Tuesday, October 23, 2007

In memory of Opah .

Today , eight years ago on 23rd.October 1999 , my dear grandmother whom we called ' Opah ' passed away at our mother's home in Sabak Bernam . She was then about 90 years old . She died alone in her room without anyone on her bedside ,without anyone to comfort her and without anyone to guide her to recite the ' syahadah ' . She died brocken hearted after feeling dejected because no one seemed interested to care for her . Even her own daughter who was supposed to look after her felt she was a burden to her . As a result she vent her anger on the poor old woman .I do not want to brood over the past because it would only make me angry over someone who had mistreated her .

Actually prior to living with my mother , Opah was staying with me most of the time . She was with me when I was in Muar , Segamat ,Johor Bahru ,Banting and Shah Alam . Of course not all the time . She came and went as she pleased . I do not know why she liked me so much , perhaps because I used to treat her well and entertained her to hear her stories .She liked someone to talk to . However when I was transferred to Port Dickson , she could not follow me because I was then staying alone . My wife remained in Shah Alam for the sake of the school-going children . Even that she did come to stay with me in Port Dickson once when I brought her there for a week or so .
When her health was failing she asked me to send her to my mother's place . Perhaps she was not very comfortable without my presence in the house in Shah Alam .The rest members of my family did not know how to entertain her .But sending her back to the kampong was the biggest mistake that I made which I so much regretted till today . Perhaps she would live longer if she had stayed with my family in Shah Alam .

Any way the majority of her years were with me . She was closed to me . I was told she was the one who brought me up when I was a kid . She would bathed me , fed me and put me to sleep when the time came for me to do so . Even when I was already big child she would also carry me around either on her hips or on her back to pamper me .I was closer to her more than to my mother . She was also closer to me than to my siblings .During the school holidays I would normally stay with my grandmother . She was the one whom I could look forward to . She was my adviser , teacher and mentor . Whenever I had any problem it would be from her that I sought advice .

When I was to get married to my wife she was the one who helped arranged everything . My mother and father were not supportive of my marrying my wife because I was told that they had some one else ( a relative ) in mind . My Opah was the one who did everything from A to Z to ensure that my marriage took place smoothly . My wife should be thankful to her for without her she would not have married me .


She was a strong lady until she had a fall at my brother's house in Subang Jaya during her short stay there . I was later told that she was accidentally pushed by one of my underaged nephews . However ,Opah never complained . After that , I took her back to my house and after finding that she was suffering from pain on her hips , I brought her to the University Hospital Petaling Jaya where she was operated on . An artificial bone ( steel ) was fixed to her hip bone to replace the broken one . However , after the operation she was still in pain and could not walk without the aid of a crutch . The doctor told me that it would take some time for her to adjust to the new affixed artificial bone . From then on I noticed she was not that lively as before . Once a while she would talk about death and told me that her days would come to end soon .Of course I would refute that as nonsence and told her she would live longer to see our ( my children's and mine )successes . She would then told me that she would still see ( from Heaven ) our successes even if she died .
If I were to be asked who was the person that I love most , I would definitely say without hesitation that it was my dear gradmother whom we called Opah . When she passed away I felt I had lost some one very very dear to me in my life . It took some time for me to overcome my sorrows .
Another the thing that I admire most about her was that she was a very kind person . She would want to help others even to the extent that would put her into difficulties .She never complained about others especially her closed ones . She kept all her agonies and sorrows to herself . Being closed to her I knew she was not too happy with some people . She did not want to trouble others . Infact she used to tell me that if she died she did not want to troble us .She had kept some money some money ( which she saved over the years which was more than RM2000/- ) for her burial expenses . I always told her that she should not worry over that because it was our responsiblity that she be given a proper burial .When she died we did not used a single sen from her savings for her burial expenses . I paid everything .
" Opah , you are always in my heart . Each time I go back to the kampong I would visit your grave and would recite the surah ( verse ) ' Yassin ' or the ' Alfatihah ' . Infact it can be said that if it had not been for the purpose of visiting your grave , I would not want to go back there . Opah I pray that you would be among the faithfulls in Heaven . May you rest in peace " .
Ameen .

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