My Onyang.

I got this photograph from an old passport Haji which I found among old documents .Her name was Hajjah Maimunah bt. Ahmad . She was my great grand-mother . She died in 1968 . She was more than 100 years old when she died .I was not at home when she passed away because I was then studying at the College of Agriculture , ( later named UPM )Serdang . My family did not inform me of her death for fear that it would affect my studies .

My great grand-mother hailed from South Kalimantan , Indonesia . She was from the Banjar clan and she could speak only in her mother tongue . She came to then Malaya in the 1800s with a group of people to escape the Dutch atrocities who then colonized Indonesia . She came with her son ( my maternal grand-father ) and some relatives . They landed in Bagan Datok , Perak and settled down there . They planted and cultivated coconuts ,fruit trees and some vegetables . Her son , my grand-father married my grand-mother , a local and they had a daughter ( my mother ) and a son ( my uncle ) . My maternal grandfather passed away long before I was borned .

When I was a kid I used to hear stories from my great grand-mother of her early life in Kalimantan .She told me that her neighbours were the Ibans and she used to see human heads hanging on poles infront of their long-houses . But they never disturb her and her families . She also told me of the atrocities of the Dutch and how they used to raid and ransacked her house looking for those who were against them . She told me her family came to Malaya on a tongkang ( a ship using wind as their power to move ) . During the Japanese occupation of Malaya she was also not spared from having to face great hardships .There was not enough food and she had to plant and depend on tapioca,sweet potato and yam for food which she planted . She was almost in a state of phobia because each time she heard the sound of aeroplane she would hid herself under the ' mengkuang ' mat . Those days being a naughty boy , I too used to scare her by telling her that the Japanese had landed again.She would then told us to be quiet and insisted that we too hid ourselves . She also told me that she performed her Haj twice . The first was on a tongkang which took 4-5 months to get to Mecca.The second was on a steam ship from Penang which took only about 2 weeks .

My great grand-mother was a very hard working woman . She never kept herself idle for she was always busy in her plantation . There were all sorts of fruit trees and vegetables that she planted . Practically we did not have to buy anything for our food . She was also a shrewd business woman . I remember I used to follow her to the pasar minggu where she sold her goods like tapioca , sweet potatoes , yams ,chillies ,vegetables and fruits like jack fruit ,mangoes ,rambutans and jambus which she collected from her plantaion . She was also a great cook . I used to have my second meal from her kitchen . ( She had her own kitchen even though my grand mother stayed in the same house ) . One incident that I cannot forget till today was when I ran away from home to follow my great grand-mother on a bus to her home a few kilo meters away . I was then only clad in an old sarong seated in the bus with her . I just smiled when the rest of the passengers laughed at me . Since she could only spoke in the Banjarese dialect to me , I then became quite proficient in the language . Today , I could hardly utter a word of it .

Those were the great years with my great grand-mother . I pray to Allah so that He protect her and she be among the faithfulls in Heaven .

Opah's younger days .

The photo could have been taken in 1970s . On the extreme right was my Opah . On the extreme left is my mother .Besides her was a relative , a mute ( deceased ), a relative and a neighbour . The rest were my grandmother's relatives from Kampar who came to visit her in my mother's house in Sabak Bernam .

Opah with Syazirul Azman at our house in Segamat

Remembering my ' Opah ' . (Behind her was my sister Narimah.)

We used to call her ' opah ' ( now deceased ) and she was some one whom I loved ,cherished and respect so much . She was a caring and loving grand mother . I was closed to her even when I was still a kid . Infact I was told I was practically brought up by her . I remember during the school holidays I would spent my time in her house . I also used to follow her wherever she went . I followed her to the pasar minggus , kenduris , suraus to listen to the religious preachings and to relatives houses .

When I started work in Muar , Johor she came and stayed with me in my room in the Officers Mess. She cooked and washed clothes for me . And when I was to get married to my wife , she was the one who handled everything for me . Otherwise I would not know whether I could get married or not because I did not get the support of my parents to marry some one not of their choice . Infact opah was always around when I was in need and she was ever willing to help me in whatever ways .

Most of the time opah would stay with me no matter where I was transferred to . She stayed with me when in Segamat , Banting, , Shah Alam and even Port Dickson .

In 1997 Opah had a fall at my brother's house in Subang Jaya when she was there for a few days . She did not tell us why she felt but later I found out that she was accidentally pushed by my naughty nephew who was playing around near her . She was admitted to the University Hospital ,Petaling Jaya for about a week . She had a broken hip and had to be operated . Since then she could not walk properly and always complain of having pain in the hip . Since then too her health began to deteriorate . Inspite of that she still stayed in my house in Shah Alam .

In 1998 I was transferred to Port Dickson . She did come and stayed a few weeks with me in Port Dickson although I was then staying a bachelor there . My family was still in Shah Alam due to school going children . She then stayed back with my family in Shah Alam for a few months before she asked to be sent to my mother's house in Sabak Bernam. Perhaps she was feeling lonely because I was not around . Normally I was the one who would talked and joked with her . My wife just could find the topic to talk to her ,because she being a quiet lady too .

On 23rd.October 1999 my beloved Opah passed away at my mother's house . I was told she died slone in her room . I rushed home from Port Dickson to see only her dead body . This was the most distressing moment I ever encountered in my life . I could not help but cried aloud all the way while driving from Port Dickson to Sabak Bernam . My only regret was why I allowed her to stay with my mother in the kampong .I believed she died feeling unhappy and dejected . She was not happy there and I knew she wanted to be with me .Apparently she was not that good with my mother .I just could not do anything because I was staying alone in Port Dickson and she refused to stay with my family in Shah Alam . Perhaps she could have lived longer if she were to stay with me . As many of us know , pscychology plays an important factor to one's life .

My late father with Eileen Farhana.

It's already 9 years , since dad left us .

On 8th March 2000 at about 3.00 pm. our beloved dad passed away at my sister's house in Taman Sri Subang , Sunway, Petaling Jaya . All of us were on his bedside when he passed away. Although I was then working in Port Dickson , I had earlier rushed home on being informed of his deteriorating health .He was suffering from Parkinson disease for some time . He was brought back from the Hospital where he was warded for some time . I remember just before he died , he called me near to his bedside . He did not say anything . Perhaps he just wanted to be sure that I was around and perhaps be ready to take over the responsibilty of taking care of the family from him . However, I managed to ask him for his forgiveness . All along we recited the Quran especially the Surah Yassin .My cousin's( Ustaz Ahmad of Taman Abdul Razak , KL.) wife , a religious teacher recited the Surah Yassin and soon after my father passed away peacefully .

The same evening with the help of the committee of the Surau Polis IPD Shah Alam , where I once worked before my transfer to Port Dickson , the burial was performed the same evening .The burial had to be done on the same day because the next day was a working day and there would be no one to help us .I also managed to get permission from the Shah Alam religious authorities to have him buried at the burial ground in Section 21, Shah Alam .

My late father was suffering from Parkinson in silence . No one knew that he was suffering from the disease .Not even the local doctor who treated him . He got his medical treatment from the local Government Health Clinic . There was no specialist there . He was given some medicine but I believed that was not the right one . I suspected that he was suffering from Parkinson , when my friend told me the symptoms of his father who was also suffering from the same disease . As recommended by my friend one day I brought my father to a private specialist doctor at a Specialist Clinic in Jalan Ipoh , Kuala Lumpur . My father was also sent to a MRE to have his head x-rayed . A few weeks later the specialist doctor confirmed that he was suffering from Parkinson disease . For almost half a year my father travelled up and down from Sabak Bernam to Kuala Lumpur to have his regular medical examination and to get his supply of medicine . When I was transferred to Port Dickson, he was later referred to the University Kebangsaan Hospital in Cheras, KL . My illiterate mother listen too much from other people who did not believe in modern medicine and thus discouraged my father from taking his medicine .Infact there was a time when my mother hid his medicine away. Since then , his health began to deteriorate . He was then admitted to the UKM Hospital in Cheras . After a few weeks the doctor suggested that we take him back probably because he knew that he could not do anything more for him .

My only regret was , I did not take care my father's feelings when he was in that condition . I did not know that he was in need of company and some one to talk to . I did not know that Parkinson patients needed to be handled with care because they were sensitive people .They needed company and some one to talk to . Perhaps my father was feeling very lonely then . Due to my nature of job I could not go back home and visit him as often as I could . If only I could get back past time I would very much want to be close to my father and to give him whatever I can afford . That is of course impossible and ridiculous . I love him so much that I named my new house ' Sri Abak ' , a name he was popularly known among relatives . Now , I could only pray to Allah so that He would protect him and he would be among the faithfulls in Heaven . Amin .

The moral of the above story is for young people to take care the feelings of their parents because you might not know that he or she could be suffering from any disease and could be crying in silence . Obviously past time could not be brought back and thus make sure you will not regret it like I do .

Eileen Farhana when she was about 2 years old.

Eileen Farhana when she was about 2 years old at our quarters in the District Police HQ Banting ,Kuala Langat.