . One may say ,' Oh ,you can always remarry '. Not as simple as that .By remarrying, that doesn't guarantee happiness .Further, we have to take care the feelings of our children .I'd rather remain single ,than to have another burden on my shoulder.

Oh God, please do not take away my loved ones .

Beware of the fake Quran (The True Furqan)

Last Friday during the Friday Prayer Sermon at the State Mosque in Shah Alam , we had the shock of our lives when told that a new Quran called ' The True Furqan ' are now in circulation through out the world to confuse Muslims with the ultimate aim to lure Muslims into Christianity . As we all know ' Furqan ' is another name for Quran .

Reaching home after the prayer , I immediately rushed to my lap-top computer and surf the internet to verify the information that we received during the Friday prayer sermon . I manage to surf the relevent website and it was confirmed that ' The True Furqan ' existed .It was actually authored by an Arab Christian now living in the US who was sponsored by President Bush and by the Israeli government. After perusing through a few pages , I don't need to be an expert to identify this fake Quran .

Surprisingly , Kuwait became the bastion for distributions of this fake Quran to other countries . In Kuwait it is even being distributed to school children in government schools .On second thought , I am not surprised this is happening in Kuwait or even perhaps in Saudi Arabia . If you all remember not long ago during the Iraq War these are among the Muslim Arab countries which conspired with the US and it's allies to wage war against Iraq . Kuwait was especially indebted to the US for rescuing her from President Saddam's invading army .It has come to this stage that these Arab nations had stooped so low to President Bush even to the extent of almost destroying their own religion . It would not be too long when these infidels would enter the holy city of Mecca just as what had happened to our 3rd.holiest mosque al Aqsa in Baitumaqdis/Bethlehem . Even today US has already had a Military Base outside Riyadh , just a few hundred miles from the Holy City . Who knows that their millitary spies had not entered the Holy City ? Can you expect much from the Arabs who claims that they are entrusted by God to be the custodion of the Holy City ? There is nothing stated in the Quran that they are the custodion of the Holy City . They too ,is not the largest Muslim community .Today , Muslims in Nusantara ( Malaysia and Indonesia ) is the largest Muslim community in the world . In my humble opinion ,the Holy Cities ( Mecca and Medina ) should be administered by OIC .

Now it is confirmed that the enemies of Islam is trying their best to destroy our religion. They have now resorted to the despicable act of inventing a fake Quran to confuse us .A young child or someone with limited knowledge about Islam would slowly be lured into believing the fake Quran .That is why they are targetting school children and adults with limited knowledge of the religion .We Muslims have to unite and consolidate our solidarity to fight against our enemies . We should not emulate the Arabs for they cannot be trusted .We cannot depend on them for they are known to have conspired with our enemies .

Today ,it is almost 2 weeks of fasting this year's Ramadhan .As the previous year we are a bit lonely especially during the breaking of fast .Most of the time only the two of us are at the table for the breaking of fast because Aizad and Azman are seldom at home .Normally ,they breakfasted in the car and only reached home well after breaking of fast time.Luckily , Alisya is around . She becomes our companion to talk and joke to .

Our new house could not be completed in time for Hari Raya .We have to celeberate this year's Hari Raya somewhere else - may be in JB .

Pakistan and Kashmir shaken by eathquakes.

Pakistan and Kashmir have been devastated by the deadly earthquakes. It is estimated about 40,000 lives perished in the tragedy . It is heartening to hear of such disaster and more so they are all our Muslim brothers and sisters . Sometimes I wonder why Pakistan and Kashmir with the majority of the population are Muslims ,have to suffer the disaster this time especially during this Ramadhan .There could be a 'hikmah' or reason from God on why the tragedy this time has to be on the people of Pakistan and Kashmir .After some thought , I reckon that it could be a reminder from God not to conspire with the enemies of Islam . As we all know President Musharraf has been a US stooge in its campaign to destroy Islam .He has also been licking President's Bush's arse in return for a few thousands US dollars to help finance his shaky government . He is responsible for arresting a good number of mujahideens / freedom fighters and turning them over to his 'master' - the US resulting in them being detained without trial at the infamous Guantanamo Bay Prison .His sins does not end there , he is also responsible for the closure of a number of Madrasahs ( Islamic institution ) which was accused by the US for planting seeds of hatred against them and as training grounds for terrorism . As in Malaysia and other countries Madrasahs played a pivotal role in the dissemination of our religion Islam . This fact has been feared by the enemies of Islam which they believe could hamper their campaign to weaken and eventually to destroy the religion .Thousands of students including some from Malaysia had to abandon their studies . Other countries including Malaysia especially under Dr.Mahathir used the same reasons to clamp down on the Madrasahs activities . Thailand for that matter is trying her best to close down Madrasahs in Southern Thailand , as part of it's campaign to weaken Islam . Pakistan which was known as one of the favourite destinations for students of Islam, is left with nothing but stooges of the West . All the goings on in Pakistan could have infuriated God and as a signal to human kind made the earthquakes to happen . This is also a reminder to all Muslim countries especially the Arab kingdoms not to stoop so low to the West , more so to be lickers of their arse . These countries should be the guardian of Islam but instead allowed themselves to be used by the super powers as a tool to destroy another fellow Muslim country , as in the case of Afghanistan and Iraq. But Arabs being typical Arabs are well known for their lack of awareness on the importance of unity and solidairity among themselves .They are always suspicious of each other and can never remain united. That is the main reason for their defeat by Israel during the Gulf War of 1967 .Before the advent of Islam , the Arab community were known for their ruthlessness and lawlessness . If the religion of Islam did not come to them through Prophet Muhammad (pbh), they would have been worst than what they are known today . President Jamal Abdul Nasser of Egypt , President Haffiz al Assad of Syria and President Muammar Gadaffi of Libya tried to unite the Arab community but all failed . I suppose only a non Arab strong leader could unite them in the interest of Islam .

One would ask what is the part played by the OIC ( Organisation of Islamic Countries )to unite the Muslim countries ?As the name suggest " Oh, I see ." , I guess nothing much can be done as long as the Arabs are not united .They are the main obstacles to unity and solidarity .

Taking opportunity of this holy month of Ramadhan ,I pray so that God would guide leaders of Muslim countries to the right path and not to succumb to the lure of the enemies of Islam.

My childhood life .

In a few days , Muslims would welcome the month of Ramadhan when we would fast ie. refrain from food and water from dawn to dusk for a month. Besides we would also refrain ourselves from committing sins and instead do as much good deeds as we could . Ramadhan is a holy month for Muslims for on the 27th.of Ramadhan our Prophet Muhammad received his first reveilation from God . Thus, this month is very significant to all Muslims throughout the world .At the end of Ramadhan we would then celeberate the Idilfitri .

Reminicsing , my childhood days during Ramadhan and Idilfitri sometimes I would cry and then would wonder with awe how I could rid myself out of that situation . I also thank God for turning me into what I am today . Life in this country during the pre Merdeka days was deplorably pathetic . The majority of the people lived in poverty including my family . Infact ,we belong to the hard core poor . My father had no proper job and it was only when I was about 10 years old that he got a job as a bus driver . With a meagre salary he had to support the 7 of us ( 4 brothers and 2 sisters ) .Luckily we lived in the village and we suppliment our parent's income by breeding chicken and growing vegetable ,tapioca ,sweet potato ,maize etc . So , we did not have to buy vegetables ,sweet potato,maize ,eggs and chickens . We had to be very careful on our spending .We understood our parent's predicament and as such did not demand much .Good food like chicken and meat was something of a luxury in nature and we would get them only during Idilfitri/Idiladha or if there is a kenduri or wedding in the village . To us clothes was only the 2 pairs of school uniform each that we had . New clothes for Idilfitri was not in our vocabulary.In other words we did not celeberate the occasion except stayed home hiding ourselves from others . I remember each time I became sad ,I used to console myself by telling myself that my turn to celeberate would be when I would be successful in my studies and in life later on . Due to my hard work I was quite good in my studies and I won a Federal Minor Scholarship for RM.30.00 per month from Form 1 till I complete my Senior Cambridge School Certificate .That certainly helped alleviate our financial problems .When I continued my studies at UPM Serdang I was sponsored by the Ministry of Agriculture .Thus ,I did not depend on my parents to finance my education . Because of my experience ,I am quite careful with my expenses even up to this day.And that has taught me that God will not change our destiny ,except we ourselves .It is up to us to work hard in order to be successful with out lives . I have proven that . That too has taught me to be humble and to care for the unfortunates . Because life is like a cycle .Today you may be somebody but tomorrow you might be nobody .

I am thankful to God for bestowing upon me a good successful life ,good health and good and intelligent children who do not have to undergo the sort of life I had undergone .

No one can escape death .

This morning I received a talephone call from Encik Zainal a former subordinate at the Forfeiture of Property Division ,Narcotics Department where I was then it's Director prior to my retirement, ( he retired 8 months ago ),informing me that Dato' Mohd.Nor Hamat ,the Deputy Director of Management (Training),Royal Malaysia Police ,Bukit Aman , had passed away this morning at the age of 55 . I know this officer quite well because we once worked together .He was a good officer ,a humble and sincere person .He was transferred out immediately out of Selangor a few years ago due to some allegations .Since then he was a sad person .Although ,officially he died due to heart failure , I beleive, his death was also due to worries and shame . He was a very ambitious person ,and when he realised that there was no hope to achieve his wish , he bacame sad and hopeless .When you are worried and sad , normally diseases set in.At this age ( I mean 50 and above ) one should accept the fact that it is a bit too late to be ambitious .The problem with some individuals , they do not want to accept that fact .I have noticed quite a number of my colleagues who were too ambitious ( gila pangkat ) , died hopeless .Is it worth with the pangkat when you have to leave your loved ones while they are not yet ready to fend for themselves ? I always beleive that I must be grateful to God for giving me enough bounties ( rezeki ) and bestowing upon me good health.Of course where wealth is concerned there is no limit to it .But to me enough is enough for health is equally important . I am not afraid of death ,because none of us could escape from it .My wish - insyallah , is to live to the optimum age ,so that I am ready with enough knowledge ( religious ) and had done enough good deeds and to see my children and my grandchildren successful in their lives ,before I could die peacefully .Any way it is all in God's hands .We could only plan, He disposes .But I hope God would be merciful to me and grant me all my wishes .

A harrowing experience at the Government Health Centre and the Hospital.

On 5th.Sept.2005 my wife asked me to send her to the Pusat Kesihatan (Government Health Centre) Seksyen 7,Shah Alam because she thought she was sick. The doctor at the Centre did a scanty examination on her and then told her that there was nothing wrong with her. I brought her home but I noticed her condition was not getting any better .So , on 7th.Sept. 2005 I sent my wife to a private hospital - the Darul Ehsan ,at Seksyen 9,Shah Alam for a second opinion . They did a thorough examination and the doctor told us that she was suspected to have dengue fever . Because she was entitled to a 1st.Class Ward in a government hospital , she was referred to Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah,Klang for further treatment .Unfortunately when she reached there , not only she was deprived of her 1st.Class Ward , she was made to lie on a extra bed which was placed in the centre of the ward just like she was in a refugee camp. The explaination given was the doctor wanted to contain all the dengue fever sufferers to a ward for easy monitoring .The explaination was ridiculous and unacceptable - mere lazy bums on the part of the doctors .Any way I do not want to make hue and cry over the matter because to me the most important thing was for my wife to be treated well and to be able to come home in one piece. While my wife was in the hospital I felt like getting sick .At first I thought I could have been struck with the same fever. After taking in 2 pills of Panadol 650 , my fever finally went away .Thank God it was not dengue .

On 10th, Sept.2005 I went to the University Malaya to register for my second semester of Pengajian al Quran. I was told a number of well qualified persons too registered themselves for the 1st. Semester . There was a professor ( from a Science discipline) , a few engineers and also a CEO of a public listed company.Like me , they are looking forward to read and understand the holy Quran .

On 11th. Sept.2005 morning together with my eldest son Saiful Aizad and his wife and daughter we sent my daughter Eileen to the airport for her flight to Dublin ,Ireland where she is studying medicine .She is continuing her second year course .My wife was unable to make it because she was still in the hospital .Bon voyage and a safe journey.I hope she would not waste any more time because the 3 months holidays was long enough for her to 'rest' . The next 9 months or so should be treated as a battle to achieve success . As most learned people says success do not come easy .One has to work really hard to achieve 'real success'.She should realize that her old man had sacrificed whatever little cash he has in his savings for her to study and live comfortably in Dublin. So I hope she would not let me down.My only wish is for her to be thankful to God for giving this opportunity to study medicine overseas under a JPA scholarship for getting it was not that plain sailing .

When I reached home I received a call from my wife informing me that she was allowed to go home . She could have pestered the doctor to allow her to go home because she could not stand the noises in the ward caused by the rowdy estate visitors - she could not sleep for the past few days.

Entry made on 13th Sept.2005.

At home she did not fully recovered .She was still tired and could not do anything except lie down in bed .I had to do all the household chores and it was very tiring .She was only a bit better today , even that she is still exempted from cooking .

Pejuang kemerdekaan yang sebenar dipinggirkan dalam lipatan Sejarah negara ini.

Merdeka, merdeka,merdeka. Bersyukur ke hadzrat Allah SWT kerana negara Malaysia kini sebuah negara yang merdeka ,bebas dari cengkaman penjajah dan menikmati faedah pembangunan .Dalam kita berbangga dan menikmati hasil pembangunan, kita seharusnya jangan lupa kapada pejuang kemerdekaan kita yang telah banyak berkorban demi mahu melihat negara ini bebas dan merdeka. Maksud saya bukan mengingati kapada mereka yang dikatakan memerdekakan negara ini saperti yang tercatat didalam buku-buku sejarah saperti yang diajarkan di sekolah-sekolah hari ini . Apa yang tercatat di buku-buku sejarah sekolah adalah cerita-cerita dari perspektif kerajaan UMNO yang sememangnya mahu menonjolkan peranan yang mereka mainkan sahaja ,sementara memperkecilkan peranan pihak-pihak lain yang tidak sehaluan dengan mereka .

Untuk pengetahuan anak-anakku dan cucu-cucuku dan siapa sahaja yang membaca halaman ini, sebenarnya semangat kemerdekaan di negara kita ini telah wijud jauh lebih lama dari tahun-tahun sewaktu UMNO pimpinan Dato Onn Jaafar dan Tengku Abdul Rahman ditubuhkan . Umno ditubuhkan dengan direstui pihak penjajah British pada tahun 1946 , sedangkan api kemerdekaan telah lama dikobar-kobarkan oleh pejuang kemerdekaan saperti Datuk Maharajalela, Datuk Sagor, Tok Bahaman,Mat Lela,Mat Kilau, Tok Janggut dan lain-lain. Dalam tahun 1930an disambung pula oleh pejuang-pejuang saperti Ibrahim Yaakub,Ishak Hj.Muhammad( Pak Sako), Dr.Burhanuddin Hilmi, Prof.Zulkifli Muhammad dan lain-lain . Mereka inilah yang telah menubuhkan Partai politik yang pertama iaitu Kesatuan Melayu Muda ( KMM )pada Mei 1937 di Kampong Baru,Kuala Lumpur sehingga ianya diharamkan oleh pihak penjajah Jepun pada tahun 1942 kerana ia menjadi ancaman kapada mereka .Kemudian pada 17 Oktober 1942 ditubuhkan pula Partai Kebangsaan Melayu Malaya (PKMM) di Ipoh . PKMM terdiri dari gabungan pertubuhan-pertubuhan :-

1. Angkat Pemuda Insaf ( API ) yang dipimpin Ahmad Boestamam.

2.Angkatan Wanita Sedar ( AWAS ) yang dipimpin Shamsiah Fakeh.

3.Barisan Tani Malaya (BATAS) yang dipimpin oleh Musa Ahmad.

4.Jabatan Kerja Melayu (JKM) yang dipimpin Alimin dan Abdullah CD.

5.Hizbul Muslimin yang dipimpin Us.Abu Bakar al Baqir dan Dr.Burhanuddin al Hilmi.

6.Gerakan Angkatan Muda (GERAM) yang dipimpin A.Aziz Ishak.

7.Kesatuan Buruh seMalaya pimpinan Abdullah CD.

8.Pan Malayan Federation of Trade Union pimpinan Abdullah CD.

9.Kesatuan Opera Melayu

10.Persatuan Pemandu Teksi

11.Majlis Agama Tertinggi se Malaya (MATA) pimpinan Abu Bakat al Baqir.

Apabila penjajah British kembali menjajah negara ini mereka telah menganjurkan penubuhan UMNO pada 11 Mei 1948 yang boleh bekerjasama dengan mereka . PKMM adalah sebuah partai politik yang enggan bekerjasama dengan pihak penjajah dan kewujudannya menjadi ancaman kapada mereka . Pada 18 Jun 1948 PKMM diharamkan oleh penjajah . Bekas ahli PKMM tiada jalan lain selain menyertai UMNO, sebahagian yang lain pula menyertai Partai PETA( Pembela Tanah Air ) yang ditubuhkan selepas PKMM diharamkan dan sebilangan kecil bergabung dengan pihak Komunis di hutan untuk memulakan perjuangan gerila . Saya cukup menyanjung pengorbanan mereka yang yang saya nyatakan saperti diatas kerana pengorbanan mereka adalah sangat ikhlas dan jujur .Mithalnya Ishak Hj.Muhamad seorang pelajar lepasan Malay College MCKK, Kuala Kangsar yang kemudiannya menjadi seorang Majistret , boleh hidup senang jika terus bekerja dengan penjajah , tetapi memilih untuk bekerja sebagai wartawan dimana beliau boleh menggunakan mata penanya untuk membakar semangat orang Melayu pada masa itu .Begitu juga dengan Ahmad Boestamam yang sanggup merengkok dalam penjara penjajah berpuluh tahun lamanya kerana enggan bekerjasama dengan mereka . Pada masa itu kebanyakkan orang Melayu cenderung dengan pemaham Presiden Soekarno untuk menubuhkan Empayar Melayu yang dipanggil Melayu Raya meliputi Indonesia, Malaya, Singapura,Sabah,Sarawak ,Brunei Filipina dan Pattani ( Selatan Thailand ). Takutkan ianya akan menjadi ancaman, pihak penjajah mengharamkan PKMM dan menaja penubuhan UMNO yang setuju/patuh dengan mereka - itulah cara ' pecah dan perintah ' ( divide and rule ) . Beberapa pejuang negara ini terpaksa lari ke Indonesia kerana mereka dikehendaki tangkap oleh penjajah Inggeris .Mithalnya Ibrahim Hj.Yaakub yang menyertai TNI ( Tentera Nasional Indonesia ) hingga menjadi seorang General .Beliau meninggal dunia di Indonesia .

Mereka ibarat lilin yang membakar diri dan terpinggir dalam lipatan sejarah serta tidak diketahui oleh generasi baru .Harapan saya satu hari nanti sejarah ini akan diperbetulkan , kerana tiada siapa boleh membohongi sejarah .

Kemerdekaan negara hendaklah diikuti dengan pembenaan minda yang bebas dan merdeka juga.

Jarang sekali bagi saya menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu, walaupun menulis kapada anak-anak saya sendiri.Bukanlah saya mengagongkan Bahasa Inggeris ,bahasa penjajah ini ,tetapi entah mengapa saya lebih selesa menggunakannya . Kali ini saya tergerak untuk menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu oleh kerana beberapa hari lagi ialah hari ulang tahun kemerdekaan negara kita Malaysia.Adalah tidak patriotik jika saya menulis didalam Bahasa Inggeris pada waktu ini .

31 Ogos 1957 mengingatkan saya kapada tarikh kemerdekaan Malaya-nama negara kita pada masa itu .Pada masa itu saya baru berumur 10 tahun dan bersekolah dalam darjah 3 dan belum mengerti apa erti kemerdekaan , selain slogan 'Merdeka' yang sering kedengaran dilaungkan melalui corong-corong radio ataupun laungan pada upacara-upacara yang diadakan di peringkat daerah dimana kami tinggal - Sabak Bernam . Namun begitu sebelum itu saya sering mendengar pidato-pidato Presiden Soekarno yang penuh semangat melalui Radio Republik Indonesia yang diikuti oleh aruah bapa saya .Beliau adalah peminat setia Presiden Soekarno. Dari mulut Soekarno-lah mula-mula saya mendengar laungan 'merdeka' yang penuh semangat itu .

Tahun demi tahun berjalan saya dapat merasakan perubahan yang berlaku dalam kampong dan Pekan di daerah tempat kami tinggal hasil pembangunan dan nikmat kemerdekaan .Demikian juga saya telah berjaya meneruskan pelajaran di Sekolah Inggeris .Bangganya saya pada masa itu kerana dapat menguasai bahasa bekas penjajah negara ini .Tetapi ini tidaklah bermaana bahawa saya menyanjungi penjajah. Mereka bukan sahaja mengaut kekayaan dari negara kita ini , tetapi kita juga telah diotek-otekkan serta dipersendakan seolah-olah kita ini tidak setaraf dengan bangsa mereka. Kita bertuah kerana mendapat pemimpin-pemimpin saperti Tun Razak dan Tun Dr.Ismail yang benar-benar jujur dan ikhlas untuk membangunkan negara ini dan memberikan kesejahteraan kapada rakyat negara ini .Berbanding kebanyakkan pemimpin yang ada sekarang yang hanya mementingkan faedah untuk diri mereka dan konco-konco mereka .Itulah hasil pembangunan yang hanya mementingkan material sahaja dan mengesampingkan pembangunan rohaniah . Bagi mereka wang adalah segalanya yang bisa membeli apa sahaja dengan wang ringgit tersebut sehingga maruah juga dapat dijualbelikan. Bagi saya kemerdekaan negara hendaklah juga diikuti dengan pembangunan minda yang bebas dan merdeka juga.

Selepas 48 tahun negara ini merdeka harapan saya kapada bangsaku supaya mereka turut dapat menikmati erti sebenar kemerdekaan .Janganlah hanya leka dengan jeritan/laungan merdeka sahaja sedangkan hidup kita masih dibelenggu dengan kemiskinan manakala bangsa-bangsa lain hidup menikmati kekayaan. Kehidupan kita hendaklah lebih baik daripada kehidupan sebelumnya . Sungguh menyayat hati setiap kali melihatkan rayuan-rayuan melalui TV dan media cetak dari mereka yang hidup dalam kedaifan . Sepatutnya tiada lagi kedaifan didalam sebuah negara merdeka seperti Malaysia .Banggakah kita melaungkan ' Merdeka ' sedangkan ada kedaifan diantara kita ?

Furious and frustrated - another petrol and diesel price hike.

I am really furious and frustrated today after hearing the news over Radio Television Malaysia that there is another petrol , diesel and gas price hike beginning tomorrow morning. This time 20 sens for diesel and 10 sens for petrol per litre . I almost could not control my anger with the government of Malaysia for making the price hike possible . How not to be angry ,when there has been a number of price hikes in a year ( three times of which the latest was in July ,barely 2 months ago ), while my income through my pension remains the same ? I would not have been very mad at it, if it just means only petrol is affected. Unfortunately , it would almost certainly be followed by the price increases of other goods and services too . This means another inflation in this country .The government gave reason that it can no longer afford to subsidise petrol and diesel as a result of price increase of crude oil in the world market . But the government deliberately refused to admit that it also gain from the crude oil price increase because Malaysia is also an exporter of crude oil .I can't understand why the government could not continue to 'subsidise' petrol from the profit it gain from the increase of price of crude oil ? Oil in this country do not belong to Petronas only . It belongs to the people of Malaysia .Why can't the people of this country get the benefil from it ? Why only Petronas and it's staff enjoy that benefit ? If the government is of the opinion that it can no longer afford to subsidise petrol and diesel, we the ordinary people of this country is also of the opinion that we can no longer afford to bear the price hikes of almost everything. On behalf of the people in similar position as mine , I appeal to the government to be reasonable to us . We can no longer stand the inflation .

As an excuse for the price increase of petrol and diesel the government are always in the habit of comparing the price of petrol and diesel in the neighbouring countries without consideration of the buying power of the people of that country .It is therefore not fair to compare that way.Now , stop pulling us by the nose .

Entry made on 1st.August 2005.

I was watching the morning's programme over TV3 where Minister in the Prime Minister's Department with Special Functions responsible for Finance , was interviewed perhaps to explain to the public reasons for the price hike of petrol,diesel and gas .When asked why the government could not continue subsidising petrol, diesel and gas from the profits the government gets from the price increase of crude oil, the Minister explained that it would be unfair to the people who do not have motor cycles and motor cars . What a naive explainations ? Don't the Minister know that the price hikes of petrol and diesel would snowballed into price increases of other goods and services which eventually would affect everybody including those who do not have motor cycles and cars too ?

I am sad , because the Minister had failed to convince us , and so to safeguard the welfare of the ordinary people of this country .

Entry made on 2nd.August 2005

True enough as expected via the TV3 8.00 pm. news this evening ,it was announced by the Minister responsible for Tenaga Nasional , that there would be a hike in electricity's tarrifs because according to him Tenaga Nasional could no longer stand the pinch of the world's oil price increase .Any decent thinking person would know what to expect as a result of the electricity tarrif's hike .Obviusly , an inflation to the economy and a burden to the rakyat , especially the fixed income earners like me .

10th. July is my Birthday .

Yesterday 10th.July , was my birthday .When I was young I used to think that men 58 years of age were considered already very old . .One of that age was often described as unproductive , has nothing left to offer and perhaps just a burden to family and society. Today , I almost do not believe myself that I am actually already 58 years old .Contrary to my earlier assumption about 50 and above old men , I do not feel that I am less capable than that of men below 50 years. I feel , I am as strong and as active as a horse .I think I am still good looking and feeling great and very much looking forward to the future . I am still very eager to see the world and God willing I'll be on the track to pursue my love to travel .In other words I do not feel being old at all . Perhaps the only different of myself today and that of a few years ago is that I am a bit more sober , mature and a little bit more religious than before . It is only natural for men of my age to experience what I am experiencing today .

Besides receiving Birthday wishes from my wife ,my son Azman and Alisya my 6 year old grand daughter , no one else seems to remember to do so .I guess they are too busy with their chores ?

In the evening I was treated to a pizza dinner .

London under attack .

Today through the TV news we were told that London was attacked by the terrorists. Underground train transport in the city of London was completely disrupted .It is believed more than 50 lives were killed and a few hudreds were injured .Prime Minister Blair was quick to accuse the Muslim terrorists as being responsible even though investigation has yet to reveal any evidence towards that .Coincidently a secret organisation linked to the al Qaedah Europe group claimed responsibility in the name of Islam .Any way the claim has yet to be verified .However I would like to convey my condolence to the families of those casualties .

As a Muslim I do not rejoice over what had happened in London ,nor do I support the action done by the so called Muslim terrrorist group if they actually did the atrocities .The action was certainly against the teachings of Islam for whatever reasons they may have .The religion of 'Islam' comes from the word 'salam' which means 'peace' .The religion prohibits the killing of innocent people . Whoever claim thay they are permitted to do such has obviously diagressed from the true teachings of Islam .

However tonight's TV3 programme ' Majalah 3 ' showed the atrocities of the Israelis on the Palestinians. TV3 journalists had the opportunity to visit Palestinian refugee camps in Lebanon and Syria and the sites of the famous massacre of Shatra and Shatilla .I could not help myself and I cried after witnessing the atrocities on innocent people by the Israelis and obviously with the blessing of the Americans and it's allies .Now , I could understand why the Palestinians , the Arabs and the Muslims in general , hated the Israelis , the Americans and it's allies so much .

My sympathy on the casualties of London naturally withers.