Holy Land of Mecca .Here we come.

Today 26th.October or rather 27th.October 0130 hrs. we ( my wife and I )are to report ourselves to the Tabung Haji Complex at Kelana Jaya to begin our piligrimage to the Holy Land - Mecca . I am very excited and very much looking forward for the journey . This would be our second pilgrimage .Our earlier pilgrimage was in 1991 , 19 years ago . I have resolved that this time I would want the pilgrimage to fulfill all my obligations to the Almighty so that all my good deeds is accepted by Him . I am determined to leave all my bad habits and be a better person when I come back in December . In know that this journey is not an easy one . I would have to undergo all challenges, trials and tribulations be it from fellow pilgrimage mates or from God itself . I have to be resilient all the time . I hope and pray so that we will be strong and that Allah would always protect us in facing all these challenges .I also hope and pray that our loved ones whom we are going to leave during this pilgrimage would be as strong as we are . I hope they would also pray for us . I would certainly miss our grand daughters . I am sure they would miss us too . Any way we would be contactable via our handphones .

Till we come home . Bye .

6 more days of fasting and I did with ease.

Just 3 days after Hari Raya ( eid ) , I continued my fasting for the non cumpulsion ( sunnah ) ritual which we normaslly do during the month of Syawal ( Muslim Calender ) . I am glad , I did it with ease . I was also quite busy then with having to go up and down to the Tabung Haji office to prepare for our trip to Mecca .

This would be our second Haj . Our first Haj was about 18 years ago , although in between we did go to Mecca to perform the ' umrah ' ( the small Haj ) a few times . Our purpose in going for our second Haj is to rectify whatever mistakes we could have done during our first Haj . Secondly my wife would want to perform the Haji Badal ( ie. to perform the Haj on behalf of her deceased mother ) . Actually we had planned this trip a few years ago and originally my sister in-law was to follow us .The trip was postponed a number of time because my sister in-law was not ready to make thr trip . This year I told my wife that with or without her sister we have to go before we get too old and health would not allow us . It is true as said my the religious scholars, that if you not are ready bodily and spiritually you would not be able to make it . Although she is quite well off , she would give all sorts of excuses not to make the trip .As such I had given up hope on her .

Our trip would be on 27th. 0430 hrs via KLIA and would go straight to Mecca via Medina . No overnight stay in Madina but instead we would be taken straight to Mecca . However we would be in Medina after the Haj .

There was quite a lenghthy preparation - like the health inspection procedures , getting ourselves innoculated with meeningitis and H1N1 influenza injections , to get ready with the right clothings etc and Haj courses/seminars to attend .

I hope and pray that we would be able to perform our Haj successfully .

A quiet ,simple and modest Eid.

This year's Eid ( Hari Raya Idilfitri ) was a quiet , simple and modest one .On the eve of Hari Raya I and and my wife visited my late father's grave at Seksyen 21, Shah Alam . How ever I was a bit disappointed when I saw there was no sign of any other visitors to the grave despite of me sending smss to all my brothers and sisters reminding them to do so . I thought to myself how easy they had forgotten the sacrifices of our late father .Probably they were not as grateful as I am for what our late father had done for us . Ironically they are the one who are enjoying the fruits from my late father's estate .

Hari Raya was on a Friday and as such there would be two sermons to be heard in the Mosque . Some believed it was not a good omen . I skipped the Ididlfitri prayers not because I believed in the that belief but because I was not well in the morning . There was a satisfactory flow of visitors to my house from my old friends who still maintain close contact with me . At about 1.00 pm I had to excuse myself in order for me to go the Mosque to attend the Friday prayer .

I did not have the opportunity to visit my relatives like I did the previous years . That was because we were quite busy with preparation for us to perform our Haj in November . The following week we had to go the Johor Bahru to send our daughter to her campus in Skudai. Johor . I was a bit happy because this year I had the opportunity to visit the grave of my late father in law in Muar and my late mother in law in Johor Bahru . I prayed -they would be accepted by Allah among faithfulls in Heaven .

My 63rd. Birthday .

Today 10th.July 2010 is my Birthday . I am exactly 63 years old . When I was a young boy each time I looked at a 60 year old man I would feel that the man was very old . I reckon young boys and girls of today when looking at me they would feel the same as I did . Contrary to what they think of me , I do not feel that old at all . I feel I am still young and that there are many older people like Dr.Mahathir and many others who are still fit and surviving . I believe that if one thinks that he is old he would deteriorate and would really becomes old . This is especially true - when whenever I go back to my kampong , I would see my old colleagues there who would look old ,although some of them were actually several years younger than me .In other words we have to feel young in order to look young . However you should not misuse this to behave like a young men doing those nonsence like a young men use to do .

I am thankful to my daughter in-law Shidah and my son Azman who treated me to a nice home cooked lunch . Shidah also took the trouble to bake a Birthday cake for me .Thanks also to my daughter Ezreen Farina who was in UTM JB for her wishes even though it was just through her sms . Their concern and remembrance had really touched my hearts . I do not expect anything of value from my children . It is sufficient just by showing some concern and kinds words and wishes . Then that would make me smile all day long.

The day I witnessed a robbery .

For the first time in my life on Saturday ,12th June 2010 ,I witnessed an armed robbery`which took place right infront of my house in Klang . Worst still the victim was my own daughter . On 12th.June 2010 evening my daughter , Dr.Eileen Farhana left our house in Klang to attend her friend's wedding in Petaling Jaya . She drove her brand new Honda City car BKU 8080 which she took delivery just about two weeks earlier .

At about 11.45 pm. she reached home and was just about to enter the gate of our house ,suddenly two Malay youths on a motor cycle without safety helmets on them and armed with a parang approached the right hand side of her car and smashed the driver's side window glass screen and demanded my daughter surrender her handbag . Infact she was about to hand over her handbag but she could reached for it as it was under the pasenger's seat on her left . I was in my bedroom on the first floor of the house facing the front , heard a loud bang and the cries from my daughter . I opened the upstairs door which directly faced the road and saw the two youths smashing the window screen of my daughter's car . I shouted for them to stop but they just ignored my shouts and continued the smashing . By then two cars stopped but the occupants did not do any thing to help . I guess they were too afraid to do any thing . After about 5 minutes the criminals left without getting anything . But after a short distance they made a U turn and came back to my daughter's car again and continued with the smashing even harder . The window screen did not easily break down because it was fitted with an anti theft film . Again I shouted for help and later I came down to the gate . The criminals left without getting a single sen .

I then called for the Police Radio car to come to whom my daughter later lodged a Police report . My daughter was slightly hurt on her face as a resulut of a cut by the glass window that broke down . My son Azman then sent her to the Hospital . Later I sent her to the District Police HQ to have statement recorded by the Inspector .

What made me angry with the Police was their ' tidak apa ' attitude . They did not seem to be interested in solving the case . The investigation was a slip shot one . No effort were made to view the video camera of my neighbour despite being told that those criminals could have been cought on the camera . No wonder the rate of crimes are on the increase in my neighbour hood .The radio cars are also not seen patrolling our area although the government had recently increased the number of the radio cars in the district . Each day public confidence on the Police are deteriorating .

For no valid reason my daughter had to fork out RM 750.00 for repair to her new car .

The death of my last aunty .( My late father's sister )

On 24th May 2010 at about 0630 hrs. I received a telephone call from my cousin informing me that his mother had passed away in Sungai Besar ,Sabak Bernam. His mother was my auntie and my late father's youngest sister . She was the last surviving ( till 24th Mat 2010 ) aunty from my father's side . I then called my brothers and sisters to inform them of her death . ( Later I found out that none of them went to pay their last respect except for Muttakin )

Accompanioed by my wife I left home at about 0730 hrs. to go to Sungai Besar to pay my last respect for my auntie . She had a stroke about 5 years ago and had remained in bed since then .She could not get off her bed and had to be helped each time she wanted to sit up . It was hell for her and hell to for her daughter who was taking care of her for such a long time .

We reached the house at about 0900 hrs and there was already many people there . I met a few cousins . The cousin who called me had yet to arrive .While waiting for the burial which was to be after mid day prayers ,my cousin Asmawi asked me to follow him to Sg.Air Tawar ,Sabak Bernam to see the China man who took care fo his coconut plantation . From him I came to know that he was also the one taking care of my late father's coconut plantation . My mother is now holding in trust over the plantation .

We came back to the house and was just in time for the last prayers .

I did not attend the funeral . We then left Sungai Besar back to Klang.

Family gathering turned into bizarre rituals .

Coming back to the ' saka story ' ( bad spirit or satan ) . We had a family gathering in Port Dickson on 14th May 2010 . My younger brother Muttakin whose wife was the PRO of Majlis Perbandaran Petaling Jaya booked 3 MPPD apartments in Port Dickson . My mother ,brothers and sisters stayed in those apartments while I and my family stayed in our own family's apartment , a few KMs away . Without my prior knowledge my brother in-law Makmor ,had arranged for the so called a ' faith healer ' or ' bomoh ' to perform some rituals for the so called ' saka cleansing ' . because according to the bomoh all of us had been struck by the ' sakas ' and he needed to perform certain rituals to rid us off from the ' sakas/bad spirits/satans ' .

For that each family had to make available 3 metres of white cloth , some kenanga flowers , some lime fruits and some ayam kampong eggs . In the beginning I was against such activities which could lead us to ' syirik ' /loosing track from the true path of Islam . However my brothers and sisters persuaded us to join them since we were already there . In the end I relented although deep inside my heart I was against it . I also told my wife that we would just follow them just out of respect for my mother who was also present then . I did not want to hurt her feelings .

At about past midnight all of us except my mother who was incapicitated were told to go the sea off our hotel appartments . Each of us were given a bottle of water mixed with the kenanga flowers .Then we were told to gulp the water and swallowed it in our throat while submerged under the sea water . The same process were also made for the ayam kampong eggs and lime water - 3 process in all . The ' bomoh ' chanted some doa after everything was finished . It looked silly . I was slightly ashamed and quickly left the place back to our apartment . Luckily there was no one else except for our family .

From the above experience I noticed there are still quite a number of us who believe everything the so called ' bomoh ' tell us . The religion too accept the fact that there are evil spirits and satans in this world . This is further aggravated by many medical practitioners who accept the fact that there are unknow sickness/diseases which cannot be diagnosed by modern medicines .

I just do not know whom to blame for this situation .

It is difficult not to believe the ' saka ' story

My third younger brother Samson was admitted to the HUKM Bandar Tun Razak for the 2nd.time in a row . He was first admitted to the ICU at the HUKM on 20th March 2010 and remained there till 24 th.March . He was sent to the hospital by my brother in-law Makmor who happened to visit him at his house in Kg.Pandan .He was diagnosed for having lung and heart problem . I did not know what actually was the problem with him . One thing I knew about him was that he was a heavy smoker . So one could assumed what was actually the problem with him .He was allowed to return home on 24th.March , probably because he asked to be allowed to go home . After one day at home he was admitted again on 25th March .This time he was sent by his wife . My sister in-law sent a sms message requesting us to pray for his well being. I was a bit alarmed after reading the message .

The next day on 26th Mach ( Friday ) evening we went to the HUKM again and this time we saw him at the ICU .We could not speak to him . According to his wife he was talking nonsence all the time and he was not the usual person . He often mentioned about ' other beings ' that had been haunting him .

On 28th.March 2010 morning my sister in-law called to inform me that my brother Samson had been pleading to her to have him taken out from the hospital .She sought my help to talk to him so that he remained at the hospital . The same evening we again visited my brother at the hospital . My fourth younger brother Dermawan came along with us .Outside the ward we met my mother and brother in-law Makmor and Shafiee .Later a bomoh that was arranged by Makmor came into the ward in an attempt to remove the ' sakas ' . I did not know what he did inside Samson's room because during that time I went to the surau to have my ' asar ' prayers . Later I was told that according to the ' bomoh ' , there were a few ' sakas ' ( other beings ) in his body which he inherited from our late father . These so called ' other beings ' have got to be removed otherwise they would keep on bothering him . According to my brother in-law Makmor , the bomoh managed to remove the ' sakas ' - six of them in all . On the way out of the ward the bomoh also removed 2 more 'sakas ' from Samson's son Zuid and one more from daughter Shimah . While having a meal at the HUKM cafetaria after that , the ' bomoh ' asked Makmor who was the woman in a wheel chair whom he saw outside the ward , obviously referring to my mother . According to him she too had some ' sakas ' that need to be removed . Makmor had arranged to remove the ' sakas ' from my mother after his ' umrah ' trip which is due to be on 11th April .

We left the hospital at about 7.00 pm .

I kept on monitoring about my brother's condition by calling my sister in-law almost every day . Each day his health was improving better .

On 4th.April 2010 evening we went to visit my brother at the HUKM again.Upon arrival at his ward we noticed that he was being taken out of the ICU and transferred to the ordinary ward . He was obviously getting better . He could speak and was able to have his meal . I was told that the doctor too was surprised to find out the improvement in his health .

So , it is difficult not to believe in this ' saka ' story . Previously , I would assumed that people wo talk about it were those who were not strong spiritually . After seeing with my own eyes about this so called ' saka ' , I will not comment about it any more . I leave everything to God . Allah knows best .

The story of a sad old man .

Yesterday I met an old friend whom I have not met for many years . He was quite a successful man with four children whom all have graduated from the universities . He retired as a senior government servant with quite a handsome pension . He also had accumulated some properties through his prudent expenditure and investment ventures during his service . During his young days , I knew he was quite careful in his spending . He never simply waste his money on unnecessary things . Thus he is quite well off today and rightfully he should be a happy man .

To my surprise he told me that he was not happy at all contrary to most others would normally think of him . At first I thought he was just kidding but when I looked at his watery eyes , I began to slowly believe him . How could this be ? He is not short of money because apart from his pensions he was also earning from rentals from his shops and houses . He has no more commitments as the children have already graduated from universities overseas and locally . What made him feel so miserable ?

I tried to pinch some info here and there just liked I was still a Police officer . I managed to hook in some informations and the rest just putting two and two together .He was obviously not happy with his marriage life . At first he was reluctant to tell me but after being convinced that I was there to help him , he finally relented . He then told me that of late his wife had acted indifferently . Perhaps because now that the children were already on their own feet , she felt that there was no need for the husband to be around . She is no more the good obedient wife like she used to be and instead become very bossy and abusive . To him she is no more a wife but instead a ' monster ' . Contrary to the teachings of Islam - that whatever the wife does with sincerety would be considered good deeds and would be rewarded by God in the life after , instead she put on a sickening sour face each time seeing the sight of her husband especially whenever he was seated at the dining table . He felt as if he has to beg for food . Not only that she failed to serve the husband as she should be with some dignity , she too does not show any bloody respect for him any more . She too have refused to share the same bedroom for already some years on the excuse that he snores . To me that wife is definitely a sinner . Some times I wonder why these wives do not realize that their daily prayers would become futile if they continue to behave that way . Don't their parents taught them that ? This is perhaps because they just have half cooked knowlege on religion and the rest are all their assumptions .

I was taken a back when I saw him suddenly cried like a baby . I was quite amazed to see him cried because a strong man like him would unlikely act that way . He told me that he has been keeping quiet about it and was very patient towards his wife . He has been too far pushed to the wall and was no more able to withstand it . He even contemplated of ending his marriage . But I was able to make him came back to his senses and persuaded him not to have any idea about it because if that were to happen , it would have a very far reaching implications . Finally he agreed with me to be strong and remain patient . We then parted but with a promise to stay in close contact to update ourselves .

That was the story of a dear friend that could happen to any one of us too . I just cannot imagines why wives now these days are so cruel towards their husbands . No wonder of late there are quite a number of break up marriages amongst veteran people . I used to look down on them but now I begin to have a different perspective towards them . Perhaps they have to divorce their wives because they do not want to see them continue to live in sins . If that is the case , they have made a noble decision .

The wedding of my cousin sister's son in Ipoh .

On 20th.February 2010 morning we ( I and my wife ,Azman and his wife and our grand- daughter Adrina ) left for Ipoh to attend a wedding reception of my cousin's son . My cousin sister Minah was out of contact for a long time . We met only a few years ago at one of the wedding receptions of my other cousin's son/daughter . During my childhood I used to follow my late grandmother to her house in Teluk Intan where she was residing then and we used to stay for the night. . She had an elder brother by the name of Ahmad Redzuan but unfortunately he died at an early age . I heard that the family had moved to Ipoh some years ago but I did not know their address . My uncle , Minah's father passed away in Ipoh some years ago .

We reached my cousin's house at Taman Kledang Jaya , north of Ipoh at about 1.00 pm, after missing our way till the junction to Grik .We did not anticipate that we could have gone that far . It was all because of the new traffic lanes at the North South Highway at Ipoh which did not allow motorists to come to Ipoh if they missed the correct lanes . At the house we met my other cousins who came all the way from Kuala Lumpur ,Teluk Intan and Bagan Datok .It was a very modest wedding reception . However , it was also attended by known figures . Among them was Tan Sri Ramli Ngah Talib , the former Menteri Besar of Perak .

Originally I had planned to go to Cameron Highlands immediately after the wedding . I had not been there for many years and I wanted to see if there is any development there . However I had to shelve the plan because our son Azman had already made arrangements to go there in March 2010 . So after the wedding we checked into a hotel to stay overnight in Ipoh .My son Azman wanted to bring his daughter Adrina to the Sunway ,Tambun ,Ipoh .

The next day after chacking out from our hotel rooms we then proceeded to Tambun ,Ipoh . Hence , whether we liked it or not we too had to go inside the amusement park otherwise we would be left outside . It was a very hot day and we feared our grand daughter would get sick .

We left Ipoh at about 3.00 pm and reached home at about 8.00 pm.

Holiday at Genting Highlands.

On 7th. February 2009 morning we followed our son Azman and his family to Genting Highlands for a short holiday . We were also accompanied by our grand daughter Alisya . It has been a long time since my last visit to Genting . I think it was about 10 years sinve our last visit . We parked the car at Goh Tong Jaya and boarded the cable car to the highlands . It was very exciting while in the cable car especially after a very long time like us . However ,at some points I had to close my eyes because I could not stand the sight of height .

On reaching the highlands we had to walk some distance up and down the escalators before we reached our hotel . The rooms had been pre-booked by Azman some times ago . After a short rest we came down to please our grand daughters . At our age we did not find it any more exciting to be at the various play grounds . Sometime I felt ashamed being there because that was not the right place for elderly people like us . Worst still if we were to step into the casinos . The only exciting part was the 3 dimensions cinema . I felt so close to the actors as if we were at the scenes ourselves . I and wife watched the films twice . We were also on a boat ride along the man made canal .

By Maghrib , we were already in our room and did not come out again . Azman and his family and Alisya came out again till almost midnight . While in the room I received a call from my brother Muttakin informing me that our brother Sam @ Samson ( my 3rd.younger brother ) was admitted into the ICU at UHKL with heart problem . I rang up brother in-law Makmor and sister in-law ( Samson's wife ) to confirm the news .

The next day afternoon we checked out from our rooms . On the way home we stopped over at the UHKL . We visited my brother Sam who was already out of the CCU . He told us that the doctor might have to perform ' ballooning ' on his blood vessels . The hospital needed RM 5000/- as deposit before they could do anything . I told him to get our mother to pay because she was then loaded . The money was from our late father's coconut plantaion . Sam was a chain smoker and this could have caused his lung problem .

This brother Sam ,was quite a well off person . Infact at one time he was earning more than me . His weakness was he did not plan his future . He got into trouble when he ventured into the hotel/challet business in Pahang , a business that he did not have any experience . He go cheated and and was indebted . His house in Ampang was mortgaged and when he failed to service his loan , it was auctioned off by the bank . He is now without a house . However he and his family are lucky for they have a roof above their heads to stay ie. the house belonging to his late father in-law in Kg.Pandan. Well , perhaps it was fated this had to happen .

New Year 2010

1st January 2010 was just like any other days .Nothing special .One thing that I realize was that time flies very fast these days . I can't beleive it that I would be 63 years old on 10th. July 2010 , 7 months from today .This age is very crucial . I do not know how many more years I would live in this world. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad once said that the majority of his ummah would live between 60 - 70 years , although there would be some who would live longer or even shorter than that . He himself died at the age of 63 years .

Not that I am afraid to die because every body would die one day , any way . The questions I used to ask myself were am I ready to face God ? Have I made enough preparations - in that sense , have I done enough good deeds to mankind ? Of course I have repented on all the sins that I have committed and determined not to repeat them . That is not good enough . I must fullfill all my obligations to Him . I must also go for my Haj for the second time in order to rectify whatever mistakes I could have done while performing my first Haj . This time I want to make sure that I will not make any mistake so as to enable for my Haj to be accepted as a Haj Mabrur . I want to come back as clean as the piece of white cloth .

Any way who am I to say that . I am just a tiny black dot in the face of Allah . He is the most almighty ,most beneficient , most gracious and most merciful and we have no say .The most we could do is appeal and pray .