Malaysia mourns the loss of it's First Lady.

Today Malaysia mourns the death of it's First Lady, Datin Endon wife of our Prime Minister,Dato Sri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. After almost 3 years of fighting the disease of breast cancer finally this morning ( 7.55 am ) she succumbs to the deadly disease .She passed away peacefully at the PM's residence,Sri Perdana in Putrajaya. By her bedside were her beloved husband, two children, son-in law , daughter-in law and her mother Datin Mariam Abdullah.Eighteen days ago she returned from the United States where she was treated of the disease .She was laid to rest at the Muslim cemetry at Presinct 20 ,Putrajaya attended by local and foregn dignitaries. Among those who came to pay their last respect were Crown Prince of Brunei Darussalam ,President Arroyo Macapagal of the Phillipines, Premier Lee Hsien Loong of Singapore and the Deputy PM of Thailand .

What is the morale behind this tragedy ? How wealthy you are , how powerful you are ,how good is your doctor that attends to you ,how well known you are ,how well you are loved ,no one could go against God's fate . When the time for us to die has come ,we'll have to go .All living things has to suffer death .No one is exempted . Therefore we must always be ready with enough good deeds , not to go against God's wishes -committing sins and fullfill our obligations to God such as performing the daily prayers etc. Prophet Muhammad (pbh.) once said via the Hadith ' You must do good deeds as if you are going to die tomorrow '.So we cannot say we are still young and there is enough time to do later .No one knows when we are going to die except God .

Cancer is a killer disease .Breast cancer often attacks women and chances of a cure is very slim. Medical practitioners has yet to find the diognose of the deadly disease. God mentioned in the Holy Quran that there is a cure to all diseases .Only that human beings has yet to discover it .Now, I would like to challenge all Medical practioners and would be practitioners to put all efforts available to find the solution to the problem, human beings has been facing since Prophet Adam (pbh.)

It must be very painful for us to loose some one who is very dear to us .I cannot bear to loose my loved ones especially my wife who has been my closest companion for the last 35 years .Especially now that I am retired ,where my activities has almost been restricted to my home. I do not have any other companion or friends to talk and joke to except my wife . One may say ,' Oh ,you can always remarry '. Not as simple as that .By remarrying, that doesn't guarantee happiness .Further, we have to take care the feelings of our children .I'd rather remain single ,than to have another burden on my shoulder.

Oh God, please do not take away my loved ones .

Beware of the fake Quran (The True Furqan)

Last Friday during the Friday Prayer Sermon at the State Mosque in Shah Alam , we had the shock of our lives when told that a new Quran called ' The True Furqan ' are now in circulation through out the world to confuse Muslims with the ultimate aim to lure Muslims into Christianity . As we all know ' Furqan ' is another name for Quran .

Reaching home after the prayer , I immediately rushed to my lap-top computer and surf the internet to verify the information that we received during the Friday prayer sermon . I manage to surf the relevent website and it was confirmed that ' The True Furqan ' existed .It was actually authored by an Arab Christian now living in the US who was sponsored by President Bush and by the Israeli government. After perusing through a few pages , I don't need to be an expert to identify this fake Quran .

Surprisingly , Kuwait became the bastion for distributions of this fake Quran to other countries . In Kuwait it is even being distributed to school children in government schools .On second thought , I am not surprised this is happening in Kuwait or even perhaps in Saudi Arabia . If you all remember not long ago during the Iraq War these are among the Muslim Arab countries which conspired with the US and it's allies to wage war against Iraq . Kuwait was especially indebted to the US for rescuing her from President Saddam's invading army .It has come to this stage that these Arab nations had stooped so low to President Bush even to the extent of almost destroying their own religion . It would not be too long when these infidels would enter the holy city of Mecca just as what had happened to our 3rd.holiest mosque al Aqsa in Baitumaqdis/Bethlehem . Even today US has already had a Military Base outside Riyadh , just a few hundred miles from the Holy City . Who knows that their millitary spies had not entered the Holy City ? Can you expect much from the Arabs who claims that they are entrusted by God to be the custodion of the Holy City ? There is nothing stated in the Quran that they are the custodion of the Holy City . They too ,is not the largest Muslim community .Today , Muslims in Nusantara ( Malaysia and Indonesia ) is the largest Muslim community in the world . In my humble opinion ,the Holy Cities ( Mecca and Medina ) should be administered by OIC .

Now it is confirmed that the enemies of Islam is trying their best to destroy our religion. They have now resorted to the despicable act of inventing a fake Quran to confuse us .A young child or someone with limited knowledge about Islam would slowly be lured into believing the fake Quran .That is why they are targetting school children and adults with limited knowledge of the religion .We Muslims have to unite and consolidate our solidarity to fight against our enemies . We should not emulate the Arabs for they cannot be trusted .We cannot depend on them for they are known to have conspired with our enemies .

Today ,it is almost 2 weeks of fasting this year's Ramadhan .As the previous year we are a bit lonely especially during the breaking of fast .Most of the time only the two of us are at the table for the breaking of fast because Aizad and Azman are seldom at home .Normally ,they breakfasted in the car and only reached home well after breaking of fast time.Luckily , Alisya is around . She becomes our companion to talk and joke to .

Our new house could not be completed in time for Hari Raya .We have to celeberate this year's Hari Raya somewhere else - may be in JB .

Pakistan and Kashmir shaken by eathquakes.

Pakistan and Kashmir have been devastated by the deadly earthquakes. It is estimated about 40,000 lives perished in the tragedy . It is heartening to hear of such disaster and more so they are all our Muslim brothers and sisters . Sometimes I wonder why Pakistan and Kashmir with the majority of the population are Muslims ,have to suffer the disaster this time especially during this Ramadhan .There could be a 'hikmah' or reason from God on why the tragedy this time has to be on the people of Pakistan and Kashmir .After some thought , I reckon that it could be a reminder from God not to conspire with the enemies of Islam . As we all know President Musharraf has been a US stooge in its campaign to destroy Islam .He has also been licking President's Bush's arse in return for a few thousands US dollars to help finance his shaky government . He is responsible for arresting a good number of mujahideens / freedom fighters and turning them over to his 'master' - the US resulting in them being detained without trial at the infamous Guantanamo Bay Prison .His sins does not end there , he is also responsible for the closure of a number of Madrasahs ( Islamic institution ) which was accused by the US for planting seeds of hatred against them and as training grounds for terrorism . As in Malaysia and other countries Madrasahs played a pivotal role in the dissemination of our religion Islam . This fact has been feared by the enemies of Islam which they believe could hamper their campaign to weaken and eventually to destroy the religion .Thousands of students including some from Malaysia had to abandon their studies . Other countries including Malaysia especially under Dr.Mahathir used the same reasons to clamp down on the Madrasahs activities . Thailand for that matter is trying her best to close down Madrasahs in Southern Thailand , as part of it's campaign to weaken Islam . Pakistan which was known as one of the favourite destinations for students of Islam, is left with nothing but stooges of the West . All the goings on in Pakistan could have infuriated God and as a signal to human kind made the earthquakes to happen . This is also a reminder to all Muslim countries especially the Arab kingdoms not to stoop so low to the West , more so to be lickers of their arse . These countries should be the guardian of Islam but instead allowed themselves to be used by the super powers as a tool to destroy another fellow Muslim country , as in the case of Afghanistan and Iraq. But Arabs being typical Arabs are well known for their lack of awareness on the importance of unity and solidairity among themselves .They are always suspicious of each other and can never remain united. That is the main reason for their defeat by Israel during the Gulf War of 1967 .Before the advent of Islam , the Arab community were known for their ruthlessness and lawlessness . If the religion of Islam did not come to them through Prophet Muhammad (pbh), they would have been worst than what they are known today . President Jamal Abdul Nasser of Egypt , President Haffiz al Assad of Syria and President Muammar Gadaffi of Libya tried to unite the Arab community but all failed . I suppose only a non Arab strong leader could unite them in the interest of Islam .

One would ask what is the part played by the OIC ( Organisation of Islamic Countries )to unite the Muslim countries ?As the name suggest " Oh, I see ." , I guess nothing much can be done as long as the Arabs are not united .They are the main obstacles to unity and solidarity .

Taking opportunity of this holy month of Ramadhan ,I pray so that God would guide leaders of Muslim countries to the right path and not to succumb to the lure of the enemies of Islam.

My childhood life .

In a few days , Muslims would welcome the month of Ramadhan when we would fast ie. refrain from food and water from dawn to dusk for a month. Besides we would also refrain ourselves from committing sins and instead do as much good deeds as we could . Ramadhan is a holy month for Muslims for on the 27th.of Ramadhan our Prophet Muhammad received his first reveilation from God . Thus, this month is very significant to all Muslims throughout the world .At the end of Ramadhan we would then celeberate the Idilfitri .

Reminicsing , my childhood days during Ramadhan and Idilfitri sometimes I would cry and then would wonder with awe how I could rid myself out of that situation . I also thank God for turning me into what I am today . Life in this country during the pre Merdeka days was deplorably pathetic . The majority of the people lived in poverty including my family . Infact ,we belong to the hard core poor . My father had no proper job and it was only when I was about 10 years old that he got a job as a bus driver . With a meagre salary he had to support the 7 of us ( 4 brothers and 2 sisters ) .Luckily we lived in the village and we suppliment our parent's income by breeding chicken and growing vegetable ,tapioca ,sweet potato ,maize etc . So , we did not have to buy vegetables ,sweet potato,maize ,eggs and chickens . We had to be very careful on our spending .We understood our parent's predicament and as such did not demand much .Good food like chicken and meat was something of a luxury in nature and we would get them only during Idilfitri/Idiladha or if there is a kenduri or wedding in the village . To us clothes was only the 2 pairs of school uniform each that we had . New clothes for Idilfitri was not in our vocabulary.In other words we did not celeberate the occasion except stayed home hiding ourselves from others . I remember each time I became sad ,I used to console myself by telling myself that my turn to celeberate would be when I would be successful in my studies and in life later on . Due to my hard work I was quite good in my studies and I won a Federal Minor Scholarship for RM.30.00 per month from Form 1 till I complete my Senior Cambridge School Certificate .That certainly helped alleviate our financial problems .When I continued my studies at UPM Serdang I was sponsored by the Ministry of Agriculture .Thus ,I did not depend on my parents to finance my education . Because of my experience ,I am quite careful with my expenses even up to this day.And that has taught me that God will not change our destiny ,except we ourselves .It is up to us to work hard in order to be successful with out lives . I have proven that . That too has taught me to be humble and to care for the unfortunates . Because life is like a cycle .Today you may be somebody but tomorrow you might be nobody .

I am thankful to God for bestowing upon me a good successful life ,good health and good and intelligent children who do not have to undergo the sort of life I had undergone .

No one can escape death .

This morning I received a talephone call from Encik Zainal a former subordinate at the Forfeiture of Property Division ,Narcotics Department where I was then it's Director prior to my retirement, ( he retired 8 months ago ),informing me that Dato' Mohd.Nor Hamat ,the Deputy Director of Management (Training),Royal Malaysia Police ,Bukit Aman , had passed away this morning at the age of 55 . I know this officer quite well because we once worked together .He was a good officer ,a humble and sincere person .He was transferred out immediately out of Selangor a few years ago due to some allegations .Since then he was a sad person .Although ,officially he died due to heart failure , I beleive, his death was also due to worries and shame . He was a very ambitious person ,and when he realised that there was no hope to achieve his wish , he bacame sad and hopeless .When you are worried and sad , normally diseases set in.At this age ( I mean 50 and above ) one should accept the fact that it is a bit too late to be ambitious .The problem with some individuals , they do not want to accept that fact .I have noticed quite a number of my colleagues who were too ambitious ( gila pangkat ) , died hopeless .Is it worth with the pangkat when you have to leave your loved ones while they are not yet ready to fend for themselves ? I always beleive that I must be grateful to God for giving me enough bounties ( rezeki ) and bestowing upon me good health.Of course where wealth is concerned there is no limit to it .But to me enough is enough for health is equally important . I am not afraid of death ,because none of us could escape from it .My wish - insyallah , is to live to the optimum age ,so that I am ready with enough knowledge ( religious ) and had done enough good deeds and to see my children and my grandchildren successful in their lives ,before I could die peacefully .Any way it is all in God's hands .We could only plan, He disposes .But I hope God would be merciful to me and grant me all my wishes .

A harrowing experience at the Government Health Centre and the Hospital.

On 5th.Sept.2005 my wife asked me to send her to the Pusat Kesihatan (Government Health Centre) Seksyen 7,Shah Alam because she thought she was sick. The doctor at the Centre did a scanty examination on her and then told her that there was nothing wrong with her. I brought her home but I noticed her condition was not getting any better .So , on 7th.Sept. 2005 I sent my wife to a private hospital - the Darul Ehsan ,at Seksyen 9,Shah Alam for a second opinion . They did a thorough examination and the doctor told us that she was suspected to have dengue fever . Because she was entitled to a 1st.Class Ward in a government hospital , she was referred to Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah,Klang for further treatment .Unfortunately when she reached there , not only she was deprived of her 1st.Class Ward , she was made to lie on a extra bed which was placed in the centre of the ward just like she was in a refugee camp. The explaination given was the doctor wanted to contain all the dengue fever sufferers to a ward for easy monitoring .The explaination was ridiculous and unacceptable - mere lazy bums on the part of the doctors .Any way I do not want to make hue and cry over the matter because to me the most important thing was for my wife to be treated well and to be able to come home in one piece. While my wife was in the hospital I felt like getting sick .At first I thought I could have been struck with the same fever. After taking in 2 pills of Panadol 650 , my fever finally went away .Thank God it was not dengue .

On 10th, Sept.2005 I went to the University Malaya to register for my second semester of Pengajian al Quran. I was told a number of well qualified persons too registered themselves for the 1st. Semester . There was a professor ( from a Science discipline) , a few engineers and also a CEO of a public listed company.Like me , they are looking forward to read and understand the holy Quran .

On 11th. Sept.2005 morning together with my eldest son Saiful Aizad and his wife and daughter we sent my daughter Eileen to the airport for her flight to Dublin ,Ireland where she is studying medicine .She is continuing her second year course .My wife was unable to make it because she was still in the hospital .Bon voyage and a safe journey.I hope she would not waste any more time because the 3 months holidays was long enough for her to 'rest' . The next 9 months or so should be treated as a battle to achieve success . As most learned people says success do not come easy .One has to work really hard to achieve 'real success'.She should realize that her old man had sacrificed whatever little cash he has in his savings for her to study and live comfortably in Dublin. So I hope she would not let me down.My only wish is for her to be thankful to God for giving this opportunity to study medicine overseas under a JPA scholarship for getting it was not that plain sailing .

When I reached home I received a call from my wife informing me that she was allowed to go home . She could have pestered the doctor to allow her to go home because she could not stand the noises in the ward caused by the rowdy estate visitors - she could not sleep for the past few days.

Entry made on 13th Sept.2005.

At home she did not fully recovered .She was still tired and could not do anything except lie down in bed .I had to do all the household chores and it was very tiring .She was only a bit better today , even that she is still exempted from cooking .

Pejuang kemerdekaan yang sebenar dipinggirkan dalam lipatan Sejarah negara ini.

Merdeka, merdeka,merdeka. Bersyukur ke hadzrat Allah SWT kerana negara Malaysia kini sebuah negara yang merdeka ,bebas dari cengkaman penjajah dan menikmati faedah pembangunan .Dalam kita berbangga dan menikmati hasil pembangunan, kita seharusnya jangan lupa kapada pejuang kemerdekaan kita yang telah banyak berkorban demi mahu melihat negara ini bebas dan merdeka. Maksud saya bukan mengingati kapada mereka yang dikatakan memerdekakan negara ini saperti yang tercatat didalam buku-buku sejarah saperti yang diajarkan di sekolah-sekolah hari ini . Apa yang tercatat di buku-buku sejarah sekolah adalah cerita-cerita dari perspektif kerajaan UMNO yang sememangnya mahu menonjolkan peranan yang mereka mainkan sahaja ,sementara memperkecilkan peranan pihak-pihak lain yang tidak sehaluan dengan mereka .

Untuk pengetahuan anak-anakku dan cucu-cucuku dan siapa sahaja yang membaca halaman ini, sebenarnya semangat kemerdekaan di negara kita ini telah wijud jauh lebih lama dari tahun-tahun sewaktu UMNO pimpinan Dato Onn Jaafar dan Tengku Abdul Rahman ditubuhkan . Umno ditubuhkan dengan direstui pihak penjajah British pada tahun 1946 , sedangkan api kemerdekaan telah lama dikobar-kobarkan oleh pejuang kemerdekaan saperti Datuk Maharajalela, Datuk Sagor, Tok Bahaman,Mat Lela,Mat Kilau, Tok Janggut dan lain-lain. Dalam tahun 1930an disambung pula oleh pejuang-pejuang saperti Ibrahim Yaakub,Ishak Hj.Muhammad( Pak Sako), Dr.Burhanuddin Hilmi, Prof.Zulkifli Muhammad dan lain-lain . Mereka inilah yang telah menubuhkan Partai politik yang pertama iaitu Kesatuan Melayu Muda ( KMM )pada Mei 1937 di Kampong Baru,Kuala Lumpur sehingga ianya diharamkan oleh pihak penjajah Jepun pada tahun 1942 kerana ia menjadi ancaman kapada mereka .Kemudian pada 17 Oktober 1942 ditubuhkan pula Partai Kebangsaan Melayu Malaya (PKMM) di Ipoh . PKMM terdiri dari gabungan pertubuhan-pertubuhan :-

1. Angkat Pemuda Insaf ( API ) yang dipimpin Ahmad Boestamam.

2.Angkatan Wanita Sedar ( AWAS ) yang dipimpin Shamsiah Fakeh.

3.Barisan Tani Malaya (BATAS) yang dipimpin oleh Musa Ahmad.

4.Jabatan Kerja Melayu (JKM) yang dipimpin Alimin dan Abdullah CD.

5.Hizbul Muslimin yang dipimpin Us.Abu Bakar al Baqir dan Dr.Burhanuddin al Hilmi.

6.Gerakan Angkatan Muda (GERAM) yang dipimpin A.Aziz Ishak.

7.Kesatuan Buruh seMalaya pimpinan Abdullah CD.

8.Pan Malayan Federation of Trade Union pimpinan Abdullah CD.

9.Kesatuan Opera Melayu

10.Persatuan Pemandu Teksi

11.Majlis Agama Tertinggi se Malaya (MATA) pimpinan Abu Bakat al Baqir.

Apabila penjajah British kembali menjajah negara ini mereka telah menganjurkan penubuhan UMNO pada 11 Mei 1948 yang boleh bekerjasama dengan mereka . PKMM adalah sebuah partai politik yang enggan bekerjasama dengan pihak penjajah dan kewujudannya menjadi ancaman kapada mereka . Pada 18 Jun 1948 PKMM diharamkan oleh penjajah . Bekas ahli PKMM tiada jalan lain selain menyertai UMNO, sebahagian yang lain pula menyertai Partai PETA( Pembela Tanah Air ) yang ditubuhkan selepas PKMM diharamkan dan sebilangan kecil bergabung dengan pihak Komunis di hutan untuk memulakan perjuangan gerila . Saya cukup menyanjung pengorbanan mereka yang yang saya nyatakan saperti diatas kerana pengorbanan mereka adalah sangat ikhlas dan jujur .Mithalnya Ishak Hj.Muhamad seorang pelajar lepasan Malay College MCKK, Kuala Kangsar yang kemudiannya menjadi seorang Majistret , boleh hidup senang jika terus bekerja dengan penjajah , tetapi memilih untuk bekerja sebagai wartawan dimana beliau boleh menggunakan mata penanya untuk membakar semangat orang Melayu pada masa itu .Begitu juga dengan Ahmad Boestamam yang sanggup merengkok dalam penjara penjajah berpuluh tahun lamanya kerana enggan bekerjasama dengan mereka . Pada masa itu kebanyakkan orang Melayu cenderung dengan pemaham Presiden Soekarno untuk menubuhkan Empayar Melayu yang dipanggil Melayu Raya meliputi Indonesia, Malaya, Singapura,Sabah,Sarawak ,Brunei Filipina dan Pattani ( Selatan Thailand ). Takutkan ianya akan menjadi ancaman, pihak penjajah mengharamkan PKMM dan menaja penubuhan UMNO yang setuju/patuh dengan mereka - itulah cara ' pecah dan perintah ' ( divide and rule ) . Beberapa pejuang negara ini terpaksa lari ke Indonesia kerana mereka dikehendaki tangkap oleh penjajah Inggeris .Mithalnya Ibrahim Hj.Yaakub yang menyertai TNI ( Tentera Nasional Indonesia ) hingga menjadi seorang General .Beliau meninggal dunia di Indonesia .

Mereka ibarat lilin yang membakar diri dan terpinggir dalam lipatan sejarah serta tidak diketahui oleh generasi baru .Harapan saya satu hari nanti sejarah ini akan diperbetulkan , kerana tiada siapa boleh membohongi sejarah .

Kemerdekaan negara hendaklah diikuti dengan pembenaan minda yang bebas dan merdeka juga.

Jarang sekali bagi saya menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu, walaupun menulis kapada anak-anak saya sendiri.Bukanlah saya mengagongkan Bahasa Inggeris ,bahasa penjajah ini ,tetapi entah mengapa saya lebih selesa menggunakannya . Kali ini saya tergerak untuk menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu oleh kerana beberapa hari lagi ialah hari ulang tahun kemerdekaan negara kita Malaysia.Adalah tidak patriotik jika saya menulis didalam Bahasa Inggeris pada waktu ini .

31 Ogos 1957 mengingatkan saya kapada tarikh kemerdekaan Malaya-nama negara kita pada masa itu .Pada masa itu saya baru berumur 10 tahun dan bersekolah dalam darjah 3 dan belum mengerti apa erti kemerdekaan , selain slogan 'Merdeka' yang sering kedengaran dilaungkan melalui corong-corong radio ataupun laungan pada upacara-upacara yang diadakan di peringkat daerah dimana kami tinggal - Sabak Bernam . Namun begitu sebelum itu saya sering mendengar pidato-pidato Presiden Soekarno yang penuh semangat melalui Radio Republik Indonesia yang diikuti oleh aruah bapa saya .Beliau adalah peminat setia Presiden Soekarno. Dari mulut Soekarno-lah mula-mula saya mendengar laungan 'merdeka' yang penuh semangat itu .

Tahun demi tahun berjalan saya dapat merasakan perubahan yang berlaku dalam kampong dan Pekan di daerah tempat kami tinggal hasil pembangunan dan nikmat kemerdekaan .Demikian juga saya telah berjaya meneruskan pelajaran di Sekolah Inggeris .Bangganya saya pada masa itu kerana dapat menguasai bahasa bekas penjajah negara ini .Tetapi ini tidaklah bermaana bahawa saya menyanjungi penjajah. Mereka bukan sahaja mengaut kekayaan dari negara kita ini , tetapi kita juga telah diotek-otekkan serta dipersendakan seolah-olah kita ini tidak setaraf dengan bangsa mereka. Kita bertuah kerana mendapat pemimpin-pemimpin saperti Tun Razak dan Tun Dr.Ismail yang benar-benar jujur dan ikhlas untuk membangunkan negara ini dan memberikan kesejahteraan kapada rakyat negara ini .Berbanding kebanyakkan pemimpin yang ada sekarang yang hanya mementingkan faedah untuk diri mereka dan konco-konco mereka .Itulah hasil pembangunan yang hanya mementingkan material sahaja dan mengesampingkan pembangunan rohaniah . Bagi mereka wang adalah segalanya yang bisa membeli apa sahaja dengan wang ringgit tersebut sehingga maruah juga dapat dijualbelikan. Bagi saya kemerdekaan negara hendaklah juga diikuti dengan pembangunan minda yang bebas dan merdeka juga.

Selepas 48 tahun negara ini merdeka harapan saya kapada bangsaku supaya mereka turut dapat menikmati erti sebenar kemerdekaan .Janganlah hanya leka dengan jeritan/laungan merdeka sahaja sedangkan hidup kita masih dibelenggu dengan kemiskinan manakala bangsa-bangsa lain hidup menikmati kekayaan. Kehidupan kita hendaklah lebih baik daripada kehidupan sebelumnya . Sungguh menyayat hati setiap kali melihatkan rayuan-rayuan melalui TV dan media cetak dari mereka yang hidup dalam kedaifan . Sepatutnya tiada lagi kedaifan didalam sebuah negara merdeka seperti Malaysia .Banggakah kita melaungkan ' Merdeka ' sedangkan ada kedaifan diantara kita ?

Furious and frustrated - another petrol and diesel price hike.

I am really furious and frustrated today after hearing the news over Radio Television Malaysia that there is another petrol , diesel and gas price hike beginning tomorrow morning. This time 20 sens for diesel and 10 sens for petrol per litre . I almost could not control my anger with the government of Malaysia for making the price hike possible . How not to be angry ,when there has been a number of price hikes in a year ( three times of which the latest was in July ,barely 2 months ago ), while my income through my pension remains the same ? I would not have been very mad at it, if it just means only petrol is affected. Unfortunately , it would almost certainly be followed by the price increases of other goods and services too . This means another inflation in this country .The government gave reason that it can no longer afford to subsidise petrol and diesel as a result of price increase of crude oil in the world market . But the government deliberately refused to admit that it also gain from the crude oil price increase because Malaysia is also an exporter of crude oil .I can't understand why the government could not continue to 'subsidise' petrol from the profit it gain from the increase of price of crude oil ? Oil in this country do not belong to Petronas only . It belongs to the people of Malaysia .Why can't the people of this country get the benefil from it ? Why only Petronas and it's staff enjoy that benefit ? If the government is of the opinion that it can no longer afford to subsidise petrol and diesel, we the ordinary people of this country is also of the opinion that we can no longer afford to bear the price hikes of almost everything. On behalf of the people in similar position as mine , I appeal to the government to be reasonable to us . We can no longer stand the inflation .

As an excuse for the price increase of petrol and diesel the government are always in the habit of comparing the price of petrol and diesel in the neighbouring countries without consideration of the buying power of the people of that country .It is therefore not fair to compare that way.Now , stop pulling us by the nose .

Entry made on 1st.August 2005.

I was watching the morning's programme over TV3 where Minister in the Prime Minister's Department with Special Functions responsible for Finance , was interviewed perhaps to explain to the public reasons for the price hike of petrol,diesel and gas .When asked why the government could not continue subsidising petrol, diesel and gas from the profits the government gets from the price increase of crude oil, the Minister explained that it would be unfair to the people who do not have motor cycles and motor cars . What a naive explainations ? Don't the Minister know that the price hikes of petrol and diesel would snowballed into price increases of other goods and services which eventually would affect everybody including those who do not have motor cycles and cars too ?

I am sad , because the Minister had failed to convince us , and so to safeguard the welfare of the ordinary people of this country .

Entry made on 2nd.August 2005

True enough as expected via the TV3 8.00 pm. news this evening ,it was announced by the Minister responsible for Tenaga Nasional , that there would be a hike in electricity's tarrifs because according to him Tenaga Nasional could no longer stand the pinch of the world's oil price increase .Any decent thinking person would know what to expect as a result of the electricity tarrif's hike .Obviusly , an inflation to the economy and a burden to the rakyat , especially the fixed income earners like me .

10th. July is my Birthday .

Yesterday 10th.July , was my birthday .When I was young I used to think that men 58 years of age were considered already very old . .One of that age was often described as unproductive , has nothing left to offer and perhaps just a burden to family and society. Today , I almost do not believe myself that I am actually already 58 years old .Contrary to my earlier assumption about 50 and above old men , I do not feel that I am less capable than that of men below 50 years. I feel , I am as strong and as active as a horse .I think I am still good looking and feeling great and very much looking forward to the future . I am still very eager to see the world and God willing I'll be on the track to pursue my love to travel .In other words I do not feel being old at all . Perhaps the only different of myself today and that of a few years ago is that I am a bit more sober , mature and a little bit more religious than before . It is only natural for men of my age to experience what I am experiencing today .

Besides receiving Birthday wishes from my wife ,my son Azman and Alisya my 6 year old grand daughter , no one else seems to remember to do so .I guess they are too busy with their chores ?

In the evening I was treated to a pizza dinner .

London under attack .

Today through the TV news we were told that London was attacked by the terrorists. Underground train transport in the city of London was completely disrupted .It is believed more than 50 lives were killed and a few hudreds were injured .Prime Minister Blair was quick to accuse the Muslim terrorists as being responsible even though investigation has yet to reveal any evidence towards that .Coincidently a secret organisation linked to the al Qaedah Europe group claimed responsibility in the name of Islam .Any way the claim has yet to be verified .However I would like to convey my condolence to the families of those casualties .

As a Muslim I do not rejoice over what had happened in London ,nor do I support the action done by the so called Muslim terrrorist group if they actually did the atrocities .The action was certainly against the teachings of Islam for whatever reasons they may have .The religion of 'Islam' comes from the word 'salam' which means 'peace' .The religion prohibits the killing of innocent people . Whoever claim thay they are permitted to do such has obviously diagressed from the true teachings of Islam .

However tonight's TV3 programme ' Majalah 3 ' showed the atrocities of the Israelis on the Palestinians. TV3 journalists had the opportunity to visit Palestinian refugee camps in Lebanon and Syria and the sites of the famous massacre of Shatra and Shatilla .I could not help myself and I cried after witnessing the atrocities on innocent people by the Israelis and obviously with the blessing of the Americans and it's allies .Now , I could understand why the Palestinians , the Arabs and the Muslims in general , hated the Israelis , the Americans and it's allies so much .

My sympathy on the casualties of London naturally withers.

Today is Father's Day . Thank you dad .

Today is Father's Day .Unfortunately no one remember to wish me .Perhaps celeberating Father's Day is still strange to most of us .However , I was still happy because I got a treat to a sumptious sea food , at a sea front restaurant in Port Klang-the Muara Restaurant by my son Syazirul Azman .My wife and our two daughters went together with Azman's girl friend ,Shidah .

Although, I do not really like to glorify the values of the Europeans , personally I feel there is nothing wrong in accepting some of their postive values .Celeberating Mother's Day and Father's Day make us remember to appreciate the good deeds of our parents and a way to thank them .We will never be able to repay them , but at least by showing them a token of our appreciation would make them very happy .

One thing about me , I never forget to wish my wife , my children and even my daughter-in-law on their birthdays .I would very much like to wish my father on Father's Day like today . Unfortunately, I would never be able to do so because he had passed away five years ago .I will never be able to reverse the clock again .My only wish today, is that he would rest in peace and be blessed by almighty God .

My old man was a very simple man .Coming from a traditional background naturally made him into a very strict father .Although he brought us by the traditional ways ,I am glad he had performed his responsibilities well and mould us into responsible men and women .All my brothers and sisters are successful in our own ways .At least we have decent homes , happy and successful families. I know that my father was very proud of me as I had set a good example to my brothers and sisters .I had a good career and my children are successful in their studies .My late father always encourage us to excell in our studies because according to him he did not have much property to be inherited to us.Only good education that he would try to provide us .According to him good education would be more meaningful than the property . My only regret is that he did not have the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of our success as he was then too old and sickly .

Any way dad , thank you for everything that you have provided and cherished us .Although you are not around to witness our joy and happiness , your soul is always with us .

God bless you dad . Amin .

The government announced a big increase in doctors allowances.

The Star ,today's front page brings a lot of cheers from doctors and would be doctors ,because the government announced an increase in allowances for doctors as high as 400 % .Call allowance for Medical Officers will be doubled from RM.75.00 to RM 150.00 ,while that of houseman goes up to 400% from RM.25.00.With this increase a young houseman can take home an extra of about of RM.700.00 - 800.00 per month .This means a young houseman earn an amount as follows :
Basic salary RM 2137.00
Critical allowance RM 500.00
Service allowance RM 170.00
Housing allowance RM 210.00
Call allowance RM 800.00 ( average )
Total income RM 3817.00

So , a doctor's pay is not bad now a days .I hope our daughter Eileen would study hard so that she could qualify as a doctor .I am sure the doctors remuneration would be better than today , in five years to come . The government have got no choice but to give doctors a better deal in order to avoid them from leaving the government service .

I still hope and pray that Fareen would be successful in her application to the medical/dentistry matriculation class at UIA .The result of her application would be known any time now .

In another page of The Star, the Minister of Health Dr.Chua Soi Lek announced that Malaysia is still short of 677 dentists. In order to overcome the shortage the government need to train 375 dentists each year while currently the government could only afford to train 150 dentists each year .So ,if Fareen is to study dentistry ,it would be good for her too .( Her second choice happens to be dentistry ).Any way ,I leave it to her to make her own choice .

I am alone in the house today.

I am alone in the house .Wife and Fareen has gone to JB again this morning.( We came back from JB last Sunday ,22nd.May 2005 ).Fareen's inconsiderate lecturer phoned us yesterday ,requesting Fareen to come back to UTM to sit for her Mathematics paper which she missed last Friday because she suddenly fell ill .She would be sitting for her Mathematics paper tomorrow ,27th.May 2005 . They left by bus .They preferred to go by bus although I offered to drive them to JB .Obviously , they wanted to stay longer in JB.If I go , the most I could stay there would be 2 nights .I hope and pray that she would do well in her Mathematics paper .
I did not go any where today except to the bus station in the morning and for a while at the Makro .I have not been to our new house for 3 days ,otherwise I would be there almost everyday .I have to be there to ensure that work done to the house is according to our tastes .It is now in it's final stage of completion .

For dinner I just had a piece of home prepared burger .I do not feel like going out .

Going to JB to pick up Fareen .

Received news today that our daughter Fareen suddenly fell ill and vomitted ,this morning while she was about to sit for her Mathematics paper for her final exams in UTM and she was rushed to hospital by one of her lecturers .Luckily , she was soon released from the Hospital .Of course she was given medication . However, she missed the Mathematics paper . Any way according to her the lecturer told her not to worry because she would be given a chance to sit for the paper alone later .The university would be writing to her to inform her of the date when she would be sitting for the Mathematics paper .

I think she was not having her food regularly because she would have to buy the food at the cantin . You know lah sometimes this lady 'malas' to go to the cantin .Probably ,she could have skipped her dinner or breakfast . I always reminded my children to have their meals regularly and and to take good quality food .Where food is concerned ,there should not be any compromise .As the saying says ,a healthy person makes a healthy mind which is vital to students especially during examinations .

Fareen is supposed to complete her 'matriculation course' at UTM this Saturday 21st.May 2005 . She is supposed to be back at the university to begin her 1st. Year of her degree course in late June 2005. I would be driving to JB tomorrow to pick her up . This also means that I would be missing my class at UM this Saturday . I guess I have to sacrifice for the sake of our daughter . On our way home I hope to stop at Port Dickson to fetch my trousers and shirts from my regular tailor there .

We are supposed to move to our new home in Klang at the end of August or early September 2005 .We hope to have our Ramadhan fast and Idilfitri celeberation there .

Feeling miserable today.( Jottings meant for personal perusal only )

I feel so miserable today . Having had a big quarrel with my wife over a trivial matter - I was having a perception that she was rude to me , which of course she denied it.I do not know off late ,I feel very sensitive .Perhaps due to my age ,that I easily get upset over small matters.We are of the same age ,therefore we should take cognisance of our situations. The problem with her is that she refused to tow the line of which being a wife ,I feel she should.She insist that everything should be done according to her ways .But I do not mind that much because I am very practicable and I can compromise .One thing that irritates me ,of which I could not take it any more ,is her rudeness .I do not know why off late she tends to be blunt with her words - without consideration for it's sensitivity at all .It really hurts to hear her words .Although the words are not really hurting if said in a nice way , instead if it is said in such a way, it tends to be very brutal .

I had warned her to be very careful with her words and exclaimations so as not to hurt me .But my efforts were ( as the Malay proverb says ) just like pouring water on to a yam leaf. She keeps on repeating the same mistakes. The problem is she does not think before blurting out her words . Worst of all , she refused to accept her mistakes and thus the mistakes keeps on repeating .Each time she claim that there is nothing wrong with her words .I am not crazy as to simply get upset for nothing ?

Sometimes I feel like not to talk to her .Infact ,I did tried but it made matters worst and I felt pathetic towards her .I think she needs counselling but she attends religious talks/classes at the local surau regularly .I do not know what else to do .I feel so miserable and hopeless .Perhaps I should leave the house for some times in order to cool things off .Ya , I should go on my exotic trip to Central Asia , as had been planned .Any way ,I would still have to wait untill our house is completed .In the mean time what can I do ?Oh God ,please help us .

Another petrol and diesel price hike .

For the past weeks the Malaysian press and the other news media have been highlighting the shortage of diesel in the country.It was said that the shortage was due to the smuggling of diesel to neighbouring countries such as Thailand and the Philippines. There was a hue and cry over the shortage and many lorries and buses and other public transport vehicles had to be off the road .That incapable Minister of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs pretended to be too concerned by doing spot-checks at some petrol stations .He has been giving statements to the effect that the government has been too much burdened with subsidies on petrol and diesel and that the government would soon find a solution to the problem .(Perhaps the solution was to increase the price of petrol and diesel ?).

Yesterday, ( Wednesday ) evening after the Cabinet meeting the government announced another price hike for petrol -10 sens and diesel -20 sens .The government explained that it had to increase the price in order to reduce the subsidies on petrol and diesel gradually .The last price hike was just a few months ago in .In March 2005 the government announced a price increase on fares of public transport such as taxis, buses and lorries which had caused the prices of essential goods to go up too.

The last price hike had caused the fares for buses , ferries , train and lorries to increase significantly . What would be the effect of todays petrol and diesel price hike ? Definitely another increase on fares and essential goods ? To the ministers and members of parliement this would be alright because the government had just announced a big pay rise for them .Fixed income people especially pensioners like me would be worst hit by the present scenario . We simply could not tighten our belt any more because it is already tightened to the limits .No other choice, we have to change our spending habits, otherwise we would end up with heavy debts .

Malaysians should voice our dissatisfaction with the way the government is administrating the country .As responsible citizens we should not just keep quiet or worst still be agreeable with the governments action .How can each time they want to increase the price of petrol and diesel ,they put the blame on the huge subsidies ? Our country is an oil producing country . Why shouldn't the people enjoy a slightly lower price of petrol and diesel than any other countries ? Why don't the government blame on the subsidies when the price of proton cars is much cheaper overseas than in Malaysia ? Why don't the government blame on subsidies when the price of palm oil , rubber and other exported commodities are much cheaper in this country than those exported ?Further more it was diesel that was experiencing the shortage , why need to increase the price of petrol ? Doesn't this looks like that the shortage was superficial and that it was engineered by the government to justify the price increase of petrol and diesel ???

I am now suggesting that Ministry be just called Ministry of Domestic Trade minus the Consumer Affairs for reason that it is not protecting the consumers interests at all .

Today , most newspapers wrote that the Lorry Transport Owners Association are proposing an increase in fares of about 40% .This ,if approved by the government would certainly lead to another big inflation .

Labour Day - May Day ( 1970s )

Today is 1st.of May. It is Labour Day .It's a public holiday , a holiday for workers to rejoice, for on that day their struggle to be recognised as a force to be reckoned finally gained footing .They also won the right for an 8 hour a day work .Otherwise the workers were left to the mercy of the employers. However most of the trade unions those days were infiltrated by the leftists/socialists/communists elements.They took the oppotunity during the workers day celeberation and other days of communist significants , to attack and murder Police officers .

Although the Emergency in this country was lifted in 1960 , the Communist threat were still lurking up to the 1980s .In the 1970s especially , there were a number of murders of Police officers .Police officers were ambushed and shot while coming out of their houses , while having coffee in coffee shops ,while walking to their cars parked in secluded areas ,while opening their house doors to strangers and etc. A few of my colleagues were slained that way .

I remember those days we had to carry firearms wherever we went .We had to change routes on our way to and from our homes to avoid being ambushed .We were told to avoid frequenting public places and not to straight away open our house doors whenever there is a knock from outside . Our wives too were encouraged to go for shooting practice so that they can use the firearms during emergency .Inspite of the frequent attacks/shootings , our spirits were high .Each year during Labour Day and other days of communist significants we had to be on standby and sometimes had to accompany the Special Branch to make raids on suspected communist hideouts .

In the 1970s my two boys were still very young and they did not know anything , while my two daughters were not yet born .Only after the 1980s that the country was really free from the communists threats .I am glad no untoward incident on me and I am glad too that I survived till my retirement. To my colleagues who had to die defending the nations integrity, may you rest in peace .You died honourably .

Although I am now retired , I still remember vividly how life was in the 1970s .We were then in Johor - Muar , Segamat and Johor Bahru. There wasn't much development then .Inspite of that however we lived quite comfortable .It was the prime period of my life as I was still young and energetic .Thirty years ago is as if it was just like yesterday .

We do not go any where except stay at home during this long week end holidays . Our apartment in Port Dickson is being borrowed by my brother in-law Zainal from Johor Bahru .They are here to do the ' merisek ' ( proposal ) for one of his nephews in Nilai .

Fareen attended an interview at MARA HQ. today.

Almost the whole day was spent in KL today .It was because we had to send our daughter Fareen to the MARA HQ where she attended an interview for a scholarship to study medicine/dentistry/biotechs overseas.It was quite a crowd there with other activities being held there simultaneously . Immediately after her interview was over we sent her to the Pudu Bus station for her to get back to UTM Skudai because she would have to sit for a test the next day.I do not know of her chances in seeking the sponsorship to study overseas .I could only pray for her success . I want the best for her .If she chooses to study overseas then I'll have no say but to support her .She chooses to study in Australia if she is successful in her application .Obviously she do not want any thing less than her sister, Eileen .This is a good development for it is a healthy competition which keeps her spirit going and motivate her to study harder .On the other hand ,I hope her sister Eileen would not feel threatened . Instead she should feel proud because she had helped to motivate her sister to follow in her footsteps . I would be the happiest man in the world if both of them would be successful in their profession as doctors and could work together in a clinic which they would share as equal partners .I am looking forward to seeing them being nice to each other .I am a bit unhappy of their present relationship which is not very sisterly .I hope both of them would try to mend matters .After all they are the only 2 sisters in our family .

To reminisce what happened to me more than 38 years ago ,after my Cambridge School Certificate ( equivalent to SPM today ) ,because of poverty my father failed to send me to Form VI although I passed my Sixth Form Entrance Exams.(I was one of 4 students only from my school who passed that exams) .I was very eager to continue my studies. At that time that was the only way for us to go to university . Feeling frustrated ,shamelessly , I cried so hard that even the neighbours could hear my cries ,despite of the fact that our kampong houses were quite far apart . Cleverly , my father tried to console me by telling me not to blame fate for what had happened . Further, he told me that there could be a 'hikmah' ( hidden agenda by God ) for my failure to continue my studies then. He further hinted to me that my chidren ( although I was not yet married then) could be very successful in their studies instead .Today , I am grateful to my late father for what he had predicted 38 years ago are beginning to show signs of the truth .May he rest in peace .

I am grateful to Allah too .

American Policy on Palestine must change.

Who dare says that terrorism has nothing to do with Palestine ,especially Muslim terrorism. It is a well known fact that Muslim terrorism culminates from the American bias policy towards Palestine .George Bush seems to think that Israeli occupation of Palestine land as that of their rights .He also seems to think that Israel's aggression of the Palestinians as trivial , as if the Palestinians are no human beings .He seems to think that the Israeli's continous dehumanising acts on the Palestinians as a right of the Israelis .Israeli acts of terror on Palestinian children and women seems to be regarded as no act of terrorisms .However ,when the Palestinians acted to defend themselves these acts are regarded as acts of terrorism.Does Bush expect the Palestinians just to stand still while their houses were being demolished by the Israelis and their women and children being massacred almost daily. In other words the Palestinians should not do anything because whatever they do would be termed as acts of terrorism while the Israelis could do anything .

We all know that there was no country called Israel before the World War II. Israel was created by the Western allies as a result of the Balfour Treaty as a reward to the Jews for supporting the Allied Forces during the World War II . Israel was created at the expense of the Palestinian nation .The Palestinians had loss their lands and many of them migrated to other countries .However the majority of them remain on their land in the new country of Israel .These are the Palestinian people who are being subjected to aggression by the Israelis today. As a result of some resolutions of the United Nations , Israel was to give a portion of it's land to the Palestine nation with Jerusalem as it's capital to co-exist side by side with Israel . Unfortunately Israel failed to honour such resolutions .Resolutions after resolutions were passed by the UN and each time it was vetoed by the US, Israel's greatest ally .United States acts as if they are the Police of the world but at the same time she also acts as the biggest gangster who would terrorise small defenceless nations. What hope the Palestinians still have ? Either way , they would die . Rather than die without a fight ,the Palestinians chose to fight . Some even to the extent of blowing up themsleves in order to kill as many enemies ( they have since regarded the Israelis and the Americans and it's allies as their enemies ) as possible .

If the US is really serious to stop terrorisms , she must first of all change her policy towards Palestine .She must be fair to the Palestinians and the Muslims ,otherwise Muslims through out the world would have no bloody respect for her .The Muslims have lost their faith in President Bush .

When can we have a fair world ? Enemies of Islam are controlling our world .Are we just to sit still and watch them humiliating and dehumanising us. The Muslims should strengthen their 'ukhwah '( esprit de corps ) .We must be sensitive to all what happen to our brothers and sisters be where they are and try our level best to provide whatever help we could .Arab Muslim nations should also stop being double faced . On one hand they are calling for Muslim solidarity but on the other hand they are siding/aiding the Americans ( eg.during the American's aggression on Iraq (Gulf War) etc.)because that big power could guarantee to sustain their power.There is always suspicions among the Arab Muslim countries.They are always envious of each other .No country can lead the Arabs .Perhaps they could only be led by a non Arab country like Malaysia .Typical Arabs. Because of that it is no surprise that God has selected Prophet Muhammad from the Arab community to reveal our great religion of Islam in order to guide the Arabs and all mankind to the right path.

Our daughter Farin has been offered to do her matriculation at Kolej Matrikulasi Perak in Gopeng .However ,she has turned down the offer and she is still in UTM Johor Bahru, where she is due to complete her university prepatory course course in mid May 2005 . She is hoping for an offer either from JPA/MARA ( medic . ) or UIA ( medical matric.) which would be known in June 2005. Any way I hope she would accept an offer from UIA because we cannot afford to be too far away from her . Her elder sister is already away in Ireland .

I am still stuck at home . Just could not be away .Our new house is nearing completion .It is expected to be ready in August/September 2005 . Then only I could think of going overseas to pursue my dream - to be on the Silk Road of Central Asia and other exotic places .