24th.August 2007.
Eileen,
Assalamualaikum.......................................and I wish you a safe journey back to Dublin. I hope you are happy and eager to begin the new semester of your studies . I have always reminded you that your main task now is to complete your medical studies more than anything else .It would be a sad thing if you have any other priority other than why in the first place you were sent to Dublin .
Ever since I came to know of your relationship with that Kelantan man I was so stressed, worried and sad as to why ,you were so stupid as to allow yourself to get involved into a relationship which could interfere or may even disrupt your studies ? Why allow yourself into a situation that would only complicate your life ? I reckon you were worried that you would not be able to find a husband if you wait till you graduate. Don't you know of a ' hadith' that says , God decides for us on 3 matters ie. our bounties ( rezeki ) , life and death ( ajal & maut ) and marriages ( jodoh pertemuan ) . God already decide for us on these 3 matters , thus we should not worry too much over it because that is not our work/job . That is God's job . Just because you are so worried about the matter , you simply catches anyone that passes by , without realizing that you could be making a big mistake and that you would regret it later on . Now , one of the criteria that our Prophet Muhammad ( pbh.) have laid down in choosing a life partner is what we termed it as ' kufu ' or sekufu which literally means status or suitability either in terms of disparity of income , education , intellectuality and social standings . How can there be a sekufu if for example he only attain a SPM qualification ? You would then be thinking on different wave-lengths which could lead to a conflict . This may sounds trivial but it would really have a big impact on your relationship later on , otherwise our Prophet Muhammad ( pbh.) would not have listed that as a criteria . So , before committing yourself further into the matter , you should really-really think hard and wisely so that you would not regret later on .
You must ask yourself would your parents want to see you lead a unhappy life ? No normal parents would want to see their children unhappy. They would want the best for their children .So, please be reasonable and heed their advice .For the moment you should not think of anything else except your studies . Why should you be unduly worried over something which is not within your domain/power ? After all most of your colleagues are still not yet married ? Why should you want to follow in the footsteps of those few who are married , which does not necessarily mean that they have made the wise decision ? Now a days , ladies should not put too much faith in marriages . We can see around us of so many failed marriages .Therefore you must equip yourself with a good education which would guarantee you of a good , stable income and a bright future. Unlike those men of yester years, most men today are lacking in responsility qualities and they only look for shortcuts in order to have a good life .
For heaven's sake please do not make a decision which does not have the blessings of your parents . It would hurt us hard and would not be easily forgiven if that happens .Rather then being proud of your achievement , it would however bring us shame . Remember the sacrifices of your parents to see you through in getting the scholarship to be where you are. Do not think it is easy for a retired man like me setting aside a few thousand ringgits every year so as to enable you to fly home to be with us . We have to dig down deep into our pockets from the little savings that we have , just for your convenience . Don't you feel guilty that you could have deprived your younger sibling of that covenience too . Therefore please remember the sacrifices of your parents and that of your siblings too . So do you still want to break their hearts .
As parents we do not want anything in return from our children .We would just want to see them lead happy lives . That is sufficient to make us happy . I have always reminded your mother that we should not expect anything from our children . We should be able to sustain our lives from our own resources till the end of day .Our only request now is for you to concentrate on your studies so as to enable you to bring home the scroll ( degree ) that would ensure you of a good future . Without that , that man of yours would probably abandon you too .
I have said long enough and I hope you would understand what I have been trying to put across . I have been saying from my heart and it was done with sincerity . I hope you will accept this positively .
May Allah bless and protect you . Amin .
Dad.
p/s. Enclosed EU 500/- to start with your new semester .
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