We love her .

Last night our daughter Eileen left Malaysia for Dublin to continue her 4th.Year of Medicine at the University College, Dublin , Ireland . All members of my family were at the airport to bid her farewell . She was in Malaysia for about 2 months for her holidays . No matter whatever misunderstandings that we have had between us , we still love her . We love her not because she is pursuing a noble profession but most of all we love her just because she is our daughter . At times I admit I felt so hurt and heart break due to her behavior which did not conform to our expectations . Sometimes I cried in silence blaming myself why I had failed to bring her up to be a good and obedient child . Frankly , my other children had not caused me to be in such a predicament as hers. I had almost gave up on her .Luckily God was always there to pacify me and to give me guidance in handling such a situation .She was also at loggerheads with her mother and I knew my wife cried in silence too . Sometimes I just pretended not to notice that tears were flowing from her eyes . However ,I was always there to coax her to bring her back to her feet .

I do not intend to brood on the past and my only hope is that she would concentrate on her studies .She should make it as a priority because only that would ensure her of a bright future .She would be making a grave mistake if she has other priorities . I do not want her to complicate her life with other matters .

May Allah guide and protect her . Amin .

A letter to Eileen.

( This letter was meant for our daughter Eileen before her departure back to Dublin .It was handed to her before she boarded the plane .)

24th.August 2007.

Eileen,

Assalamualaikum.......................................and I wish you a safe journey back to Dublin. I hope you are happy and eager to begin the new semester of your studies . I have always reminded you that your main task now is to complete your medical studies more than anything else .It would be a sad thing if you have any other priority other than why in the first place you were sent to Dublin .

Ever since I came to know of your relationship with that Kelantan man I was so stressed, worried and sad as to why ,you were so stupid as to allow yourself to get involved into a relationship which could interfere or may even disrupt your studies ? Why allow yourself into a situation that would only complicate your life ? I reckon you were worried that you would not be able to find a husband if you wait till you graduate. Don't you know of a ' hadith' that says , God decides for us on 3 matters ie. our bounties ( rezeki ) , life and death ( ajal & maut ) and marriages ( jodoh pertemuan ) . God already decide for us on these 3 matters , thus we should not worry too much over it because that is not our work/job . That is God's job . Just because you are so worried about the matter , you simply catches anyone that passes by , without realizing that you could be making a big mistake and that you would regret it later on . Now , one of the criteria that our Prophet Muhammad ( pbh.) have laid down in choosing a life partner is what we termed it as ' kufu ' or sekufu which literally means status or suitability either in terms of disparity of income , education , intellectuality and social standings . How can there be a sekufu if for example he only attain a SPM qualification ? You would then be thinking on different wave-lengths which could lead to a conflict . This may sounds trivial but it would really have a big impact on your relationship later on , otherwise our Prophet Muhammad ( pbh.) would not have listed that as a criteria . So , before committing yourself further into the matter , you should really-really think hard and wisely so that you would not regret later on .

You must ask yourself would your parents want to see you lead a unhappy life ? No normal parents would want to see their children unhappy. They would want the best for their children .So, please be reasonable and heed their advice .For the moment you should not think of anything else except your studies . Why should you be unduly worried over something which is not within your domain/power ? After all most of your colleagues are still not yet married ? Why should you want to follow in the footsteps of those few who are married , which does not necessarily mean that they have made the wise decision ? Now a days , ladies should not put too much faith in marriages . We can see around us of so many failed marriages .Therefore you must equip yourself with a good education which would guarantee you of a good , stable income and a bright future. Unlike those men of yester years, most men today are lacking in responsility qualities and they only look for shortcuts in order to have a good life .

For heaven's sake please do not make a decision which does not have the blessings of your parents . It would hurt us hard and would not be easily forgiven if that happens .Rather then being proud of your achievement , it would however bring us shame . Remember the sacrifices of your parents to see you through in getting the scholarship to be where you are. Do not think it is easy for a retired man like me setting aside a few thousand ringgits every year so as to enable you to fly home to be with us . We have to dig down deep into our pockets from the little savings that we have , just for your convenience . Don't you feel guilty that you could have deprived your younger sibling of that covenience too . Therefore please remember the sacrifices of your parents and that of your siblings too . So do you still want to break their hearts .

As parents we do not want anything in return from our children .We would just want to see them lead happy lives . That is sufficient to make us happy . I have always reminded your mother that we should not expect anything from our children . We should be able to sustain our lives from our own resources till the end of day .Our only request now is for you to concentrate on your studies so as to enable you to bring home the scroll ( degree ) that would ensure you of a good future . Without that , that man of yours would probably abandon you too .

I have said long enough and I hope you would understand what I have been trying to put across . I have been saying from my heart and it was done with sincerity . I hope you will accept this positively .

May Allah bless and protect you . Amin .

Dad.

p/s. Enclosed EU 500/- to start with your new semester .

The passing away of a fighter for the downthrodden.

12th. August 2007 was a date to be remembered not only by our family but also by many Malaysians who cares for the downthroddens . The late Abdul Razak Ahmad ( my wife's half brother ) who dedicated most of his life for the cause of the downthroddens passed away peacefully at about 1.20 am. at the Tuanku Aminah Hospital,Johor Bahru. In actual fact ,I have heard of his name long before I got married to my wife and I have been admiring him since then . It has been my passion to read and reasearch on personalities who sacrifices for a noble cause . That is why personalities like the late Ibrahim Yaakub , Pak Sako , Ahmad Boestamam ,Dr.Burhanuddin Al-Hilmi ,Prof.Zulkifli Mohamad and even so-called Communists like Rashid Maidin, Shamsiah Fakeh ,Musa Ahmad and many more who were the pioneers of freedom fighters of this country .They were responsible for fanning the spirit of patriotism/nationalism in this country .For obvious political reasons their names were almost obliterated from our history books . In actual fact they were the unsung heroes for independence of this country . In the case of the late Abdul Razak Ahmad , he was fighting for the rights of those people from the low class of society who have no way to go to , to seek for redress . Abdul Razak found it incumbent upon him to lend his hand to help .Since he was a lawyer , he would provide them to have access to justice in a Court of Law .

Although I was not close to the late Abdul Razak Ahmad I could feel how his perceptions about life and what he fought for . Due to my profession as a Police officer people might think that we were in the opposite camps . But they did not know that deep inside my heart I feel I belong to that camp too . Only fate that made us land into the opposite camps .

Now that he had gone , not only that I have lost a person whom I had admired so much but also a senior member of the family . I hope and pray that his souls would rest in peace . Amin .

Ladies ,beware of opportunists .

What has been boggling my mind of late is why the present generation do not seem to understand the predicaments of their parents . They seem to forget that their parents are now retired and earning only a 1/3 of what they used to earn . Despite our explainations to them ,they refuse to understand the situation . They seem to think that we are as wealthy as before . They expect the same amount of pocket money for them to spend . We do not mind much too if they spend on useful things but they like to waste unnecessarily . They go shopping as if they are already working and earning .They frequent the mega supermarkets which are away from their houses .They fail to understand how hard it is to earn . Much more now that we do not earn any more except depending on our meagre pensions .With the rate of inflation in this country now ,most of us are badly hit by it . Since then we have tightened our belts to make ends meet .

Their attitude is perhaps due to their social activities .They use to mix with children of well to do families and they would feel out of place if they do not retain the same status . They fail to understand and accept the fact that they no more belong to that category or class of people .They look at material wealth as something the most to look for in this world .They are quick to form an opinion of someone who throw them with presents as someone who is good and generous and someone to look for .Their eyes are easily blinded by that so called generosity.They do not realize that , that person could be laying a trap on them . They forget that what makes a person successful in life is not the money or the wealth . What matters most is his/her attitude and character . No matter how rich and wealthy one is , if his/her character is down in the drain ,people would not look upon him /her . Even a multi millionaire could become bankrupt if he or she does not know how to take care of his/her property properly . As the Malay proverb says ,' Even a mountain load of wealth would be finished if it is plundered daily without consideration for the future ' .

The attitude of these children towards their parents is worrying .They do not heed the advice of their parents . They think that just because they are educated ,more so having an overseas education , they think all their decisions are right and do not need their parent's advice any more . They seem to forget that their parents had already tasted and undergone trials and tribulations of life much earlier . Due to their experience in life they could almost sense whether some one is sincere or not .They seem to forget that in this world there are opportunists out there looking for some one to prey on . Present day men has been noted as those who would look for someone whom thay could depend on .Men of today are different from those men of yester years . My generation of men( except for the few ) were those who were very responsible towards their families .They were the bread winners and the providers of their families . But today most of them are lazy and looking for shortcuts for an easy life by looking for wives whom they could depend on for survival .Thus they prefer marrying career ladies .That is why most of the housewives today are working . As such the ladies of today should be wary of them so that they would not regret later on . With due respect to the Kelantanese , the ladies are the bread winners of their families . This can be seen at the Kota Baru Central Market .The majority of the businesses are run by the ladies . This can also be seen at the shops in towns and villages most of the businesses whether big or small , are handled by the women /housewives . Their ladies had to slog from dawn till dusk and sometimes even longer but they waste their time at the coffee shops talking ' politics( nuts ) '. How do you expect the state of Kelantan to develop if they do not change their attitude ? Strangely , that attitude persists till today .It is hard to change them because it is already instill into their thick brain - to refuse changes .I am not against all Kelantanese but that is the fact of the the majority of them . Having been in the force for a number of years and having ample opportunity mixing with them till some of whom are even my good friends too , I know their characters pretty well . Under the pretext of following the footsteps of the holy Prophet Muhammad( pbh.) , they like to marry more than once or easily get divorce and marry another . It would be a bit odd for a Kelantanese man to marry an outsider because their ladies are much more cute and beautiful than from anywhere else . If they still do they must be up to something .

Recent price increases of essentials has been bothering most Malaysians.

Lately rising cost of living has been bothering most Malaysians . Price of things especially essential food items has been spiralling on the upword trend . Today over the TV3 Prime News was announced the price increse of batteries for vehicles .Reason for the price increase was because of the increase in price of plumbums in the world market .Obviously this price increase would snowballed into price increases of other related goods and services. The Ministry of Internal Trade and Consumers Affairs has failed the Malaysian public . Cries for affirmative actions on the part of the Enforcement Division of the Ministry of Internal Trade and Consumers Affairs has turned into deaf ears . The Ministry which is headed by a Sabahan has been ineffective . He only talks big but no action . It is high time for the Prime Minister to remove him and ship him back to where he comes from . The rakyat is suffering . The recent salary increments ( more appropriately called salary adjustments ) of government servants has failed to lessen any burden . Before they could enjoy the benefits ,retailers had already impose price increases of essential food items .

Over the same TV news today we were informed of the death of 5 in a family as a result of a fire in Kluang ,Johor. Electricity supply to the family's house was cut off by Tenaga Nasional for failure to pay the bills.The family had deferred payment of the bills because of the need of their 3 children who were studying in universities and college .The eldest at UPM , the second one at Universiti Tun Hussein Onn ,Batu Pahat and another at a Matriculation College . The husband was just a factory worker while the wife was a helper at a food stall .As a result they had to resort to using candles . Unfortunately this incident happened , when their house caught fire killing husband and wife and 3 of their children .This was a very pathetic incident which should not have happened in the so called rich and prosperous Malaysia . I wonder whether the TNB has any inkling of guilt feeling at all beacuse of their action , which had cost the lives of 5 innocent people .I almost cried learning of the poor parents who had sacrificed their lives for their children's education . Now that those remaining children are now left helpless as their only breadwinner ,their parents had gone .I wonder what would happen to them . I hope and pray that any good samaritan would come forward to assist them to continue with their education .

I know and understand well how it is to be poor because I was once also very poor . Only determination and our good education had lifted us from that pathetic situation .

This fateful incident should be an eye-opener for the government ,how serious the situation is that the rakyat has to live with .Many more incidents of similar nature would happen again in the future if the government fails to curtail the inflation rate of this country .

The passing away of a good uncle .

On 8th.Aug.2007 at about 5.00 pm. I received a call from my brother Muttakin informing me that our uncle Hj.Hussein was critically ill at the Ampang ,Hospital . A few minutes later I was informed by my cousin Yassin that our uncle had passed away . I was stunned for a moment and felt very sad upon hearing of his death because he was my last late father's surviving brother .

Spontaneously, I told my wife I wanted to visit his remains at his house in Kg.baru Ampang,Kuala Lumpur to show our last respect for him and that she should follow me . I was sad whe she told me that we should not go that day but to wait till the next day for his burial .I told her I might not be able to sleep that night if did not go because that uncle meant so much to me .Finally , after much argument and a small quarrel she agreed to go with me after our Maghrib prayers .We reached Kg.Baru ,Ampang just in time for me to perform mass Isyak prayers at the mosque just opposite my late uncle's house . After the prayer we went to the house . I then recited the verse 'Yassin' for my late uncle and pray to Allah that he would be accepted among the good faithfulls . We went back home at about midnight .We decided not to attend the burial .

The last time I saw my late uncle was about a year ago when he came to our house during my son's wedding . He was around 80 years old . He was the owner of a tailoring shop in Jalan Raja Muda , in Kuala Lumpur . My late uncle stayed almost 15 years in Mecca and Cairo where he had a tailoring shop there too .When he returned to Malaysia in the 1960s he continued his tailoring business in Kuala Lumpur .He got married a bit late and he is survived by his wife and five children . His only son is now following his footsteps to continue the family business .

What makes me feel indebted to him was whenever I came to Kuala Lumpur for my interview either to continue my studies or for a job , I would stay in his house ,then at Kg.Baru . This was because his house was the nearest to the venue of my interview . I still remember his house at that time which was just a wooden squatter house . When his house was demolished to let go for development he was allocated a piece of land at Kg.Baru ,Ampang ,where his house is today .

Like my late father , my uncle did not talk much . A very soft spoken person but very kind at heart . One thing good about him was I could see him at almost every weddings of our relatives .

Now ,I have lost a good uncle whom we would look for , either for advice or blessings . Perhaps it is my turn to be the old man in the family ,whom they ( the younger generation ) would look for .

Well , that is life . May Allah accept him among the good faithfulls . Amin .

Quick updates .

I have not been updating my blog for some time due to my busy schedule . Nothing much significant happened .Our daughter Eileen Farhana is back from Dublin for her long holidays . She would be going back to Dublin in early September 2007 to continue her 4th Year medical studies .

Our daughter Farin has reported back to her university at UTM Skudai after her 2 months holiday, to continue her 3rd.Year Electrical Engineering course . This time we allowed her to bring her Perodua Kembara which I officially gave her , to her campus to facilitate easy access to her classes . Any way I drove the car all the way down to Johor Bahru . I came back to Klang by express bus the next day .

On 21st July 2007 we went to Seremban to attend my old colleague ,Dato Kamarulzaman's son wedding . He married the NTV7 news reader Normanizam Dali . I had the opportunity to meet some of my old friends and subordinates who also attended the reception . As we were in Seremban we also took the opportunity to go to my wife's half sister Faridah's house . She was obviously surprised to see us at her house without prior notice . Unfortunately her husband Zaki was not at home . Any way it was a nice gesture on our part trying to unite the family .

On 28th July 2007 we ( my wife and Shidah ,Azman's wife )went to Serdang, Kedah to attend my former police detective Jamaluddin's daughter's wedding .Azman could not follow us as he he was having classes at UiTM ,Shah Alam where he is doing his MBA . For long I have been longing to see Jamaluddin in his house in Kedah . He is now retired and settled in his own village . Although we worked together only for a number years that was when I was posted to Segamat, Johor in the 1970s , the short stint had a great impact on me .It was from him that I learned the tricks of the trade of Police work . Day and night we were either on crime prevention rounds or laying in ambush for the criminal suspects .Then we would have our meals together . He is so dear to me and I regard him as a brother ( abang angkat ) .Jamaluddin retired much earlier than me and we were out of touch for a good number of years after that.He kept away from me because I was unable to fulfill his requests for a transfer and promotion .When I left Segamat he was also left in a corner by the officers there so much so that he was reverted into the uniform branch . I managed to trace him back in Serdang last year through the good office of DSP Zainal ,the OCPD of Serdang who happened to be my former subordinate officer in Bukit Aman .Last year when my son Azman got married he and his family came to see us in Penang and became part of our entourage to the bride's house . Now we are in constant in touch via the phone.

After about 3 hours in Jamaluddin's house , we then left for Penang . In Penang ,I had difficulty getting a hotel room as most of them were fully booked . It seemed that there was a Christian's holy celeberation ( St.Anne's ) and worshippers came all over the country . Luckily we managed to get the last room at Naza Hotel in Tg.To' Kong . After a refreshing bath and prayer , we sent Shidah to her house at Baya Baru which was in the vicinity of USM . It was a 5 storey flat and her family was on the 4th floor . I met her father downstairs for a while . As he was quite busy with his work , I left him and went up to his house . After being served with coffee and fried cempedak we left to go back to our hotel . On the way we stopped at a Nasi Kandar restaurant to have our dinner . We noticed that the price of food in Penang was still cheaper than anywhere else .

The next morning Shidah came to our hotel room with her father . Shidah's father apologised to us because he was unable to be with us in his house the previous day as he was busy with his work , selling durians .

We left Penang at about 12.00 noon . On our journey home we stopped at Kuala Kangsar town to buy some handcrafts and ' labu Sayong ' -drinking water container . We reached home at about 8.30 pm .